DH annoyed that I have a dad!

[Lightwooddoor]

My DH is annoyed that I am going out to see my dad on Father’s Day, leaving him with the kids for a couple of hours. Apparently he wanted us all to do something together.

For context, my Father’s Day so far has involved giving him a blowjob in bed this morning, making him his favourite breakfast, and letting him mooch about whilst I entertained the kids.

He was like ‘I did the same for you on Mother’s Day! And I didn’t go out in the afternoon!’ Which is true but his mum is no longer with us so hardly fair.

I dunno. I can see his point of view and he’s not droning on about it. I just feel conflicted. I’d have loved to have spent the day all together but my dad isn’t up for going out these days and I would like to see him too.

I think op just wanted us to think she’s such a good wife for giving her dh a blow job ⭐️ gold star for you op

Yet on Mother’s Day people were outraged at being left at home to be a mum because it was their “special day”

I think fathers' day and mothers' day are both ridiculous with people having far too much expectation. Your DH has had a great day so far, mainly because of you. He is not your father. He can spend time with his children whilst you visit your father.

My adult children asked what I was doing for their DF today....nothing, he is not my father! The dog gave him a bag of fudge!

Fathers day is mainly for the parents of young children. You should have gone to see your father yesterday. If you insist on going anyway at least take the DCs with you.

My advice would be the same, blowjob or no blowjob 🤣

Haha may Blow job was the OP suggesting she already did something special for DH!

Hmm, does seem odd and transactional like DH/OP aren’t understanding the concept fully of Father's Day. I mean shouldn’t it be a day of appreciation of the fact you’re lucky enough to be a dad and (hopefully) have kids that want to empathise that fact more so that day by spending time with you? Not a ‘second birthday’ with sexual ‘treats’ 🤦🏻‍♀️

Haha. A father who doesn’t want to spend a couple of hours on his own with his kids. What a gem!

Apparently he wanted us all to do something together.

Perhaps he should have said something then?

We would often see our dads in the morning & then do stuff as a family in the afternoon.

He’s spending Father’s Day with kids he is a Father too so I don’t get the moaning.

Didn’t need to know you sucked him off this morning tho.

Why should she? She is seeing her own father for two hours. And in that time, her children are seeing their father, because it’s Father’s Day… not husbands day. Leaving plenty of time to do something together later on.

@Lightwooddoor shouldn’t need to feel conflicted visiting her own dad. And she obviously mentioned her DH’s mum to make the point that the two situations are not comparable…which they aren’t.

This made me cringe but laugh at the same time 🤮

but but but.....aren't gifts on father's day supposed to be from the kids?

I don't understand why your dh and the kuds aren't going with you to see your dad?

Depends on several factors, really.

By a couple of hours, do you mean two hours maximum? Or do you mean two and a half, three, maybe four hours? Big difference.

How old are the children? Will they need constant hands on care in your absence?

Is your dad in fine form, or lonely and/or vulnerable? Could he have been invited to pop in to see you in your home instead?

Does your plan to see your dad mean that you now can't do something that he would have liked to have together with you as a family?

Reality sucks so does the OP 😂

Ah usual double standards on MN

Mothers Day - I am the mother now, everyone should bow down to me, my mother and definitely my MIL have had their time - this is ok apparently

Fathers Day - husband is unreasonable because I want to spend time with my parent

People are really weird about Father’s Day.

it’s just a hallmark holiday. OP has done more than enough for her DH. 🤣

And crikey the prudes are out today too 🤭

@Lightwooddoor i think it’s lovely you want to see your dad today. Husband needs to grow up a little. My husband is currently cooking a roast dinner for his dad who is due with mum in law any minute now (DIL is 82).

I completely disagree. Its Fathers Day, not single man with no dependents day.

And if ops father is elderly this may be the last one.

Could you not all have visited your dad and then spent the rest of the day with your own family?

this is what we have always done on Moher’s or Father’s Day.

I would be pretty miffed if dh went off and spent Mother’s Day with his mum rather than with his own wife and children.

You and he should have talked about plans for the day in advance. It’s completely fine to want to see your own dad, especially if he lives nearby and you can visit easily enough. But I do think it would have been a good idea for you and your DH to plan something for your own family together if he wanted to do that, and def if you are heading off
to see your dad, you and DH should have been talking about that and how it fits into the day.

When my dad was alive I would take the kids to see him on father's day - much fairer I think

My rule of thumb was that a parent who is being recognised on mothers or Father’s Day must never be left alone to look after kids , where kids are young enough to needing full supervision, care etc. When the kids reach teenage years and can fend for themselves then no reason for day off parenting…just normal emergency keep them alive stuff!

so, in this case if kids are now needing to be looked after by dad whilst mum goes to her dad, then nope, not ok. Not unless she takes her kids along too and gives dad a kids free few hours to do his own thing. If he’d like that

sorry, but when kids are young and need hands on supervision, mothers or Father’s Day is one day when you should be released of all “duties” and have parenting time off . Or at least not your full responsisibity. Obviously if you’re doing soemthing like a meal out, day or visiting, you’ll still be involved but the other parent is decison maker for the day .

im not a big mother or father day perosnal. I have always expected a card or something home made when they were little. But it was never a big deal in our house. We’d never go out specially for it. Adulation sons do send flowers now, and if I’m lucky they’ll have time to call…but I don’t expect it and am always pleased with the flowers!

And certainly in my own generation as a kid Father’s Day just wasn’t a thing at all…we had Mothering Sunday , a church thing mostly. That was it. Never wished my dad happy Father’s Day..he would have been gobsmacked there was such a thing. It was barely a thing in uk until 1980s imhe.

but I do think if you’re a family that does recognise it, giving that parent the day off form parenting is the one thing you can gift to show you appreciate the effort they normally make .

provided they’re not a slack dad or Disney dad of course! 🤷‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

I agree

People are weird about a made up day.