Boyfriend of 6 months takes hours to reply to messages (never used to). Is this normal?

[complicated789]

Is it normal for messaging to slow down after a while?? He’ll go on WhatsApp and not even open my message for hours. I think it’s until he has a chance to talk to me properly. But then I keep thinking it only takes 2 mins to reply. Am I being over sensitive because his lack of communication is making me feel like I’m not a priority anymore. He used to reply so much quicker.

Yep I’ve got all my settings as private so no one knows when I’m online and if I’ve read their message,

I would think after 6 months, the relationship moved into a more settled phase and things will calm down into a routine.

The fact so many presume he must be messaging another woman shows how much overthinking that the need for instant communication causes.

If everything about the relationship is good OP then why worry?

He is now though. 🫣

Well something has changed. It could be

He's lost interest.
Somebody else is distracting him.
Something else is consuming all his time.
He's feeling very happy secure and comfortable in the relationship.

How is everything else?

That seems like a bit of a reach to me, there isn’t enough info to jump to that conclusion.

Of course we meet up, but not every day. We never speak on the phone. We text multiple times a day, less so if we’re with friends or busy.

Ignore those - they post like that deliberately to wind you up.

It’s normal for messaging to tail off. My DH never even responds to any message I send anymore. As long as it’s all normal when he’s with you, and he’s still seeing you as normal, that’s all that matters, in my view.

Sorry but way overthinking I can take days to reply to my hubby lol I will quickly read it then totally forget to reply until a few days later and by then there's usually a few more messages added on

It’s one of 2 things , either he’s less interested in you than before or the flush of new relationship has gone and he’s returning to his preferred style of communication.
Either way , I would back off the frequency of your texts and be aware that he may have gone off the boil. Sorry

Def just ask him!! It could be nothing or could be he’s not bothered anymore.

to be honest I fish the constant messaging so tedious after the initial weeks of getting to know each other. Maybe it’s just entered a new phase?? Either way communication is importantt and if u like messaging more then u might not be suited

Oh the "my husband never replies anymore" replies annoy me. It's not the same thing!

You live together. You can say "oi dipshit I messaged you and you never replied" 😬🤪 when he walks in the door. You have a long established relationship. You're (hopefully) confident he's still interested in being with you and he's going to find it a lot harder to just ghost you, isn't he? 😂

It's far removed from a new relationship of 6 months where they don't live together.

Or maybe after six months of pointless texts his had enough pretending to care I hate pointless texts too it sounds like his over being polite and is now not answering

If your boyfriend is over being polite to you, then I don't think the relationship is worth a candle.

If he has found the level of messaging too much, he should say so, not leave her hanging. 🙄

Lol, people are their own worst enemy.

Lots of MN frequently say they don't want to feel swamped and wouldn't want a guy messaging them frequently, and now there's a guy who messages casually, "oh he must be cheating... "he's not into you..."

So you went straight from a long relationship into another committed relationship?

I can see my messages without opening them. If it's an urgent message I always open and respond straight away. If it's just a normal chatty message I tend to leave it until I have time to chat.
I don't always have my phone beside me and so people don't expect an immediate response from me anyway and therefore don't get offended or worried if I don't reply.

How is he with you in person OP? I am an anxious person and can find myself reading things into messages or lack thereof and making up stories in my head that are not based in reality. How he is when you spend time together will give you a better indication of his feelings.

My DH can take eons to reply to messages. And I’m married to him. He’s just not great with reading and responding to texts. Doesn’t do social media either. People have lives. This expectation of instant responses to messages is both ridiculous and suffocating.

You say that you're fresh out of a 15-year relationship and that you're feeling anxious. Possibly you jumped into this one too quickly without giving yourself time to heal from the last one.

Don't you think he takes ages to reply precisely because you're married?! He'll see you when he gets back from work or wherever he is, so you guys can talk about whatever it is then.

It's not remotely the same as being 6 months into a relationship where you don't live together and communication is more of an effort. 🙇

This is what I do with Whatsapps. I'll get a message, read it from the notification, see that it doesn't need a response and so job done. As far as the other person is concerned I've not read it because I've not actually clicked into it.

I don't really do having conversations via messaging. Its a pain in the arse, it's stilted, and it splits your focus between the conversation and what you're trying to get on with. I'd much rather talk to you in person or have a conversation on the phone. The only time I really bother with texting is if theres something to organise. "Pub tonight?" "Sounds good". "8pm?" "Sorted".

DP, my family and friends all know this, so don't tend to do messaging unless its to organise something, and we catch up properly when there's time to have a conversation.

The only time I've ever really done conversations via messaging is in the very early days of dating. You know, when you're so utterly infatuated that you just want to talk to the other person all the time, no matter what else you're doing. And when every message is a sign that makes your heart soar, that she still likes me! By about 3 months in though there always ends up being a conversation where I outline that I'm not really a share my day by text kind of a person, and I'd much rather hear all about it when we see each other tonight.