I need some thoughts on the split of task in our house if that's ok? I am feeling resentful and taken for granted but he very much does not see my point of view and thinks I have it easy. This is obviously my take on things. He might say differently but this is how it looks to me.
I am solely responsible for all bills, having them in my name, paying them, knowing how much they are, when they come out, what we owe etc. he gives me money when he has it which is not often. if things are tight I sell stuff or borrow and deal with it.
He cooks most meals for the kids as I have issues around food. But I am not included in most of the meal plans. He would say I don't want to be. Unless I pressure they only get fed when he is hungry, so if he has a big lunch out no one would get dinner without me mentioning it.
I do all life admin, all kids school stuff, all parents eves, all parties, all presents etc.
I work long full time hours and my job funds our lifestyle. He is self employed and often finishes at 3 (while we are all out) comes home and plays computer games. But if I ask him to have a day off as a child is unwell I am putting pressure on him with work being unfair, if he doesn't work he doesn't get paid etc.
he has multiple solo holidays a year, as well as weekends out and time to himself. I have not had child and him free time since they were born.
he does do a lot of work in the garden. Mows lawns etc.
washing and tidying and cleaning is on me.
he does discipline kids but is quite lazy with it. As an eg Child (9) was kicking off about not wanting sun cream on while on holiday (30+ degrees) and after arguing simply said fine if you don't want it your mother can deal with you. Similarly makes lots of unsustainable threats - no screen time at all for extended periods, no dinner and then doesn't follow through. Shouts to get his point across.
they have way too much screen time when he is in charge. Can be 5+ hours playing on iPads. I suggest going out somewhere every day but he is not keen at all and won't unless I really push it.
when 3 yr old wets puts him straight back into a nappy rather than persevering even though he is toilet trained and can do it just a bit lazy forgetful sometimes.
only does their teeth, brushes hair with me reminding.
does enjoy spending time with them. Will play with them, plant sunflowers - general dad stuff.
So does this sound reasonable? I am physically and mentally drained. We do have other stuff going on but wanted thoughts on this.