Abdondoned in Foreign country

[HolidayHell2025]

I came to my husbands country on "holiday" his family are all here (small island in the indian Ocean). Before leaving we had a few rocky arguments about communication. He did the usual promises and pulled out all the stops and went OTT to enaure I go, we have 2 young children. I came and the first day the same issue cropped up. We have been abroad now for 7 days and 3rd time the same issue has cropped up. We argue a littlr and then I try to get on with things and make the most out of things. But today was heated and I yold him to leave and go on a planned outing with his parents and extended family. I was upset and angry I hoped he would cool off and return but instead he left me alone for 8 hours in a foreign country I have no family or friends here. I was left with the kids.

I was utterly heart broken at this carelessness and lack of consideration. He went and had fun and left us. We have non refundable ticket. And the emotional aode of me would have gone to the airport and requested a change to the soonest plane back to the UK.

The communication issues pertain to him discussing plans or whatever with me as a couple agreeing but he goes and doea something utterly different not trivial matters but the important stuff. And aince being here he has done it regading arranging things with his family without consulting me. I feel like I am a small child being told to go along with what he decides with his family.

I dont soeak the language and have no money. I left everything back at home. There are no pavemwnts to walk and you need a car to drive. What would you do?

I know I kicked myself for getting on thenplane to begin with after all the love bombing in thought he would change. It is my fault for going along even though I was still upset with him.

Ps. When I visited my DH's home country I let him take control, even though in the UK it's usually me. He knew the country, the language etc. It was actually wonderful to see him in that context as he was so confident, really different to how he was in the UK, where he's always felt 'different' and less 'able'.

I do think the title is rather misleading. Going on a day out with his family when he is on holiday visiting them is hardly ‘abandoning’ you. They must all be so happy to be able to spend time together. And you did tell him to go!

Why didn’t you want to join in?

Also, why don't you have any money with you?

You're in his family's home, with your kids, and you have internet access, so I think you need to take a breath - you haven't been abandoned, he's gone on a day out with his family, which you refused to go on, after having a hrated row.

So enjoy the day with your kids - have you a garden or balcony where they can play? Can you bring them out for a walk? Or stay home if it's hot or you feel uncomfortable outside, and read, or cook, or colour with your kids.

From your headline I thought you had nowhere to stay and that the person you were with was not coming back. If you can reframe it in your mind as your husband is out for the day, you might feel less stressed.

Well the thread title makes it sound far more serious and dramatic than you telling him to amend the day with his family then getting the hump because he did exactly that.

I do think your relationship sounds far too much like hard work and you’re incompatible - definitely a serious conversation when you’re home is in order.

You told him to go and he went. You don’t then get to play victim because he did what you asked him to do. You were fine. You are capable of going a day without company.

Hold out until you’re home, then separate.

Is there nothing fun you can do with the kids where you are? Beach? Walk? Play? Just have a good day and enjoy the change of scenery. Listen to an audiobook if the kids are content with that.

You told him to go alone. So he went along. He didn’t abandon you.

I am alone in a foreign country with my 2 children every year… it’s called going on holiday. You’re an adult. Grow up.

If you want to talk about how shitty he is in general and the actual issues in your marriage then I’m sure everyone would be on your side. But your thread title is nonsense and your OP is far too over dramatic because you’re an adult on holiday, not abandoned in a foreign country.

You seem somewhat overdramatic and possibly as hot headed as your husband.

is there any chance that he may choose to stay in his country and keep the children?

Either way, I’d suggest you keep a cool head and bite your lip. Ensuring that you and the children return safely to the UK ought to be your priority.

You did tell him to leave and go on the planned outing, which seems to be what he’s done. If he cooled off and returned that wouldn’t be going on the outing. I can’t work out how big of a deal the arguments are or how bad it is that you’ve been left - you’re presumably in a hotel or home with access to food and drink etc? Or are you left on the street? Can’t tell if you’re angry and being dramatic or if he’s a terrible person and this is relationship ending stuff. But hope he comes back soon and you can communicate and sort things out one way or another.

You did tell him to leave and go on the planned outing, which seems to be what he’s done. If he cooled off and returned that wouldn’t be going on the outing. I can’t work out how big of a deal the arguments are or how bad it is that you’ve been left - you’re presumably in a hotel or home with access to food and drink etc? Or are you left on the street? Can’t tell if you’re angry and being dramatic or if he’s a terrible person and this is relationship ending stuff. But hope he comes back soon and you can communicate and sort things out one way or another.

Deleted multiple post

No idea why the multiple posts sorry! I’ll try to delete some

You have not been abandoned in a foreign country , you’ve had an argument , told your husband to go on the outing and that is what he has done . Presumably you are staying somewhere so just spend the day there doing whatever with the kids .

Your thread title is extremely misleading.

I can’t see what he’s done wrong. I think you sound difficult and you’re probably spoiling his visit.

You need to be really careful. Smile, pretend all is ok , don't let him have the kids alone and make sure you all get on the plane home

You can't understand that the time in his home country with his family is very limited and precious. You could have plan ahead and be an independent person by bringing your own moeny, bothering in learning the language (assume it won't be the last visit since that's your children heritage) and sorting transport.

It is very tiring spend 7 days translating constatly, planning all activities and driving around. Probably it is a good thing for both of you to have a relaxing day apart.

Where are you staying? Is it the family home or separate accommodation? You need to stop being a victim and use the time productively, I doubt you would have taken dc out on your own in a foreign place even had there been pavements or you had access to a car. How did you expect this trip to play out? Did you hope he would spend time with just you forgoing his family time? How much longer will you be there and what plans can you make?

Come on op! Don’t be so reliant on a man!! You by do you have no access to a bank card or money?? Do you literally have nothing? No bank card ? No phone / online banking / credit card??

can you book a resort or something and go there with the kids and save the holiday and head home at
the end

thats what I’d do

If your husband has form for doing this kind of thing, why on Earth did you agree to travel with him?

Why do you not have any money?

Why do you travel without having money in your account? Do you not realise that situations might occur that means you need money? Such as changing your flight? Needing money for food? Taxis? Medicine? If you need to go see a doctor?

Everything about your choice to travel in the first place boggles my mind. You can't really do anything - without access to money - other than persevere and make the best of the trip until you are going back home. And then never travel to your husband's home country again without having access to enough money to book a flight back home should you need to.

Thank you I have had many hours to think it over. He was gone until 7pm so I decided to keep thr peace until we go back. We are here for another 13days.

Can you make sure you have access to money should he disappear again.

As women do we say things when emptions are high. I thought he would go for a walk and come back once cooled off.
He has returned and is stone walling me and ignoring me. Which is his normal self.

Yes reoccurring issue as per post. Communication is a huge issue he speaks english perfectly. Highly educated. The issue is pertaining planning things big and smell. Even the holiday we agreed 2 weeks and I even found the deal and sent it to him. Told everyone 2 weeks. The day he booked he did 3 weeks and never told me. When he slipped and said 7 days before the flight and then instead of apologizing he gaslight me and said it isn't a big deal. Perhaps not to some but for me it is as this is reoccurring issue. He says 1 thing and we agree as a. Ouple then he does what he wants. He love bombed me after 5 days of stone walling me and promised never to do it wnd to make it thr best trip ever. Only to do it 4 more times since we been here.
We are in am Air B'n'B with some snacks and smoothie pouches in the cupboard only.

We don't stay with inlaws anymore as they hwve an issue with boundaries with kids and myself. Privacy is a massive issue. I tried in the past but they are cultural and don't care. Can be t9lerated for 1 or 2 days not weeks of a holiday.

Not so i didn't arrange a solo holiday I have no money and no means of transport. You didn't read my post fully then.

Only if I ask him outright. English is spoken here. Although they have 0 pavements so I would hwve to arrange a Taxi. I will ask him though for emergency money.

Why don't you have any money of your own?