Feeling anxious — regret about sharing private photos/videos

[KellyR1]

Hi everyone,
I’m posting here because I’ve been feeling really anxious and I don’t know who else to talk to.

I’m currently seeing a guy, and I shared some private/intimate photos with him. He told me that it really turns him on, and he’s been sending me things as well. We were together last night, and he filmed us — and now I can’t stop thinking about the fact that he has all these photos and videos.

With my ex, I was comfortable with that kind of thing, but I realise now I don’t know this new guy well enough, and I should have said no. I feel like I crossed a boundary that didn’t feel right for me.

He hasn’t threatened me or done anything with the content, but just knowing it exists — and that he could share it one day — is making me feel sick with worry. I barely slept last night thinking about it. I texted him and told him I was feeling really anxious and asked him to delete the ones where my face is visible… but I haven’t had a reply yet.

I just want my peace of mind back.

Has anyone been through something like this? How did you handle it? I’d really appreciate any advice, thoughts, or just someone to listen.

Thank you!

OP PLEASE stop worrying! Even if he did share them (a crime) and they were out there for all the world to see, this will not impact your life in any way or make you undateable etc! Only someone with a weird purity hang up would care and honestly you don’t want to be with a guy like that anyway. Please see the numerous leaked celebrity sex videos to see that you can still date again even if something like this is published! And you’re not a celebrity so even if it got out there on some random website the chances of it being linked to you are very small. And if it was, you would be the victim of a CRIME and not have anything to be ashamed about.

Lots of us share nudes and sexual content with our partners. Ultimately, it’s usually men that break this trust by sharing online - and you can’t always know if you can trust your partner. Women aren’t to blame here but we need to protect ourselves by being really careful.

can you stop catastrophising and try to put this behind you….. Talk to your therapist and formulate a strategy of looking at this realistically. Yes, these images are out there, yes he may share them with ‘friends’, but he’d be very stupidly to put them up on a public platform in a form where you might be identifiable as this is a criminal offense AFAIK.

Keep working with your therapist to process the whole experience and find ways of strengthening your confidence and self-worth. Above all else, find a way of seeing yourself as a strong person who doesn’t need a man to feel complete and who doesn’t accept shit from anyone.

And look into doing the Freedom Programme, and read The Six Pillars of Self Esteem.

Thank you all for helping ease my anxiety and reminding me that it’s not the end of the world. I really appreciate your support ❤️

So, I’d now tell him that his ‘joke’ about putting them online one day really shows he isn’t getting the message about the seriousness of this. Check what the law is in your area and say, ‘You don’t seem to be taking this very seriously. You don’t have my consent and because you’re making comments about sharing them, bear in mind that the law is (quote / link). Can you confirm that these haven’t been shared and that you’ve deleted them?’

And if they ever see the light of day, AI did it…

Try not to panic!!!!! I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to share any content with anyone outside of the video/images. Your only human and got caught in the moment. I’ve done it. Nothing came of it and to be honest I’ve forgotten about things I’ve done in the past.
have you heard anything from him? He may lie and say all deleted which I’m pretty sure will happen. Just learn from it and don’t do it again until you’re with someone you 100000% trust.

Christ my husband has photos of my tits on his work phone…. 😂

If I were you, I'd now send him a message along the lines of:

'I've now taken legal advice on this, and I'm told that any sharing of the images or the video would be a crime. If any are shared with anybody, l won't hesitate to take legal action.'

Scare him a bit. That in turn will give you greater peace of mind.

In the meantime, see it as a valuable learning experience, and find a good friend to talk it through with.

See oviraptor’s advice above . Love x

He hasn’t texted me, just reacted to a few of my stories. I saw my therapist and we talked things through. She believes there’s very little chance anything bad will happen, and that I don’t need to be worried right now.
We also discussed what I can do if anything ever does happen — so I know I wouldn’t just sit back and let it slide. That gave me some peace of mind.

Thank you all again for being here. ❤️

Well done for opening up to your therapist. Glad you've got peace of mind now. Take care.