Do I wait around?

[ThisPithyCat]

A guy I like and have been talking to has been weird these last few weeks. It came on out of nowhere, and I messaged asking was he ok. Later that day we met up and I asked again, as he seemed off. When we were leaving he said he'd text me later and never did.

He then ignored me for a week. Fast forward, I reached out and he wasn't giving me any real reason as to why. Just a lot of meaningless sorry's, no real meaning behind his words.

I didn't reach out for a few days and got in touch and he was dry in his responses. I left it. Reached out again last Thursday and asked to see him (though I knew he was working, I figured we could have lunch as he usually has his break near where I work) (this is how we met), he said he "wouldn't be around "place of work" for 2 weeks, sorry" I replied and said I won't be reaching out again, and he can if he decides, but I'm not putting any more energy into it. He said "same here, still want to talk to you" I replied then come back when you want to and he said thank you.

I feel exhausted and drained from this because it has literally come out of nowhere. Before this we'd see each other all the time and text every day. He began to seem off then ignored me for a week and didn't tell me why, and then when I told him to "come back" he said thank you??? It's so bizarre. Next week it will be a month since this whole thing started and I feel if he doesn't reach out then he never will. I don't think I can again without feeling like more of a fool but I like him and would like an answer for why this is happening. I also fear he's found someone else

Please grab your dignity and leave him well alone. Block as you wish.
A man who is truly interested in you will make every effort to reply and spend time with you. Please dont waste time on this man, he isnt worth your effort. Go and find someone who is.

No. A time wasting commitment phone. Move on. Something this new shouldn’t be this hard.

I don't really know what's going on but it seems to be some bloke messing you around.

If someone is blowing hot and cold, they're not interested. When someone is interested in you, you'll know.

They'll be in regular contact, they'll want to see you and won't suddenly disappear. Value yourself and move on.

Stop chasing a man who clearly isn’t interested.

Spot on

if he wants to speak to or see you he will. honestly block and leave it.

He said he would text and didn’t.
That is where this should have ended.

Do not continue speaking to him in any way, even if he bothers chatting with you, and do not allow him to return.

He has no respect or consideration for you. Have some for yourself by not engaging with or allowing this to continue.

If a man isn't as invested in you as you are in them, then just move on. It doesn't matter how attracted you are to them or what your initial infatuation is. His personality sucks and longer term you'd eventually loathe him because of this once the infatuation fades, so don't waste your time on pursuing a relationship with someone like this when you see it so early on.

Stop chasing and stop waiting, remember he would call if he wanted to, he’s not seriously into you if he’s there one week and you don’t hear for ages after. I think your fears are correct, guys like this are normally players, not completely gone, but only interested inbetween seeing others and whoever’s begging them the most.

Honestly nothing is more off putting and desperate than someone not taking no for an answer and accepting crumbs. You have good intentions and feelings but it’s wasted on him. Instead of pining after him, decide you are worth more, erase him from your phone and mentally bin him.

Not worth the emotional effort. And don’t leave the door open for him, the same will happen again! You’ll never know what’s really going on, so try not to even think about it. Lock away in the drawer labelled ‘kind of weird, not right’.

Please read the caption on @lalalalaletmeexplain post on instagram from 1 day ago that says “no one is busier than a man that doesn’t want you” then block delete and move on

He’s not that into you

It's so upsetting when this happens and I can imagine you're spending a lot of time trying to fill in the blanks as to why it's happened. The problem with that is quite often we fill that "why" mystery with "it must be something about me". But it isn't. So the best thing you can do right now is grieve it but know your self worth and look elsewhere. Someone out there right now is waiting for someone like you and will treat you more respectfully.

Good grief… why did you keep contacting him again and again?! He’s clearly not interested. Block him.

If he liked you, you'd know.

If you feel confused, he doesn't

You absolutely don't wait, he will be back but only because he's lonely or horny

I read a phrase once which stayed with me. A man shouldn't be on the fence about you, he should be jumping fences to be with you.

This guy couldn't show you more that he's not interested. Keep your dignity intact and move on. I wouldn't give him the time of day if he crawled back at a later date.

FFS! he's not interested, and he's too much of a wet lettuce to come out with the words. Drop and block.

Don't be his back up plan or let him breadcrumb you.

Block and forget him.
Sorry it dudnt work out,

Urgh, if I had a pound for every time a bloke has gone cold/AWOL on me over the years, I’d be minted.

If he was interested, he’d make the effort to contact you.

If he genuinely had something going on his life and didn’t want to lose you whilst he dealt with it, he’d be honest with you about what was going on.

The more you reach out, the more it tells him that you’ll accept less than the bare minimum. Stop chasing him.

If it’s only been a short while, then my money is on him also chatting to some other woman and you’re just one of the options he was exploring and his interest has now shifted elsewhere.

Whatever the reason he’s gone cold, he really isn’t worth chasing after or waiting around for. He’s not shown you any respect and doesn’t have the backbone to end things, so he waited until you did. Block his number, forget about him and save your dignity.

@ThisPithyCat unfortunately you will come across as desperate if you reach out yet again especially as you told him the ball was now in his court. The ‘thank you’ from him honestly to me just sounds like relief that you finally get it and will be leaving him alone. A lot of people generally just let something die without an explanation when they’ve met someone else or possibly if they’re struggling with some internal issue which they dont care to share. Either way sorry to be brutal but he doesn’t want you. Try not to care, accept this is the world of dating and move on. He was just another 🐸 you had to kiss.

I’m afraid i think there’s something or someone else in his life. You have given him more than enough of your time and attention. Time to find someone new.

If he was keen on you, you wouldn't have to chase him or wait for him to remember your existence.

Surely you deserve better than some bloke who can't really be arsed?

Stop wasting your time.

Even if he were to contact you now you shown him how low your barrier is and he’ll do it again and again.

delete his number and block him - when there’s no way of contacting him or knowing if he’s tried you’ll stop obsessing and move on.

you can’t move on whilst the option is still there

He said "Thank you" because you sort of offered to wait around until he was ready to communicate again.
Sadly he's made you into the back up plan.
Some people get a real kick out of thinking they can put someone on a string and pull them back time and time again.
They increase their confidence at the expense of yours. And he's already eroded your confidence and well being enough.

Don't play his game. Bin