I feel Unappreciated buy my husband

[Pen875]

Has anyone ever left a marriage because they have felt unappreciated from their husband's and in their marriage and when your husband asks you to do something it's not good enough for him

I pay for all the bills

Divorce him.

It sounds like he is contributing absolutely nothing and is only making you miserable.

Why would you stay with him? What good does he bring?

Okay - so it sounds like you do recognise that this is very bad and you do want to end the marriage. He does nothing and earns nothing so you should be able to manage without him quite well.

But don’t move out and leave your children. He will use that against you and it could harm your relationship with them, too.

Do you own your house? If you were to split up, you would need to sell it and you could each get your own home from the proceeds. You might need to both be in the family home while you’re waiting for it sell but living separately (ie not as a couple). It’s uncomfortable but potentially doable unless you’re physically at risk from him. It’s a step by step process to get to where you want to be.

If he’s seriously physically violent, you may be able to get him removed but even then it might not be straightforward.

@Pen875you say you get home from work at 9 o’clock or sometimes 10 o’clock at night. What time do you start work in the morning and what time do you leave the house?

Who does the school run? Is the 4 year old is school yet? If not how does your husband look after him/her?

What about meals for the children when you’re at work. Who does them? What about homework etc?

He's given up work to abuse you?
This is more than lack of appreciation @Pen875 .
At least you know you can afford to leave him.
Do you have a support network outside of him?
You'll need to leave this abusive cocklodger.

So you’re the one working and running the home whilst he does F all?

You need to ask yourself how would your life change if he wasn’t there?

You wouldn’t be missing out on his financial support because he doesn’t give any. You would have one less mouth to feed, one less person to clean up after and you’d probably feel a lot lighter and happier.

It doesn’t sound like he actually brings much or anything positive to your life.

He is abusive.

Contact women’s aid and get some professional advice. Why are you with someone who gave up work to check your doing the housework right.

I am a carer for adults with disabilities I work in a carer home and I leave the house at 6 am to get to work for 7 am

And I am also a part time clear on a Saturday and Sunday

Who is looking after the children..? Getting them up, feeding them, getting them to school.?

And I am also a part time clear on a Saturday and Sunday

Cleaner?

If you are out from early in the morning until late at night, presumably your husband is getting the children up, feeding them, taking and collecting them from school, giving them dinner and putting them to bed?

And looking after them at the weekend whilst you are at work?

My mum

Does your Mum live with you too?

Unless you both agreed for him to be a SAHD and performing all of the role that this entails and for you to provide for the family, which it doesn't sound like it was since you said you are doing all the cooking, cleaning and washing, then you need to know very clearly that you are being abused. This is not an environment that you should be living in and it is certainly not an environment to be exposing your children to. They are going to grow up thinking this is normal and it most certainly is not.

You need to contact Women's Aid at the very first opportunity and divorce this pathetic excuse for a husband.

Surely your mum doesn’t prepare his meals too?

So does your husband do all school/nursery drop offs and pick ups, lunches annd dinners etc and childcare at the weekend?
Even if he does, you shouldn’t be coming in and cooking a meal and doing everything at home.

No she lives in the next round down

So she comes round at 6am to get your children up and out for school?

Sorry, what?

No I have to and he it's unappreciated from him or it not good enough

Does your Mum do the school pick up, make the children’s teas and put them to bed too?..if you’re out till 9 or 10 at night and he won’t do it then she must be..

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?.

He is abusing you and in turn your kids. Calling him merely unappreciative does not cover what he is doing to you all.

Seek legal advice asap and from this divorce him. Do not be so quick to move out as he could well use that against you. You seem to be a very caring person which is great but such are ideal foils for abusers to get their teeth into.

What does your mother think of your H exactly?.

So your Mum is coming to yours at 6.00am every day to look after your children while he’s lying in bed?