Ghosted

[serenabar]

Thank you, everyone, for being there for me during my first breakup last year. I’m completely over my ex. But as I started catching feelings for another guy over the past four weeks, I now feel shattered again. He love-bombed me, I guess, and now he’s completely gone. He watches my stories but doesn’t react anymore. I wonder what happened, and I just want to reach out. I want to ask him directly. 🙃

But isn’t that a boy-like act. Just open my message and be honest. 😔

I mean this kindly : you sound quite immature emotionally. This guy barely qualifies as a relationship.
You need to build up a little resilience as you'll probably go through several break ups before you find your partner. You can learn from each one and they will inform future choices.
A clean break would be best here which means not haunting facebook. Block him and find something else to do.
Focus on yourself for a while. Build up your confidence and know your own value. A partner shouldn't be your whole life: they should just enhance the fab life you already have.

It would be better if he opened your message and replied to you in a kind a clear way, letting you know exactly how things stand. But that's a difficult thing to do. Not everyone knows how to express themselves well, especially where emotions are concerned. It requires a level of confidence and maturity that not everyone has. He probably knows that you are not the most confident of people and that it will be awkward and might hurt you. Very few people do manage to let other people down gently. Yes they should, but they don't.

You say you are surprised because he seemed to be kind and thoughtful. But everybody in the world can be nice and most people are most of the time. I am sure this man is fairly ordinary so I am not making a direct comparison, but even Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler would have many moments of kindness, attentiveness, care and sensitivity. Because that is a basic minimum of humanity. So, don't be surprised that this man is usually nice to you. That is a given of human beings. You need to focus on the fact that he is not willing or able to communicate properly with you and isn't that fussed about seeing you. However nice he sometimes is, that is the bottom line.

Am sadly an old hand at this. You know what happened. He’s either met someone else or wasn’t that into you and it’s an easy way out. I always felt the need to call them out on this rude behaviour though. But decent people don’t ghost. Move on swiftly.

Block him on all social media, not for 'revenge' but so you aren't torturing yourself by checking his activity.

He’s met someone else. As soon as he realises he doesn’t like them enough, he’ll probably be messaging you again! That’s my guess so don’t fall for it.

He said you’re lucky to have him? I don’t think so.

Be strong, block and move on.

OP you’re torturing yourself over a waste of space. Without you even telling us, it’s clear you’re still pretty young. All I can say is that unfortunately in mine and a lot of other female friends experiences of all ages may I say - but this is just how some guys are. You seem quite a sensitive person and you need a thick skin to do OLD because of all the nonsense such as ghosting that goes on.

I recommend you just accept he’s not the one, it really doesn’t matter why you don’t need him to say because actions speak louder than words and you’ve experienced them and it’s clear he’s ‘out’.

Do yourself a favour and when you’re ready and if you still want to, take OLD not so seriously otherwise you’ll constantly be in bits with bad mental health. I mean look how quickly you’re back here in MN with same issue.

Enjoy your 20s and have fun meeting other people. Just accept there’s a lot of frog kissing coming your way and try to mix up OLD if you can with face to face events/groups etc. All the best!

Don't rely on an unreliable man to give you anything.

You make your own closure. You block him and move on. It was a few weeks.

This guy love bombed you and the you're lucky to have me remark would have a lot of women going you have nothing to do with it. He played a bit, he got tired of playing. That's it.

You need to distract yourself and keep busy. I know it’s hard but you’ll feel better for it.

He texted saying he is very busy with work..

I don’t understand why he would just say that. Why can’t he just straight up say he lost interest? I asked him if he did, and he ignored that, only mentioning how much he’s been working lately. He liked my last message but didn’t respond. I’ve decided to give him 5 more days to show interest, and if he doesn’t, I’ll have to move on. In the meantime, I won’t text him first. It hurts. I don’t know what happened or why he won’t just be honest.

Babe, you are too young to worry about a man who told you that you are lucky to have him. He clearly thinks he is way better than you and he can sense that you are too much into him more than he is into you. The truth is, you have a whole life ahead of you and it may not feel like it right now, but this is the truth. Stop looking for closure in words when his actions are so loud. He is a walking red flag and would just ruin your life a few months down the line. Work on yourself and your self confidence and the right person will find you when you are at your best and know your self worth. Block him ASAP.

What a waste of 5 days of your life OP. He’s showing you clearly that he’s not interested, 5 more days will make no difference. The thing about Men is if they are really interested then no amount of ‘busy at work’ will keep them away. Pull your big girl pants up, delete the conversation, block his number and walk away with your head held high.

Op he is not interested.

no one texts ‘actually I am not interested’, it’s rude and hurtful, plus he wants to leave the door open so he can come back.

block him. Think about something else, he was just some random guy. Invest in yourself ! You can make yourself happy, not this dude!

Men are mostly useless.

Sounds like excuses, sorry.

If he was keen he would have let you know he was tied up but wanted to see you at the weekend plus texted as and when.

It's a valuable lesson, learning to accept if someone isn't interested. If not, that's fine. It's how they feel. The 'why' doesn't matter and you can't really change it. Nothing personal. Just accept the loss of interest at face value and move on. Block or delete if it's short lived and he keeps watching you online. You'll meet someone who is keen.

Did he say you were lucky to have met him or he was lucky? Weird if he said you were the lucky one.

Thank you! ❤️ It just hurts right now, but I know it will get better. He probably chose someone else. He did say he doesn’t like seeing multiple people at once, so it feels like he must have chosen someone else — even though he told me he wasn’t seeing anyone. But even with his busy work schedule, he used to text me good mornings and check in on me. Now… nothing. That kind of attention is probably going to someone else.

He disappeared one afternoon and came back the next morning like nothing happened. The following day, he went silent for 4 hours — even though he mentioned we might meet — and then said he had fallen asleep. And the next day, he left me on seen. It really feels like he was with someone else during those days, and now he’s slowly drifting away without being honest about it. Rejection hurts so much.

He said I’m the lucky one because he knows “how other guys can be.”

To be blunt, the reason he’s not saying “I’m not interested” is to keep you dangling. Let you think there’s a chance he might deign to bless you with his interest again.

We have to create our own closure sometimes, by stopping people having access to us. You will tie yourself up in knots trying to understand his behaviour, but it’s fruitless. Mainly because you would never treat someone like this and therefore will never understand.

I know it hurts. The hurt will lessen, I promise. It will lessen more quickly if you take your power back and block him. It’s so tempting to post stories and there’s a tiny sprinkle of hope every time he watches one. But it’s hopeless hope.

You deserve better than this. You deserve so much better.

Unfortunately as others have said, something has changed, he likes your attention, tho ignoring him gives him none, good or bad.
Your worth more than this, especially us older women will tell you, I know from experience.

No! What a total wanker!

That's a really odd thing to say. He's odd. You're the judge of whether you feel lucky, not him.

Don't bother worrying about whether he has met someone else, he may have, he may not. All that matters is that it's not a lasting match with you.

How to hurt less 🥺

Sorry OP, but I agree that he's probably gone with another option but not closing the door on you completely.

As a side note, WTF is a 'romantic reel' and why would you expect an adult man to respond to that? Also posting eight stories a day?!

Sorry OP but sounds like he’s keeping you hanging with using excuses incase it doesn’t work out with someone else. That’s how I see it, walk away.

But what should he say to you, what actual words could he use that would simultaneously make you feel better, and make it clear the relationship is over.