Has anyone escaped the ‘hormone fuelled’ teenage years?

[NotWorthTheHeadache]

I’m just wondering if anyone has gotten out of the teenage years unscathed?

My DS is currently sitting exams and I’m just so proud of him and how he’s grown up. He really is a dream. He’s 16 and he’s bright, funny, loving, cheeky, polite, good social circle, loves spending time with family, I still get a kiss every morning and evening, tells me he loves me whenever he leaves, goes to bed, even just goes upstairs for a few hours. He’s honestly never given me a days grief. (Not sure where my karma is for how I behaved as a teenager! 🙈)

Will it last?!? People keep saying ‘Oh just you wait til the hormones kick in, til the drinking starts’ etc and I just can’t imagine us ever being at each others throats. It would break my heart.

Tell me about your wonderful teen and adult DSs please (or DDs!) so I know there’s hope that not everyone goes through the dreaded teen years!

My dc are in their 20s and 30s now.

They were fine as teenagers, Nothing outrageous and sometimes a bit moody but no big dramas.

This is such an interesting post. I don’t think we’ll discover the real effect of Covid lockdowns for years. My son was young when restrictions hit, maybe 10, and he seemed to adapt quite well, it doesn’t seem to have had a big impact on him. But had it hit at a different time, who knows what perspective he would have come out with. Covid restrictions and lockdowns definitely shaped some of our children’s futures and I’m so sorry it had a negative effect on your boy.

And then there’s being the baby of the family and being excused maybe for bad behaviour because he’s made a fuss of. It’s hard not to do when they are the baby!

It’s the nature and nurture debate I suppose? Was he trouble free before Covid? Did his upbringing enable the behaviours? Was he just always like that from birth. It’s very interesting to me and thank you so much for sharing.

My three were tricky at times but all had a good peer group of friends. I definitely picked my battles..I consider myself very lucky TBH .i made my home very welcoming and encouraged fun at our home.
They are all lovely adults.

Lucky you. My 17 year old is pure stress, I mean on the verge of being kicked out, making me wish he’d never been born kind of stress. My 13 year old is an absolute dream.

My “ kids “ are all 40+ now, had an awful time with the eldest ( girl ) we locked horns all the time( realise now she is a mini version of me ):but the middle ( boy ) and youngest ( girl ) never gave me a moment’s “ trouble”.
so , yes, you can have fab , non hormonal teens !

Apparently adolescence lasts until age 27 - when the brain is fully formed … so we have time. I have DDs 16 & 15 and I had all the same warnings … just wait for the teenage years, buckle up etc … I’ve found none of the scaremongering relevant. They’re two amazing young women! I’m honestly in awe of them. They’re very different to one another but they’re equally kind, funny, loving and respectful. I can’t imagine a huge shift in who they are but we‘ll cross any bridges that we come to …

@NotWorthTheHeadache
so I have two DS.
No1 is now 24, worked hard at school took on a part time job at 14, went to college and in a good job now. He was a little sneaky in his late teenage years but not anything remotely serious.
No2 is 21 and just finished uni. I have never had any issues, always open and honest, not a drinker , if he went out he told me where he is going, and who with phoned when coming home etc.
Not everyone goes through the dreaded teenage years so you may well not have anything,

I have three DC in their 20’s and 30’s and didn’t have the difficult teenage years.

Same.

I adore having a teen, my eldest is 16 and while she can sometimes be lazy at home and her lack of accountability irritates me, honestly these are really minor. She’s funny, driven, works her ass off at school with zero nagging from me, and I trust her to be sensible, she has a lot of freedom as a result which I think helps and so she’s never really taken the piss. When I was her age I was skipping school, using drugs, and generally really unhappy. She’s had a much harder time of it but seems to really like herself and be confident which is so amazing for me to see.

The conflict in our house is definitely from her younger siblings so maybe I’ll be in for a tough ride with them!

I have two ds and one dd, and to be very honest never experienced anything like the horrible stories l had heard about. All in their 20's now, doing well for themselves, l could not be prouder. Don't get me wrong, we did have times when they answered back and only did something after the third time of asking them....Never suffered any big issues with them. Not all teenagers go off the rails

This thread is interesting - for those that have dream teens - how were they when they were young?

It makes me wonder how much is nature vs nurture? I.e have they always been pretty well behaved - even as 3-4yrs old, or do you think parenting them in a certain way helped mold them into more well adjusted teens?

Are many 3 year olds badly behaved?

I found not having too many rules in place when my DC were teens seemed to help. I didn’t nag about homework, bedtime, phone usage and I didn’t sweat the small stuff.

All 3 of mine have been wonderfully calm and level headed. No moodiness, no door slamming, no I hate yous etc. Now adults and sorted. Boys and a girl.

Both of mine are adults now didnt really have much drama with either as teens.
They had their moments white lies partying etc coming home late with the my phone die excuse off course it did but your still using it.
Riding on mates mopheads.
Along with shut up mae you dont know me i wish i wasnt born get out my life bla bla bla 20 mins later mae can i lend 30 baht.
Sneaking in and sneaking out.
The sneaking in i didnt care about because i new they finally got home and i will get them in the morning sneaking out i once got asked do you sleep mae so not cool sorry mr 16 year old i for got to close my eyes.
So yeah just the basic stuff lol.

We laugh about it now.

I never had an issue with any of my four. 3 have passed through adolescence and one is 16 and has been no bother yet and I don’t expect him to be so.

Oldest was a ‘spirited’ toddler/younger child 😬 but surprisingly was very easy as a teen. He’s early 20s now, at uni and is lovely, funny, kind, calm and sensible.

Youngest, now 16, has always been an easy child. She’s quieter, very caring, loves learning so loves school and is just a breeze.

We’ve always been very open with both of them and they talk to us about everything. We’ve been very fortunate I think.

Our 15 year old son is fine the only time he goes quiet is when tired other than that happy and funny as always may it last lol

Our DC are now adult and we never really had a problem during the teenage years. They are all boys, so that might make it easier.

I think they inherited that from both parents as neither of us was 'trouble' during our teens.
I've also never really been affected by hormones, whether it be teens, pre-menstral, pregnancy, menopause etc. No mood swings or anything..

I have a 24 and 20 year old boys we get on amazing give me a kiss and hug and love you when going out even when there mates are there have always done that even in school house was a meeting point on a morning , yes they've drank been there to hold there heads when bad very rarely drink now we go for meals or a drink together concerts now and then we have our falling outs but never lasts long , there mates always here and chill out , been there with relationship advice and them with me when i split from there dad must say i've been lucky no major problems at all.

I found the teen years challenging in multiple ways as a parent, although DC also very loving and enjoy spending time with us.
How we parented and reacted was definitely a huge factor, we made some mistakes too! The most important things in my opinion are to ensure each child knows in their heart they are loved and listened to.

Well they have their odd moment but I can't say any more than either of us but I dont believe hormones in teens or adults is an excuse for bad behaviour so in is not acceptable to me to brush it under the carpet 'oh its just teenagers'

Boys were no trouble. One over serious and other very happy. As adults the over serious one is a joker and social, happy boy is quieter and likes to keep out of the limelight. DD was a biter at pre school and found it hard to regulate emotions, dramatic and reactive. Settled by senior school. Now is very affectionate, sensible and by far the most artistic and creative of the 3.

I have three, 19, 17, 15 and proof that parenting style has nothing to do with it. Eldest had a very tricky 3 or 4 years where we struggled to keep a relationship going with her, but now she's lovely and we'll really miss her when she goes to uni. Youngest is okay but seems to be teetering on the edge of the non-communicative phase and doesn't do anything he's asked before you ask him 20 times. Middle one has been a dream teenager, helps around the house without being asked, fun and chatty, has lovely friends but doesn't do getting drunk or anything antisocial. She's very risk averse and sensible, and appreciates her parents (unlike her siblings!)

All mine were lovely when they were little and completely different to each other as teens, same upbringing.