Has anyone escaped the ‘hormone fuelled’ teenage years?

[NotWorthTheHeadache]

I’m just wondering if anyone has gotten out of the teenage years unscathed?

My DS is currently sitting exams and I’m just so proud of him and how he’s grown up. He really is a dream. He’s 16 and he’s bright, funny, loving, cheeky, polite, good social circle, loves spending time with family, I still get a kiss every morning and evening, tells me he loves me whenever he leaves, goes to bed, even just goes upstairs for a few hours. He’s honestly never given me a days grief. (Not sure where my karma is for how I behaved as a teenager! 🙈)

Will it last?!? People keep saying ‘Oh just you wait til the hormones kick in, til the drinking starts’ etc and I just can’t imagine us ever being at each others throats. It would break my heart.

Tell me about your wonderful teen and adult DSs please (or DDs!) so I know there’s hope that not everyone goes through the dreaded teen years!

DS is doing a degree apprenticeship and working really hard, he's 19 but never been any trouble. He's known exactly what he wanted to do for quite a long time and is very academic which has really helped I think.

Ds24 was rather tricky at times and did stress me out. He is ok now. Ds18 never had any issues at all. He is a totally different character and very laid back and we enjoy spending time together that he still seems the want to do.

Snap! My boy has known what he wants to do as a career for about 4 or 5 years. Even the traits he had a small kid were reflective of this choice really. He’s very academic as well but not to a stressed out level, just naturally bright and likes to achieve. A focus definitely helps, whether it’s studies, career goals, sports, hobbies, farming… whatever! It definitely keeps them out of trouble to a degree I think.

I have two tween DDs, one is age 12, full of attitude but she’s been like that since day 1 so I don’t think I can put it down to hormones - if anything she’s got less stompy and door slammy as she’s got nearer to the teenage years!

The other is 10 and my god the hormones kicked in with a vengeance about 9 months ago. Praying that an early start means an early finish.

My dds are 18 and 20 and have been lovely. I found having a baby and toddler the hardest time by far.

My boy still likes hanging out with me too! We love our holidays together and camping and festivals etc. I’m hoping this continues and he’ll just start bringing friends and partners when he’s older! 🤞

When did DS24 start stressing you out can I ask? Did things change at some point or was he always a difficult child? (Hope that’s not offensive, I do think some kids I’ve met are just born difficult 🙈) Glad things are going good for him now x

@NotWorthTheHeadache well really about 16. He is very bright, aced his GCSEs and then went to college and found wine, women and song! I would say he was always more stressed than his brother and more easy to get angry and we did have slammed doors before this. He found big emotions difficult to handle. He needed to mature! He now has a Masters, a fab gf and just bought a house so we got there in the end!!!!

@minipieAh, here’s hoping early start = early finish! 🙈 Definitely think there’s a greater hormone effect on girls, there must be, I know what online rabbit hole I’ll be going down this weekend ti find out!

@DelphineFoxhonestly can’t imagine having both at the same time, don’t know how so many people do it 😅 I only have the one and don’t know how I’d have coped with more, even though DS was a pretty chill baby after 12months. But I did have him young when I was still in college and then building my career so things were logistically nightmarish and very expensive alone. Glad the hard years paid off for you with easier teen years!

Ah, amazing! Fair play to him, and you as his Mum 👏

Was he living away for college? Can I ask you if there is anything you could/would have done differently to keep him on the right path at college? Or is it essentially futile and just out of our control once they go off to college and into the world? Hope that not too personal.

My eldest is 15 and while we've had a few 'moments', he's normally kind, passionate, intelligent, loving and driven. He still wants to watch films and TV with me, debate politics and talk about the future (which he has impressively mapped out). I'm damn proud of him.

My 15 year old girl has her moody and anxious moments but most of the time is very calm, cheerful, incredibly well organized and confident. Has close friends and larger social group in her school and sports team. But also has hobbies she does on her own.

I am glad to hear this. I was absolutely terrible and have assumed my children will be too but good to know it might skip a generation!

I have two adult stepchildren (in their late 20s/30s, so hopefully not going off the rails now) who were the easiest teenagers ever, both for their mum and for DH and me.

I'm the luckiest stepparent I know.

Well that’s been my fear too! I was an absolute tear away as a teenager, complete rebel. Not a nasty teen by any stretch but I just pushed every boundary and got in so much trouble… which Mom then had to kindly bail me out of! 🙈 She’s forgiven me I think 😅

Honestly I keep thinking, it can’t be this enjoyable having a teen? Where’s my karma? 🫣 Fingers crossed it will continue into uni, and adulthood

I thought I had. Three DC who were lovely all through their teens and into adult hood.

But DC4 was hard work! Nothing desperate but stroppy, argumentative and ended up ploughing his A levels. On the good side he's the most affectionate one, still hugging and saying he loves me.

Amazing, I’m so glad for you! And honestly I’ve no doubt that DS father’s wife thinks the same. She’s been very good to him which, no doubt, has added to the lovely person he is now.

My ds now in his thirties was an absolute delight in all the growing up years he slammed the door once in temper dh told him not to …and that was as hard as it got, we see each other regularly and talk often , he has his own family now and is the most fun hands on patient person I know

Do you think your DS4 was a different kind of baby and child to your first 3? Interesting to see he’s the most affectionate of them all! Maybe just the most passionate all round? Even in the bad ways?

Exams can be tough. My boy is really bright but I’ve said to him all week, ‘This is just an exam, it’s doesn’t define you’. I hope your DS finds the path that right for him, exams aren’t the be all and end all.

Yes with my 3 DS. They are 31, 29 and 26 and are so lovely with me other people comment on it. It’s an absolute pleasure to be their mother.

My DS17 is very lovely and chilled. Cuddly, kind and funny, not shouty and only a tiny bit moody. But he doesn't work as hard as he should and does enjoy a party and a drink so I do worry a bit. But because he's so charming and smiley he gets away with a lot 😂

Fab! Fingers crossed we’re going in the same direction. DS genuinely never had a tantrum when he was small, his way of dealing with upset from a very young age was to take himself away to his room or elsewhere, sometimes under his bed 😭 It actually made me feel awful and I used to try and follow him and talk to him but he really just needed to be left alone to come around, still does. If he were to lash out now I’d be so shocked.

I think occasionally about what it will be like when he’s older, family of his own, lovely partner, maybe some kids. It’s going to be so exciting to see him experience all of these milestones.

Parenthood is so damn hard but my god can it be rewarding! I’m having a very proud and rewarding day today. Thanks so much for indulging me in this thread everyone!

Mine is a grown adult and I can honestly say I never had a moment of bother. He was and is the most kind person. And there was no teenage aggro either. One incident at a party with too much cider and his mate brought him home in a taxi (he was 17) and I know he’s done similar for his friends - I drilled into him they need to look out for one another and not just let anyone disappear alone,

Hes always helped around the house cooking and cleaning, and never taken me for granted and sulked when I didn’t have money to buy expensive stuff. He’s worked hard at school and uni, got a part time job and worked hard there, and I am so proud I could explode (I tell him about once a year to avoid him getting an ego). I just feel really really lucky to have him as my child.

Sounds like you have a lovely child there OP and there may never be any hormonal drama. Some kids are just calm and peace.

So lovely! Can I ask, were you guys on your own together as well? To be fair, if a few drunken nights and hard lessons learned is all my boy brings to my door or his, I’ll count myself really lucky. It’s almost a rite of passage really 🙈

And same with the house stuff here, needs reminding at times to do chores but in general he’s a very active participant in how this house runs, really likes cooking and rarely moans. He’s also never sulked when we can’t afford things, he doesn’t care about brands etc anyway. We’re in the middle of buying our first house, it’s been tight and he understands we’re tightening our belts the next few months, ‘We’re on this poverty journey together Mom! 🤣’
Congrats on your wonderful son OP, it’s such a lovely feeling to have raised an incredible boy!

No, I think he's the baby by some years and we (all) spoiled him a little. His big sisters and older brother were lovely kids and made a big fuss of him. He was so angelic looking. We also let him get away with a bit more, made excuses for him and babied him.

He was also 14/15 when Covid hit and closed the school for 6 months - then he went back, got Covid, was ill for 3 months then they shut the schools again Jan to March and then just 'gave' them teacher assessed GCSEs so his Y10/Y11 experience was really difficult and he was barely in school or doing any work for the majority of it. He decided he hated school and just couldn't get back into the habit for A levels.

He's 20 now and still living at home, working full time in a fairly basic job but one he seems to like and is still pretty immature and cuddly. I think he's just very young for his age and whether that is upbringing/Covid or a combination of the two I'm not sure. As a teacher of teens I would say since Covid there is a lot of catching up to do in general with a lot of them. It has definitely affected maturity in a lot of cases.

My ds is the same too. No drama just helpful and polite young man