Has anyone escaped the ‘hormone fuelled’ teenage years?

[NotWorthTheHeadache]

I’m just wondering if anyone has gotten out of the teenage years unscathed?

My DS is currently sitting exams and I’m just so proud of him and how he’s grown up. He really is a dream. He’s 16 and he’s bright, funny, loving, cheeky, polite, good social circle, loves spending time with family, I still get a kiss every morning and evening, tells me he loves me whenever he leaves, goes to bed, even just goes upstairs for a few hours. He’s honestly never given me a days grief. (Not sure where my karma is for how I behaved as a teenager! 🙈)

Will it last?!? People keep saying ‘Oh just you wait til the hormones kick in, til the drinking starts’ etc and I just can’t imagine us ever being at each others throats. It would break my heart.

Tell me about your wonderful teen and adult DSs please (or DDs!) so I know there’s hope that not everyone goes through the dreaded teen years!

Hmm, Dd can be a grumpy, hormonal so and so. She’s 24yo and when she’s in a good mood she’s lovely but sometimes I hide upstairs from her 🙈😆. Shes moving out in Sept and while I’m sure I’ll miss her I think the house might be slightly calmer!

I didn't have any problems with any of my 4 3DD 1DS

I have 1 DD almost 12. Good girl over all very kind caring and funny but does have a touch of the hormonal attitude. She doesn’t get away with it though and quickly comes back down to earth. She starts high school in August so I’m sure it will get worse before it gets better lol

I have four fabulous teens/young adults and honestly, they have been a joy. We have had the odd disagreement in their teenage years, and DD can be a nightmare when she's hangry but her brothers (and us) usually just defuse it with humour and it de-escalates reasonably quickly.

I think we have (perhaps) been very lucky, but we have always laid down our expectations around behaviour, manners, tone etc from Day 1 and have trusted them to make good decisions ..which for the most part they have! If they feel we aren't being fair or unduly harsh, then we would talk about it...I'm in denial that my older two are leaving uni next year and we may see far less of them than we currently do...but we still have a 15ur old and 17yr old at home so am cherishing every moment!

My DS is the same age and sounds similar in character to yours. May they never change!

His sister, on the other hand... she's not badly behaved as such or particularly rebellious, she's just wired very differently and her emotions are all over the place. Much as I love her, she's exhausting.

Well the teenage years with my two were all stress. But, they’re in their late 40’s now and I have recovered. 😉

This is great to hear! There is hope ❤️ How old are yours now?

@MoominUnderWaterI can deal with a bit of grumpiness, we all have an off day! Generally DS will just take himself off if he’s not feeling on form or is not happy with something I’ve done or some rule I’ve made, he’ll come back once he’s done stewing and actually have a conversation, it’s never resorted to shouting, or slamming doors or attitude and rudeness thankfully and I just can’t imagine it.

This is so lovely to read and sounds very much like how we run our house. I’m not overly strict, I trust him to make good decisions, we talk a lot, I listen if he feels something is unfair and we compromise. But I have high expectations around respect, manners and behaviour as well.

He’s my only and will be off to uni in a couple of years I hope. But my god am I going to miss this wonderful human under my roof all the time 😭

Cherish all those moments @Panicmode1and thanks so much for sharing ❤️

Haha! Well look, the best of us can be a victim to our hormones, and maybe the effect of hormones flooding their teenage bodies might be worse for girls than boys? 🤔 I have to look that up!

Wishing you and DD all the best for the new chapter in August!

I just commented to another poster about the effect of the teenage flood of hormones on girls vs boys… is there a difference I wonder? I’d believe if I heard it was more impactful with girls. I have to look that up!

And yes, may our fabulous boys never ever change!

Haha! Well, I’m nearing 40 as well, had DS young so if it goes tits up in the later teenage years I have plenty of time to recover as well 🙈😅

Yep, my two are lovely. One is 21, is a great mix of fun and social but also sensible, his younger brother is 16 and just a delight. He is neurodiverse though and doesn’t really go out, so not loads of opportunities to mess around/cause us agro. I know it could change, but he’d have to have a total personality transplant to be awful

I had 3 who were delightful and still are as young adults.

I think it’s a mindset. We had our ups and downs but I didn’t think of it as ‘terrible teens’, I just saw it as developmental and it needed careful parenting as much as the toddler age, or when they get a bit lippy at age 8/9 or any phase where your child’s ability clashes with parental boundaries.

But you chat, you love them, you redraw (or even strengthen) some boundaries and see how it goes. We very much treated them with trust and respect and we largely got the same back.

Your son sounds lovely and I’m sure he knows it, your post just effuses with pride. I think if they know they’re loved and that you are ok with them that’s half the battle. Good luck!

Ds15 has been very good so far. Dd13 was a tornado in her primary years but has calmed down. Now we get typical teenager behaviour like can’t go somewhere because she doesn’t have right clothes or some friendship issues. It was suspected in year 5 that she is in the spectrum but her behaviour got better in year 6 after some adjustments. She is year 8 now and she says her friends think she quirky but gets along with them very well. Academically she is doing great.

Two gorgeous teens here who have given me no bother either. I was a terror of a teen!

I wonder if some of it is just having 1 child? My dc aren't both teenagers yet, but on their own they are both delightful. However together, there's an awful lot of arguments (they are very different personalities and clash a lot) and bickering, which is what exhausts me.

@familyissues12345thats what I think as well. People warn me all the time about the teenage dramas and agro to come and I just think there would have to be a personality transplant. Maybe we’re just lucky!

@ScreamingabdabzAh thank you! Honestly just bursting with pride this week, state exams are another milestone that he’s just tackling amazingly. My boy is so big! 🥺 And he definitely knows how proud I am and how much he’s loved, I tell him all the time. Our houses sound similar, I’ve never had a problem compromising and redrawing boundaries once he outlines a valid reason why that should happen. We talk and debate things a lot, mostly with a lot of laughs

@mopsisAgain, I wonder are the teenage years more turbulent for girls. Do the hormones affect us more? Are our peer groups tougher? Is there more pressure on girls? Therefore do we also lash out more? I think the answer is probably yes.

Same! Like truly awful! 🙈 I did calm when I was 17 but it was a long 5 years for my Mum! I keep wondering where the karma is lurking…

We're on our third and it's been fine. No drama, no fall outs. Three different but fantastic young people.

All of this!

Maybe? DS does see his Dad, there is multiple children at that house. I know him and his dad have had arguments, nothing serious and his dad’s an ass so that’s not surprising.

At home we just knock along together really calmly. I suppose it helps it’s just the two of us, things have always been really calm.

It really depends on the individual. Not all teens do the stereotypical teen stuff or rebel. I didn't drink when I was a teen. I was pretty chilled out.

Sounds like you have a lovely son.

So envious. My 16 year old is phenomenally challenging. I still think things will turn out well eventually though

My 3 DDs are all adults now and we never had any problems with any of them. I loved the teenage years, seeing them grow into their personalities and start to find their way jn life.

Oh we have had shouting definitely. Total raging in fact. Plus she left home when she was 20yo for a few months and didn’t contact us and didn’t tell us where she was. I knew she was ok as I used to see her round town and at her part time job.

but she’s never gone off the rails, never been out getting drunk, worked hard at uni, kept a part time job going, etc.