DH annoyed that I have a dad!

[Lightwooddoor]

My DH is annoyed that I am going out to see my dad on Father’s Day, leaving him with the kids for a couple of hours. Apparently he wanted us all to do something together.

For context, my Father’s Day so far has involved giving him a blowjob in bed this morning, making him his favourite breakfast, and letting him mooch about whilst I entertained the kids.

He was like ‘I did the same for you on Mother’s Day! And I didn’t go out in the afternoon!’ Which is true but his mum is no longer with us so hardly fair.

I dunno. I can see his point of view and he’s not droning on about it. I just feel conflicted. I’d have loved to have spent the day all together but my dad isn’t up for going out these days and I would like to see him too.

YABU.

You didn't say how old your children are... presumably old enough to entertain themselves while you have morning oral sex 🤣

But it's your job to teach and encourage your children to show their dad that they love and appreciate him on Father's Day. This is just as important as doing this for your own dad. I don't see why you couldn't do something for them both - either invite your dad to do something with you and the whole family, or do something with DH and kids on one day and something with your dad on the other day - but discuss it with your DH beforehand so it can be a joint decision and he knows what to expect.

What, with op's magic time machine 🙄

I completely disagree. I think it should be more about the generation who have ‘completed’ parenting after all, they gritted their teeth and got through all of it. I also think that the older the are the more special they are - you should make the most of having them around.

My kids don’t yet really understand what they are thanking me for. One day, if/when they have their own kids, a heartfelt ‘thanks for everything mum’ will mean so much more, than now where they only do it because my DP tells them they should.

OP go and celebrate your dad.

I DEFINITELY don’t want to teach my kids that they celebrate parents over grandparents 😂. I’m modelling that granny comes first in EVERYTHING … I want to be a very involved grandparent 😂😂😂❤️

When did you make the plans and how long will you be out for. On the face of it it seems pretty sad to resent you going to see your dad today for a while as well as spending time as a family.

Me three.
OP has made it clear she has done the breakfast in bed and then some including him having child-free time, so he's having the hump unnecessarily. Which he is.

FD is either one of or combination of:

1. One parent having big fuss made of them
2. Grandparent also being visited/called)included
3. Family trip/time with or without extended family

OP has done the first. Presumably kids have also made cards/gifts.
She is now doing the second.
He has some quality time with his kids.

If he wanted a day off from them entirely then he should have asked for that as his gift. It's not babysitting when they're his.
If he wanted family day out, he could have given his wife the heads-up, unless she was meant to read minds and organise a fun outing as well as the blow job.

So funny how many women are falling over themselves to claim the point of Father’s Day is for him to be a father and that’s the gift OP is giving him for going out, when approximately none of them would say the same on Mother’s Day.

I think “parents days” are either for celebrating as a whole family (with the relevant grandparents if that works for you) or giving the celebrated parent time off from childcare. So if you’re going to see your dad, you should be taking the children with you. If you can’t/wont do that, you arrange to see your parent some other time so the parent of small children actually gets a break/celebration.

I’d be really annoyed if my Mother’s Day just involved me doing solo childcare all afternoon for three kids while my husband went off to have an adult afternoon with his mum.

I think “parents days” are either for celebrating as a whole family (with the relevant grandparents if that works for you) or giving the celebrated parent time off from childcare. So if you’re going to see your dad, you should be taking the children with you. If you can’t/wont do that, you arrange to see your parent some other time so the parent of small children actually gets a break/celebration.

I’d be really annoyed if my Mother’s Day just involved me doing solo childcare all afternoon for three kids while my husband went off to have an adult afternoon with his mum.

I think “parents days” are either for celebrating as a whole family (with the relevant grandparents if that works for you) or giving the celebrated parent time off from childcare. So if you’re going to see your dad, you should be taking the children with you. If you can’t/wont do that, you arrange to see your parent some other time so the parent of small children actually gets a break/celebration.

I’d be really annoyed if my Mother’s Day just involved me doing solo childcare all afternoon for three kids while my husband went off to have an adult afternoon with his mum.

I think “parents days” are either for celebrating as a whole family (with the relevant grandparents if that works for you) or giving the celebrated parent time off from childcare. So if you’re going to see your dad, you should be taking the children with you. If you can’t/wont do that, you arrange to see your parent some other time so the parent of small children actually gets a break/celebration on their special day.

I’d be really annoyed if my Mother’s Day just involved me doing solo childcare all afternoon for three kids while my husband went off to have an adult afternoon with his mum.

I think “parents days” are either for celebrating as a whole family (with the relevant grandparents if that works for you) or giving the celebrated parent time off from childcare. So if you’re going to see your dad, you should be taking the children with you. If you can’t/wont do that, you arrange to see your parent some other time so the parent of small children actually gets a break/celebration on their special day.

I’d be really annoyed if my Mother’s Day just involved me doing solo childcare all afternoon for three kids while my husband went off to have an adult afternoon with his mum.

I think “parents days” are either for celebrating as a whole family (with the relevant grandparents if that works for you) or giving the celebrated parent time off from childcare. So if you’re going to see your dad, you should be taking the children with you. If you can’t/wont do that, you arrange to see your parent some other time so the parent of small children actually gets a break/celebration on their special day.

I’d be really annoyed if my Mother’s Day just involved me doing solo childcare all afternoon for three kids while my husband went off to have an adult afternoon with his mum.

The BJ 🤢🥴 TMI

Exactly. Just flip it round to see how reasonable it sounds

Bottom line is your Dad will always be your Dad, your Husband might not always be your Husband. Let him sulk and go and give your Dad a cuddle.

I didn’t realise Fathers Day was now on the approved list of when blow jobs were a requirement - I just thought it was Xmas and birthdays.

I can't get past the TMI blowjob on Father's Day 🤢🤮🤮 really didn't need to know that

Who made up that rule?

In my view, Mothering Sunday and Father's Day are opportunities for anyone old enough to understand them to do something nice in recognition of what their parent has provided for them. A gift, a nice lunch, a card, a phone call, are all sensible. Whole days where the world revolves around the relevant parent are ridiculous, as are expectations that partners/husbands get involved on behalf of children who re too young to understand.

I find it ridiculous how many people create ridiculous expectations and then get upset because everyone else doesn't live up to them.

OP, it's perfectly appropriate for you to spend some time with your father today and your children can do the same for their father when they are old enough.

If the kids are small I would have seen my dad yesterday. Mine are teens so are no bother (all in bed/gaming/chilling in room) but I did check with DH what he wanted to do (nothing) and he knew I would be popping out and was ok with this. You need to communicate better with each other!

What the blow job specifically for Father' Day?!!

He'll always be the father of OPs child though

Mums net does make me laugh. If this was Mother’s Day and a bloke was saying at 10.50am I want to go and see my mum and leave you at home doing childcare he would be eaten alive in the comments. Switch the genders and all of a sudden it’s fine.

Totally agree with what you’ve said.

he would be slaughtered if that was happened on Mother’s Day

Think it was relevant to the point that he had a nice morning!