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Original poster

Partner threw away my purse containing sentimental jewellery.

57 replies

leilall · 06/05/2025 05:06

Really upset with my partner, am I overreacting?
last week, I went on a family day out. I sit in the back usually with my toddler if it’s a long drive. And had placed the purse in the passenger seat pocket of the seat.

I usually have 2 purses (a card holder and a coin purse, receipts etc). In the back of the purse pocket contained a 23 year old, gold necklace, gifted by my father. I placed it in there as I needed the latch fixing. And planned to take it to a jewellery shop.

Anyway my partner decided to throw the purse away when finding it. Containing my necklace. His excuse was he thought it may have belonged to the previous owner of the car, as it didn’t have cards in. (he has had the car over a year) so my response was ‘why didn’t you just text me and ask just to confirm’ anyway we spent an hour driving around the place he dumped my purse.
And then he proceeded to apologise and transfer me £1000. I don’t know the value exactly as Iv had it for decades. But it was sentimental, I cannot just replace it. I have looked online cannot find it.
i actually cried when I found out (i’m heavy pregnant, emotional) but I’m just pissed with the lack of carelessness. Do I just let it go now? How would you act?

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 06/05/2025 05:12

I wouldn't believe him. Surely most people wouldn"t throw away a purse they found in their car without carefully checking the contents and contacting potential owners. This sounds very strange.

Darkambergingerlily · 06/05/2025 05:18

Sounds weird rash behaviour

B1indEye · 06/05/2025 05:20

What do you mean by driving round the place he dumped it? Did he literally throw it out of the car?

That's quite unusual behaviour if so

CrocsNotDocs · 06/05/2025 05:34

Has he cashed the necklace in at one of those gold places?

FortyElephants · 06/05/2025 05:36

What the fuck is wrong with him!?

ManyATrueWord · 06/05/2025 05:37

He stole the necklace. Sorry.

oakl79 · 06/05/2025 05:39

B1indEye · 06/05/2025 05:20

What do you mean by driving round the place he dumped it? Did he literally throw it out of the car?

That's quite unusual behaviour if so

This^

saltnvinegarhulahoops · 06/05/2025 05:41

Weirder option (hopefully unlikely). Knew a guy years ago who was cheating on his gf and was almost found out through a left behind necklace. Is there anyone that he shouldn’t have had in the car that he’s worried about?

Prettypennies · 06/05/2025 05:53

saltnvinegarhulahoops · 06/05/2025 05:41

Weirder option (hopefully unlikely). Knew a guy years ago who was cheating on his gf and was almost found out through a left behind necklace. Is there anyone that he shouldn’t have had in the car that he’s worried about?

That’s an interesting take on it and sounds like it could be a reason he panicked and chucked it out? Hopefully that is not the reason.. otherwise he was very careless to just chuck out a purse without checking with you.

B1indEye · 06/05/2025 05:55

Another question

If he thought he belonged to the previous owner he's saying he'd never looked in that place before now so what made him decide to do it?

His story needs more explanation

CharlieAndMoose · 06/05/2025 06:07

Either he's been unfaithful, found a purse with no identifying features and panicked thinking it belongs to the OW. Or he knew it was your necklace but stole and pawned it, suggesting there may be another underlying issue (eg a hidden debt). Either way I wouldn't trust this explanation at all.

urbanbuddha · 06/05/2025 06:08

He's given you more than the monetary value of the necklace and is obviously sorry. If you've no other reason to speculate about another woman I wouldn't.
Can you choose another necklace that reminds you of your father, maybe links him to the baby in some way. It's so sad to lose something precious but it happens and ultimately it was just a thing. It represented your relationship with your father but no-one's hurt and you can choose something else to remind you of yout father.

CrownCoats · 06/05/2025 06:10

Where did he chuck it? I don’t understand how you could spend an hour driving around looking for it. Don’t most people dispose of things in the bin?

Shoxfordian · 06/05/2025 06:15

Why did he just chuck it out the car? It sounds like he sold it or something
Didn't he know it was your necklace your dad gave you? Doesn't really make sense

Wholikesbreadandhoney · 06/05/2025 06:41

I agree that none of this makes sense.

How did he come to find the purse in the first place? He would need to have been in the back of the car and that really does raise the possibility of being in there with someone else.

Ans even then just throwing the purse out the window doesn't make sense unless it was total panic because he suspected it belonged to someone else.

Whatever the explanation it doesn't make sense. And to immediately transfer you £1000 is quite frankly amazing to me, unless that amount of money is relatively insignificant to him.

I would be really going over in my mind what his behaviour has been like recently to think if anything doesn't add up . Because this whole thing is really suspicious and there are possibly other signs that something isn't right.

healthybychristmas · 06/05/2025 06:47

My first thought was that he thought it belonged to someone that shouldn't have been in the car. Who the hell throws away a purse and jewellery, especially from a place where his partner sits?

TeenyTotAndTiny · 06/05/2025 06:49

Sounds dodgy, I wouldn’t trust him. He’s either had another woman in the car or it was worth more than you thought and he’s pawned it. He was very quick to give you a £1000

RoadtoVima · 06/05/2025 06:50

This is an odd story.

So you have a second purse that you use to house an old necklace. You took this with you on a road trip where your DP found it and threw it away, obviously not recognising this second purse of yours that contains something very special to you...

He then transfers 1000 to make up for this loss, excusing himself by saying he thought it belonged to previous owner, again, failing to recognise this second purse of yours.

Strange.

TheChosenTwo · 06/05/2025 06:53

Just echoing pretty much everyone else on the thread to say this doesn’t make sense.
Why would he just throw it, where has he thrown it to take an hour driving around lookin for it, was it a purse he had never seen before, what was the basis of transferring you £1k? Honestly the whole thing just seems really odd.

HariboFan5367 · 06/05/2025 07:10

What made him suddenly look in there? He is a liar

He may have found it and sold it for drug money or something. WATCH carefully for him finding a way to get this money back soon. Either through a bill payment he usually makes and asks you to suddenly cover or some other fake reason

Or he is just being spiteful and knew what he was doing

librathroughandthrough · 06/05/2025 07:14

Everyone saying he sold it for drugs, debts - why would he then transfer £1000?

HariboFan5367 · 06/05/2025 07:18

librathroughandthrough · 06/05/2025 07:14

Everyone saying he sold it for drugs, debts - why would he then transfer £1000?

He will find a way to reclaim it later from OP and make it look genuine or innocent. Maybe he does other things like this with OP, or relies on her for money in other ways

Plumedenom · 06/05/2025 07:18

leilall · 06/05/2025 05:06

Really upset with my partner, am I overreacting?
last week, I went on a family day out. I sit in the back usually with my toddler if it’s a long drive. And had placed the purse in the passenger seat pocket of the seat.

I usually have 2 purses (a card holder and a coin purse, receipts etc). In the back of the purse pocket contained a 23 year old, gold necklace, gifted by my father. I placed it in there as I needed the latch fixing. And planned to take it to a jewellery shop.

Anyway my partner decided to throw the purse away when finding it. Containing my necklace. His excuse was he thought it may have belonged to the previous owner of the car, as it didn’t have cards in. (he has had the car over a year) so my response was ‘why didn’t you just text me and ask just to confirm’ anyway we spent an hour driving around the place he dumped my purse.
And then he proceeded to apologise and transfer me £1000. I don’t know the value exactly as Iv had it for decades. But it was sentimental, I cannot just replace it. I have looked online cannot find it.
i actually cried when I found out (i’m heavy pregnant, emotional) but I’m just pissed with the lack of carelessness. Do I just let it go now? How would you act?

"His excuse" for throwing it away. So you see it as an excuse too. Tell us the other suspicious things your partner does. Listen to your instincts. Is this the father of your toddler? How long have you known this guy?

MoreChocPls · 06/05/2025 07:20

hes either seriously weird or lying.

MusicalDoc · 06/05/2025 07:21

CrocsNotDocs · 06/05/2025 05:34

Has he cashed the necklace in at one of those gold places?

There is not a chance you would get over 1000 pounds for a gold necklace unless it is an extremely heavy boxer chain or it has a very high carat diamond but it’s difficult to find people to buy diamond nowadays