Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Met a great guy trouble is...

90 replies

inadilemma · 17/05/2008 18:46

Please dont flame me, obviously name changed for this, trouble is he is attached, I'm single.

I only realised this after a strong connection was made. I've met him before and presumed he was single.

We are both smitten but have arranged to meet up again as friends. Its a long time since I've felt this strongly and although I know we cannot go there I want to go through with the meeting. I will make sure nothing physical will happen. Am I mad? help can anyone talk some sense into me.

OP posts:

Original poster

inadilemma · 18/05/2008 21:14

Hi Dior and Lou33, I'm abouteve really (wisper emotion). I got a nice text from him today said respect etc. I'm feeling very positive about my decision today and am very happy that I asked mumsnet for advice.

We are all planning to meet up at a festival, mutual friends, (hippy emotion) with the kids and his partner in a couple of months and at least we may have a friendship.

My niece is trying to set me up on a blind date with a single man and hey I may go.

OP posts:

madamez · 18/05/2008 22:37

When the idea of snogging this guy makes you snort with laughter, then you can safely be friends. And you may well get to that stage - think of some of your past crushes, for instance, or any XPs that are far enough in the past to be friends and nothing more.

Dior · 18/05/2008 23:05

Message withdrawn

Dior · 19/05/2008 22:11

Message withdrawn

frumpygrumpy · 19/05/2008 22:19

Keep perspective.

You wouldn't be asking for advice on here if you felt totally ok with it.

It could be something great......but it should begin on a solid, honest, strong footing if its going to truly be great.

Give yourself that chance. Don't skulk around.

How is everything else in your life? If other things are a little stressed/down then these things can become the only light and thus the most attractive.

Original poster

inadilemma · 19/05/2008 22:59

We have met up today. I know it was wrong. I was hoping that in the cold light of the day I wouldnt have felt the same attraction. I was wrong it was stronger. Went for a stroll, had a chat etc. Found out more. Dont feel so bad now but not happy with what I have found out.

That's it though I wont see him again. An ex flame sent me the I still love you messages last night and I've been chatting to him. Its wierd how he pops up when I'm on the threshold of something new. Its a year since I've spoken to him and 2 and a half years since I've seen him. Its taken my mind of all this.

There is something in the air atm in my life. My love life has never ran smoothly. I envy people who just seem to get it right. Thanks for asking. I know I'm not a bad person just very unlucky in love.

OP posts:

frumpygrumpy · 20/05/2008 09:43

Well, as long as you go with your gut instinct. Your ex sounds more free just wondering why he is an ex ......

Dior · 20/05/2008 14:30

Message withdrawn

MsDiscontented · 20/05/2008 14:38

Please dont become the OW, it starts off fun at the beginning but will only lead to heartache. It may be painful not to meet up with this bloke but it will be more painful in the long run it you do start a relationship knowing hes involved with someone else,

Original poster

inadilemma · 20/05/2008 15:24

I wont see him again, after all he lives a long way away and he wont make the drive up for a peck on the cheek and rejection again.

It feels really tough though and I'm surprised at the strength of feeling on my part.

OP posts:

macdoodle · 20/05/2008 19:12

Why did you meet him then

frumpygrumpy · 20/05/2008 20:37

The connection on your part feels strong because at the time of your original meeting you did not know he was not single.

You liked him and, because it is human nature, your mind ran ahead a little and imagined what could come next. Then you found out he is not single. But your mind has already begun playing the game.

This is now a mind game. And you have to be clever enough to fix it.

Anniegetyourgun · 20/05/2008 20:44

Agree with Frumpygrumpy. It shows you have love inside you and you are ready for something. Unfortunately the first object turned out to be the wrong one. It'll be a bit of a wrench to let go, but the love is still there, you need to be free to give it to a suitable person (ie one who's free to have all the fun you like, and spend his time, money and attention on you ).

Irisheyes78 · 20/05/2008 21:01

You sound a bit desperate like you would accept anything. A bit lost.

Stay away from this man. If it turns into something it could really hurt his family. What did you find out that you didn't like! You already knew he had a wife and kids.

Original poster

inadilemma · 20/05/2008 21:12

I'm not desperate, and would not take anything on offer. Believe it or not I get a lot of offers but its been a long time since I've met someone where I felt such overpowering chemistry, hence been single for a while.

Anyway it's over now before its began. So no harm done.

I wont contact him now because I dont want to run the risk of upsetting anyone.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread