Ghosted

[serenabar]

Thank you, everyone, for being there for me during my first breakup last year. I’m completely over my ex. But as I started catching feelings for another guy over the past four weeks, I now feel shattered again. He love-bombed me, I guess, and now he’s completely gone. He watches my stories but doesn’t react anymore. I wonder what happened, and I just want to reach out. I want to ask him directly. 🙃

I think I just want to be chosen.

Thank you all for the messages. I use your words as reminders, and they make me feel better.

He said he didn’t like dating multiple people at once, and I felt the same way. He even said that I was lucky to have him. He talked about the future, and I was happy. But suddenly, he pulled away. He started replying with just one word, showing less interest, making excuses, and creating mysteries around himself. Then, he disappeared. But still watches from the corner. No more liking my stories. What changed? What happened? Why did he stop liking me? Just two days before, he was sending me romantic reels.

He's dicking you around OP.

Any decent man does not act like that.

You remind me if when I was younger. Why do you think you just want to be chosen? You don't have to write it in here.

If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be, learn to love yourself. Really understand what that actually means and do it. Never look to a man to do it first and foremost.

Men are simple creatures. They like you, you know. They don’t, you know. The why is another story. I once dated a guy who disappeared. Later I found out he had a gf. Another guy straight after did the same, I bumped into him a couple years later in a sunny bar garden in our local London hang out. I was newly engaged (met DH a month after things flat lined) and I said after a few drinks, ‘I’m engaged. It’s more than done but what happened back there’. Bless him for thinking he still meant anything to me, told me how much I meant to him at the time and how much he liked me yayayaya and felt so guilty but his ex came back on the scene. I just went ‘ok that makes sense’ and it really didn’t ever make sense difference me knowing. All I can tell you is you might be days away from meeting your husband to be. Then you really won’t care. Move on.

“I think I just want to be chosen” is really the answer to how you’re feeling. We all do. Running after, or ruminating on, someone who hasn’t chosen you, is a waste of your precious time. Anyone who doesn’t choose you, isn’t for you. And that’s the end of it. Letting your mind be filled with that person is blocking the path of the person who will choose you. You don’t know how long it will be before you know who that is, and uncertainty is hard to live with when you want something so much, but really - be your own best friend here and tell yourself what you’d tell any friend in this situation.

Thank you, I needed this 🥺

We all want to be chosen, I think it’s a thing from being important, from being a child, often it’s the father ( exceptions included), first most important man..
society tends to be the mindset, women please, which is true, lots of insecure men seek, power and attention.
Be more confident or try to you, and why you feel that way!
Take care