‘Partner’ rather than ‘Boyfriend’

[woodlandwonder1]

I have been with my man for over 15 years.

For the last 10 years I have always referred to him as my ‘partner’ rather than ‘boyfriend’ as I find saying boyfriend makes me feel like I’m in a high school relationship!

Someone I work with recently were surprised to learn we are not married as ‘I always referred to him as my partner - not boyfriend’!

Now I’m curious to know - Am I alone here?!

Really dislike partner: it could mean anything from husband/wife to boyfriend/girlfriend to business relationship

For some people this is entirely the purpose. It's a deliberately ambiguous word which is a bit more concise than "significant other", but it's used to indicate that there is, indeed, a significant other while also saying nothing else beyond that about the person themselves, or the nature of their relationship, their perceived sexuality, and so on.

Why people think that we have to use terms that do divulge some of this information I do not know. It simply isn't relevant, it's not your business, and people have a tendency to draw completely incorrect conclusions in any case.

I still laugh about the time I overheard two colleagues discussing how I'd "come out as a lesbian" because they found out I had entered into a relationship with a woman.

Husband- husband.
partner- means the same as significant other and you share a life but aren’t married. So things like you may have children together, share finances, live together.
boyfriend - less serious than partner. You might not live together. You don’t share finances. You might love each other and go on holidays etc but you don’t live together or share finances.

I have a boyfriend which means I don’t have anyone to share bills with.

If someone said partner or boyfriend I would assume they just weren’t married.

I'm not keen on partner, it sounds very dry. I prefer boyfriend at least it sounds like you probably have fun shagging

Don't get me started on my other half or hubby 😝

I like partner and use it. We're not married - I asked him, he said no, all fine - but we live together, pay bills etc. But I like the ambiguity of it. To me it means 'this is someone who is very important to me' and the exact nature of what that means to us is private. Also agree that I like that it's sex-neutral too.

To me, partner is a much more serious relationship than boyfriend. Been together several years, joint responsibilities. Not married.

I feel exactly the same way!!

Before we were married we called each other partner. It seems juvenile to be saying bf/gf when you are over 30.

That’s the whole point for some people, partner doesn’t indicate whether engaged, married, boyfriend.

To me partner means someone you are in a committed relationship with but aren’t married, usually living together or if not you are sharing your lives for the long term though for practical reasons live apart. I wouldn’t use the term if you aren’t committed

To me partner means someone you are in a committed relationship with but aren’t married, usually living together or if not you are sharing your lives for the long term though for practical reasons live apart. I wouldn’t use the term if you aren’t committed

I use partner (been together 20 years). If we decide to get married at some point I’ll still use partner as my marital status is no one’s business.

Years ago I tried to book a B&B in a rural location over the phone. All fine, space available etc right until near the end of the call when I mentioned what time I and my partner would get there. Suddenly the room was no longer available and the woman started being quite rude. I can only assume that she thought ‘partner’ referred to a same sex relationship and was homophobic. I hadn’t realised before this that people make that assumption, but just as well as we wouldn’t want to give her our money anyway

Boyfriend sounds a bit like high school partner is more mature sounding but it doesn't automatically mean married

I use partner because we share a house and bills. He was my boyfriend before this.

What if you don’t live together but have been together long term? As in several years?

Of course there can be confusion, I had a business partner, who I was in no way in a romantic relationship with, but often called my partner in a business sense.

If you were married he'd be your husband, not your partner. Partner is the perfectly correct term for a longstanding but not married relationship, surely.

I struggle with what to call my newish man in our 50s. He's not my partner, but he's certainly not a boyfriend 😂

I mean, I literally said that in the post you quoted -
Possibly whom you have a long term relationship with but have chosen to maintain separate properties

Your husband can be your partner, they aren’t mutually exclusive.

Most people in the OPs shoes would use partner. Not an expression I like, but even so, would understand it usually meant a couple who live together and are not married.

I think partner is a new-ish term. I certainly never heard it before 2010. But I really don’t like using “in-laws” when you’re not married.

I’ve said “partner” for nearly 40 years. Nobody has ever assumed I was married-they wouldn’t dare!

Out of curiosity-why not? And what’s the proper term?

I'm not sure what your colleague is on about, partner means unmarried! Personally, I've always said partner. I feel a bit silly saying boyfriend like a teenager.