I feel Unappreciated buy my husband

[Pen875]

Has anyone ever left a marriage because they have felt unappreciated from their husband's and in their marriage and when your husband asks you to do something it's not good enough for him

OP this organization exists to help you:

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

Phone them (now if you can safely) and get advice.

He brings nothing to you. No money, no help. Just abuse. Get the help you need to be rid of him.

Perhaps your mum can stay with you for a while to help keep you safe and help with the kids.

My mum is in here late 70s

Op this is so sad to read, why the hell haven't you left him, or made him leave , why are you living like this, god op did you really need the ask the question, like your not sure, ??
Please take the advise being offered here,

He has refused to leave and I can not afford to move

Is your house rented (and if so is it private rent or council/housing association) or owned OP?

Your children will be more than aware of the domestic violence going on in the household. You must go to their school and make the Head aware of your situation, the school can help the children. You must get help for yourself and them. You cannot continue like this.

So you work 2 jobs, out of your house from 7am to 9 or 10pm, your Mother does all the childcare then you come home and have housework to do.
Meanwhile husband is at home doing nothing at all all day but spending your money.
This cannot be good for your health and well-being.

What is the point of him being there ?
What do your Mother, and Father think of all this ? Presumably Mum feeds the kids. I hope she doesn't feed him....
He is a lazy, abusive, controlling bastard. I don't suppose you have any burly brothers who could go round to ''talk'' to him and help him move out ?
You need some help and advice as soon as possible. Confide in your GP to start with and contact Women's Aid.

The physical abuse only happens when they are in bed

@Pen875 please take the advice on here and contact Women's Aid. They will give you all the advice to be able to leave this lazy, abusive bully, and should be able to get you and the DC into a refuge.

Do your parents know that he is also physically abusive?

You posted about this in another thread yesterday saying that your husband is also having an affair.

The advice in that thread was that you need to report his abuse and get him out of your home. He is abusive in every single way, emotionally, physically and financially.

You must go to the police. Remove the children to your Mum and Dads house for their safety. It make no difference if he is abusive when they are in bed. They are party to a domestic violence situation and that puts them at risk.

😮😮😡

You are not his servant. He is not your boss.

Please start thinking about whether you want to stay in this relationship. Just think how lovely it would be to not have him around making you work your fingers to the bone and criticising everything you do.

And when you've thought about it - divorce the lazy bastard.

I’m so, so sorry, this is awful, my heart goes out to you. My ex was similar, I didn’t have any family nearby to help, I’m so grateful you have your mum, you really can’t go on like this but I think you understand this. You will start resenting him and it will take a toll on your mental health, you and the children really do deserve so much more. The children will know about the abuse even when you think they are asleep. I’m glad you realise this cannot go on and have tried to end the relationship, this alone takes so much inner strength. Can you take photos of any injuries you may have as evidence and report to the police or women’s aid? Or to the safeguarding team at the children’s school? If you live in the Liverpool area I can help, please don’t give up now, your strong and capable, you and your children will find peace. Xxx❤️

I'm not surprised.

He is a truly despicable individual who does absolutely fuck all. Please contact Womens Aid and talk to them about your situation.

He is taking your money, and that is financial abuse. Did you know that financial abuse is a crime? It is illegal.

Call women’s aid now and tell them everything you have told us.

It’s just a first conversation. You don’t have to decide anything yet. But they can help you think about how you might go forward.

There is lots of information here:

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

And this is a national phone line run by Refuge:

tel:0808 2000 247 0808 2000 247

@Pen875

How is it that on this thread you claim you have 6 and 9 year old sons and daughters who are 7 and 8, yet on another thread you claim to have a 10 and 15 year old son and two daughters who are 12 and 14.

And apparently on the other thread you’ve just found out he’s having an affair which surprisingly you’ve failed to mention on this thread?

Either you’re a liar and fantasist or deeply unhappy in your life or all three.

Either way take time to reflect on what you can do to change your life for the better.

Why don't you call the police now and report his abuse, they can come and arrest him then you can apply for a non molestation order and an occupation order so that he can't come near you or enter the house.

Then file for divorce. It can be that simple. You do need support though, def get in touch with Women's Aid.

Your husband hates you, can't you see that?

Honestly what is the point of him? He doesn't contribute financially and doesn't work. He doesn't do any housework or childcare. He is abusive to you and he's taking advantage of your poor mum instead of looking after his own children.
This is not normal and I can't see single reason why you are allowing it. Not being appreciated should be very low on the long list of issues in this relationship.
Report the abuse and police will help him move out!

Yesterday you had 10, 12, 14 and 15 year olds together.....

God get rid of him lazy abusive arsehole. This is no way to live op