Do I wait around?

[ThisPithyCat]

A guy I like and have been talking to has been weird these last few weeks. It came on out of nowhere, and I messaged asking was he ok. Later that day we met up and I asked again, as he seemed off. When we were leaving he said he'd text me later and never did.

He then ignored me for a week. Fast forward, I reached out and he wasn't giving me any real reason as to why. Just a lot of meaningless sorry's, no real meaning behind his words.

I didn't reach out for a few days and got in touch and he was dry in his responses. I left it. Reached out again last Thursday and asked to see him (though I knew he was working, I figured we could have lunch as he usually has his break near where I work) (this is how we met), he said he "wouldn't be around "place of work" for 2 weeks, sorry" I replied and said I won't be reaching out again, and he can if he decides, but I'm not putting any more energy into it. He said "same here, still want to talk to you" I replied then come back when you want to and he said thank you.

I feel exhausted and drained from this because it has literally come out of nowhere. Before this we'd see each other all the time and text every day. He began to seem off then ignored me for a week and didn't tell me why, and then when I told him to "come back" he said thank you??? It's so bizarre. Next week it will be a month since this whole thing started and I feel if he doesn't reach out then he never will. I don't think I can again without feeling like more of a fool but I like him and would like an answer for why this is happening. I also fear he's found someone else

Kindly this, OP. You clearly really liked the guy, but you have given him way too much rope and tolerated way too much crap. Please know your worth, let him go, and move on.

Unless, he gives some really decent genuine explanation, and has worked on the issue since too, IF he returns I really wouldn’t be entertaining the idea of him again either. And IF I did, he’d be on a very short rope (as in strikes before I called it a day).

He’s shown you a side of him. It had obviously come as a surprise, out of the blue, which is why you’ve tried so hard to make sense of it, but this is his issue, don’t make it yours.

I would bet my last pound he has met someone else but is offering you a couple of crumbs so he has a back up if that doesn’t go anywhere.

Block this one and move on with your life. You need to work on your self esteem before you date again though, I am saying this kindly as someone who has been there.

Stop investing in a man who isn’t interested. If he was, his actions would show it very clearly.

Red flags straight away, imagine a relationship where you are driving it. He is not as interested. I had this happen once and the next guy I met after him could not be more different.

Pick up your dignity and block this guy and move on.

Please seek therapy; this reaction isn't normal. Once someone ignores you multiple times, you should delete their number and move on. It is abnormal to constantly reach out and be rejected.

Ugh, I had a man do this once. He was having some anxiety issues, and was open about it, so I thought I was doing a kind thing by checking in with him if he went silent for a few days - perhaps he was overwhelmed, needed space, etc. Some of that was true, tbf, but after a couple of months I realised I was doing everything, and as much as I felt sympathy for him, knew I’d be doing that the whole relationship.

Best thing to do is block, otherwise you’d be tempted to reply when he does slither out.

This makes me so angry, I’ve come across men like this and is so immature and unacceptable .
Never ever message him again , he’s a fool . And you’re being one for putting up with this. If he makes life this weird and confusing, he is an avoidant and no good for you. No relationship should make you feel anxious, wondering what’s going on or confused .
I had only three dates with someone once and when I wasn’t feeling it anymore I kindly let them know,, as an adult and a decent human he should do the same . Tell him to do one if he ever gets back in touch with you.

Sounds like he's got the ick or he's hooked up with someone else, or his wife has found out.

He is very clearly no longer interested and you need to let it go. I'd remove all his contact details from everywhere and block him.

Write this one off.
Don't keep hoping. He's not really interested.
He will use you if you let him though, so don't let him.
Remind yourself of your value.

Right, you've gone above and beyond to give him a chance to connect and he hasn't so move on.
If it turns out something is going on with his life right now, you will find out at some point.

I’d say he was never particularly very committed… it doesn’t matter his reasons why, don’t waste anymore time or energy wracking your brains as to why he’s pulled away, just except that he has and that he’s a rude person for treating you so badly! He didn’t have the balls to finish things so went about it the way he did, hoping you’d just call it a day … In his eyes you’ve done that. It’s over!
Delete and block!