Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sometimes, being married with little children is so lonely

105 replies

somebodydid · 10/05/2025 08:29

I feel so fed up today. Two things in our house malfunctioned in the week so the entire weekend will be spent with DH fixing them, going to the DIY store to buy replacement parts for them and complaining about them.

Meanwhile my weekend will look like the week with sole responsibility for two under 4s.

I know as they grow and eventually become teens I’ll be able to do stuff for me again. But right now I can’t and it’s so frustrating.

OP posts:
Odras · 13/05/2025 01:17

I totally relate, my DH was always doing the garden, preferring to do the weekly shop. Basically do anything except mind the kids when they were small. When I came home from the hospital with number 3 after a traumatic emergency c-section he was out trimming the hedge immediately because it was urgent apparently.

The situation has changed had they grew older though. I have nearly forgotten about how annoying it was. I enjoyed having babies- he basically hated that time in our lives. Now we loves having older kids and is a completely present parent.

I do wish now looking back that I had kicked up more of a fuss at the time.

Plumedenom · 13/05/2025 06:36

WeaselsRising · 10/05/2025 09:04

It will get better.

Honestly I can remember that same feeling of desperation when my eldest were the same age. I solved it by going back to work. Best thing I ever did.

I solved the problem of this feeling by returning to work too. I think it's a really worthy job staying at home with little ones, but not if it's making you feel so down. Please do consider going to work even if it costs you a bit of money. Being a SAHM is not for everyone and the years dragged for me.

Plumedenom · 13/05/2025 06:42

Oops just read you work three days. I'm sorry it does sound unfair that you get no time at all for you.

Bumblebeestiltskin · 13/05/2025 07:05

somebodydid · 10/05/2025 20:46

It’s completely shit because I am exhausted and get no time to do essential things, never mind non essential.

My week looks like this:

Monday - wake at 6, get myself showered and dressed. Get children washed, teeth brushed, dressed and off to nursery. Work. Leave work, get them from nursery. Evening snacks and squabbles and eventually in bed. DD (age 22 months) generally down for half seven but we can have a few false alarms. I usually get DS down for 8. I then have maybe two hours in which to run round and tidy and clean a bit. Get woken at least once overnight by DD, often more.

I have Tuesdays and Wednesdays off. Have the children all day as you’d expect. So no rushing around for work and nursery, on the other hand it’s a lot more intense.

Thursday and Friday look like Monday.

Then comes the weekend and guess what … looks like Tuesday and Wednesday.

It isn’t the children personally. But I am solely responsible for their entertainment, their hygiene, food, drink, nappies (DD) and so on. It’s exhausting and I guess I do want a bit of time for me as well.

It sounds relentless and I'd feel the same as you. You mentioned you've considered divorce - if you're not happy, what's stopping you? He'd have to step up more then (my daughter is 8, I split up with her dad when she was 3, and we've done 50/50 care since she was 4ish)

category12 · 13/05/2025 13:02

I read your post and thought wow Id love one of those handy husbands...

It's not good though if it's doing anything but childcare or anything but what OP actually needs.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page