Mum wants to sue me for defamation?

[ThatDenimExpert]

I have been talking to people, mainly professionals, to deal with my childhood abuse. My mother is adamant that she didn’t abuse me, and doesn’t know where my memories have come from, and has told me that if I tell anyone, she will sue me for defamation. I currently don’t have proof, but am currently in the process of applying to obtain my school, medical, and children’s social service involvement records from childhood. There’s likely to be missing evidence because it’s historical but I’m hoping there will still be something. Can she sue me if I tell people and don’t have evidence or can’t obtain it?

Who do you want to tell?

Honestly I would just focus on your own healing, this doesn't sound like a battle you need to engage in. Setting boundaries with someone who has abused you as a child doesn't have to be an external game.

Seems she has confirmed she is bloody awful. Block her and ignore..

You can tell people what you like. She definitely sounds abusive - don’t think you need the records - her response says it all

Well, it sounds like she's confirmed it really, doesn't it.

You don't actually have to have a relationship with her, if you dont want to.

I have been having therapy. I have bought books and am doing self work. she has seen the books on my shelf. She is mainly worried about me telling anyone in the community who could then spread the information about her as it would affect her life and she would have to move. But she is also worried about any stressful proceedings that may happen against her. She said she would fight me, I have no proof and am a liar. She won’t take accountability for the past, even though apart from that, she is trying her best to have a positive relationship with me now which I don’t want to ruin. the abuse has impacted my life significantly, and I’m not in a position to deal with it alone.
She has the money to take me to court but I don’t actually have anything for her to take. I want to know if she can actually sue me for defamation if I don’t have concrete evidence due to lost or destroyed records

It costs a lot of money to sue someone and she would need a lawyer willing to take her case. It would only go to court if there was some form of evidence

there needs to be proof and neither of you have proof
you can’t prove she has abused you
she can’t prove she didn’t

so how could any court award damages
and as you say you have nothing of value to give her

id go NC for the threat as that’s cunty enough to get rid of her out if your life

Are you planning on going to the police ?

1. Has she got the money to sue?
2. Are you good for it, if she succeeds?

Edited to say I see you've already said you don't havething to give her and hopefully you've included any equity in your house or any pension when you say this.

Is so, then let her crack on. You can only sue someone if they're good for it.

You don’t have to have a relationship with her. She won’t sue you.

She can try sue you for defamation but she will not succeed.

There is a burden of proof on her to show you have caused her serious harm with something that is untrue.

The key point here is you have not published the allegations anywhere. And your audience is a therapist presumably. She sounds nuts.

This all sorts of wrong OP, can’t you see she’s still abusing you? Even now, under the guise of a better relationship when it’s not. She’s gaslighting you rather than validating your experience.

From what I remember about about defamation, the first thing she would need to establish is that she had suffered a quantifiable financial loss as a result of your "slander". That's just the starting point. Is she a professional who is likely to lose her job/ money as a result of any allegations you make?

Hmmm, somebody has got something to hide and is worried about being exposed

Best of luck on your journey to healing. I hope it brings you freedom and happiness to enjoy life xx

Defamation applies to the written word, slander to the spoken so on that basis alone, no.

Presumably though you do not need to disclose the reason for seeking access to your records.

If its true then its not deformation.

In the UK, the burden of proof would be on her for deformation. Let her crack on, I really wouldn’t worry.

Well not deformation 🤣

But in defamation cases you must be able to prove something is true, the claimant does not need to prove it false. But unless the OP intends to publish this defamation does not apply.

If we were financially well off when I was a child and I had a lot of possessions and experiences, are they going to favour her because of it? Can she use that to prove that she wasn’t abusive?

@ThatDenimExpert on the basis that most people who have replied to you so far don't even know what defamation is, you are not going to get answers to this - and given this is all theoretical it's impossible anyway.

If you disclose something to your therapist it is covered by client confidentiality. If you request your records, you simply need to do that, not included your back story.

If you start writing a blog or book about it only then do you need to worry about defamation.

Slander is a different law.

No. Rich people can be abusive.

You can't just sue for defamation because someone said something. You need to be able to prove that you are at a loss because of the alleged defamation. She has no case.

@ThatDenimExpert don't worry.

This should set your mind to rest

"To succeed, you must prove that the statement was false, caused serious harm to your reputation, and was communicated to a third party.

Under UK law, opinions and truthful statements are generally not considered defamatory"

I really don’t understand this. Unless you plan to publish any of this ? She can not sue you for buying self help books or talking to a therapist and any therapist worse their salt doesn’t divulge confidential information .

Having books on your bookshelf in your own home and talking to a therapist (who is bound by confidentiality rules and laws) is not defamation.