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Insisting on pics

102 replies

Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/04/2025 06:58

TLDR
Met a guy online, keeps asking for a close up photo of me smiling, is this weird and am I unreasonable for starting with the ick?

'Met' a guy a few weeks ago on an FB group for a holiday destination we will both be visiting soon (at the same time)...as solo travellers. We've been chatting most days, started off about the island and possibly meeting for a drink/meal or doing some sightseeing together. Things developed a little from there, conversation turned more personal i.e. our ages, jobs, previous relationships etc, until we were messaging constantly.

Everything was going swimmingly, we swapped photos, head shots, and we both liked what what saw, so much so that we talked about possibly meeting up before the holiday and seeing how things go. He's been very respectful all through this, teeny bit of flirting but no sexual comments, good banter, we seem to have the same values and I was enjoying the chat/attention. A couple of days ago he asked for a picture of me really smiling, even though I'm smiling in the 2 pics I've already sent, but he said he wanted a close up one to see what I looked like happy. I was at work when he asked this and it got lost in a bunch of other messages. He then brought up exercise and how he goes to the gym pretty much every day, sometimes twice, and nothing is going to change this. He said he couldn't be with a lazy person and he doesn't find big women attractive which is his right...I'm neither, but I was 6 stone overweight and a bit of a lazy bastard until recently and his comment hit a nerve, I appreciate this is a me problem but it got to me a little. I didn't share my weight loss with him, none of his business, and he can see from my pics I'm not big (size 8--10), but he keeps banging on about what my regime is. I told him I wasn't a fan of the gym and my exercise is lots of walking, but he kept going on and on about the gym being amazing, I admire his dedication but for health reasons which I'm not sharing with him, I don't do the gym. Despite me saying I'm not into the gym, he suggested when/if we meet, we could go together and go each morning when we're on the holiday, I again said the gym isn't for me and he dropped it eventually but seemed a little cool for a while. Anyhoo, in and amongst this he asked again for a close up of me smiling which I think is a bit odd, but again the message was lost in the other messages and wasn't mentioned again.

Last night I was out with friends having early cocktails and I sent him a couple of pics of the drinks, it was relevant as we were talking about a going to cocktail making class when we're away. I was home for 9 and noticed he hadn't responded so I presumed he was out/ asleep/ whatever so I cracked on with what I was doing, and got ready for bed. At 10.30 he messaged saying I was really being unfair, that he's sent he loads of pics (I didn't ask him to) and I can't even send one close up pic of me smiling, that's he's not asking for much and he can't understand why I'm being awkward about it. I found this really odd, the other messages asking got swallowed up in other stuff and I hadn't given it another thought, but he was really insistent and intense about it. I told him I was about to turn in and jokingly suggested that he zoomed in on one of pics I'd already sent, he said I was bang out of order, he only wants the pic and why can't I just do this one thing?

I didn't respond and this morning I've woken up to a why are you ignoring me message and an apology message saying he just wants to see how much more lovely I'll look really smiling. To cut a very long story short, I'm totally put off him now, what with this and the gym/big women comments, and no longer want to meet up here or on holiday, should I message and tell him this or just let it fizzle out? How honest should I be if I do tell him? Wouldn't usually be worried about offending but he arrives on the island the day after me, knows the loose area I'm staying (he's nearby) and knows what I looked like otherwise I'd just block and delete.

OP posts:
StrawberryDream24 · 12/04/2025 07:35

values

You didn't like his values when more of them started emerging.

Which his totally understandable.

He sounds like a gym bore and bit of a body fascist (and I say that as a skinny person).

LushLemonTart · 12/04/2025 07:36

Yikes glad you've told him. I hope he doesn't know where you're staying?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 12/04/2025 07:36

Red flag central. Block his number and don't meet up with him.

Enjoy your holiday.

LushLemonTart · 12/04/2025 07:38

Just seen he knows the area. Hopefully you can get lost amongst the tourists?

Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/04/2025 07:40

LushLemonTart · 12/04/2025 07:38

Just seen he knows the area. Hopefully you can get lost amongst the tourists?

He knows the general area as his apartment is near to mine as we talked about restaurants we'd like to visit...but hopefully it's unlikely we'll be at the same one at the same time. Anyway, i probably won't see him, he'll be in the gym or looking at himself in the mirror

OP posts:
Fillybustering · 12/04/2025 07:42

If you see him op and he says hi just pretend you don't know who he is! Very unlikely though.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/04/2025 07:45

Ooo we have a response "I intend to 😉".

That could've been worse. I'm not going to block him just yet as I don't want to potentially piss him off, but I will if he messages again.

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/04/2025 07:47

Fillybustering · 12/04/2025 07:42

If you see him op and he says hi just pretend you don't know who he is! Very unlikely though.

Yeah I think it's unlikely too and I have a few trips planned/have a hire car booked so fingers crossed. I'll be scoping out any restaurants before I go in of an evening though!

OP posts:
Imbusytodaysorry · 12/04/2025 07:47

He’s obsessed. Fit body and nice teeth . That’s it.
Id tell him that you clearly aren’t his type and it’s best left as it originally was. .
Best of luck . Dick head

HolidayHattie · 12/04/2025 07:48

What's S&G?

AwakeNotThruChoice · 12/04/2025 07:48

Don’t reply! I don’t think you would anyway.

Enjoy your holiday! I gather your time spent texting this chap has been quite time consuming.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/04/2025 07:49

HolidayHattie · 12/04/2025 07:48

What's S&G?

Spelling and grammar Grin

OP posts:
Catchingrays · 12/04/2025 07:54

I would hate the pressure of someone asking for certain types of photos. Who does he think he is? He is definitely trying to find out if you are ‘good enough’ for him. And he’s in his 50s? How shallow.

Good reply from you.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/04/2025 07:55

AwakeNotThruChoice · 12/04/2025 07:48

Don’t reply! I don’t think you would anyway.

Enjoy your holiday! I gather your time spent texting this chap has been quite time consuming.

We've messaged a lot but only when I wasn't busy with work/friends/other stuff, he had a driving job so there were large gaps anyway. It was mostly at lunchtimes and evenings when we were messaging, so lots in short spaces of time

OP posts:
SpringIsSpringing25 · 12/04/2025 07:57

HolidayHattie · 12/04/2025 07:48

What's S&G?

Spelling and grammar

Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/04/2025 07:58

Catchingrays · 12/04/2025 07:54

I would hate the pressure of someone asking for certain types of photos. Who does he think he is? He is definitely trying to find out if you are ‘good enough’ for him. And he’s in his 50s? How shallow.

Good reply from you.

That's it, from past experience they ask for fairly innocuous ones and then it escalates to tits and banjo pics. He could've repeatedly asked for pics of my dog/house/car and it would have had the same effect.

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/04/2025 08:00

Banjo! That would be weird. I meant fanjo

OP posts:
AlphaRadiationIsHeliumNuclei · 12/04/2025 08:01

Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/04/2025 08:00

Banjo! That would be weird. I meant fanjo

I thought that was some new slang I hadn't heard of. 😆

SpringIsSpringing25 · 12/04/2025 08:01

It's a shame he's going at the same time and you're gonna be looking out for him (to avoid him) he sounds very obsessed and weird!! Glad you've effectively told him to piss off!!

I'm a little bit older than you (56) how is your skin/Body after losing the weight.?? I've lost a bit of weight, but I'm getting very saggy skin and I can't have surgery to remove it as I scar really badly, which will probably look far worse than saggy skin.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/04/2025 08:02

AlphaRadiationIsHeliumNuclei · 12/04/2025 08:01

I thought that was some new slang I hadn't heard of. 😆

Probably is somewhere Grin

OP posts:
isthismylifenow · 12/04/2025 08:04

Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/04/2025 07:47

Yeah I think it's unlikely too and I have a few trips planned/have a hire car booked so fingers crossed. I'll be scoping out any restaurants before I go in of an evening though!

Chances are he will be scoping out another solo traveller on that group.

He sounds like a complete creep.

AllTheTreesOfTheField · 12/04/2025 08:04

Do banjos have a G string?

(I'll see myself out) 😂

FondantFancyFan · 12/04/2025 08:06

He's trying to control and force you into being a gym bunny and a specific body type. Drop and run.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/04/2025 08:06

SpringIsSpringing25 · 12/04/2025 08:01

It's a shame he's going at the same time and you're gonna be looking out for him (to avoid him) he sounds very obsessed and weird!! Glad you've effectively told him to piss off!!

I'm a little bit older than you (56) how is your skin/Body after losing the weight.?? I've lost a bit of weight, but I'm getting very saggy skin and I can't have surgery to remove it as I scar really badly, which will probably look far worse than saggy skin.

Yeah I have saggy skin sadly, been overweight a long time, my stomach isn't so bad but my arms and upper thighs bother me, even if i did go to the gym, nothing but surgery is going to tighten that up at this point. But it doesn't me as much as being fat did so I'll live with it and I look fine clothed.

Imagine his horror if he ever got to see me naked?!

OP posts:
violetcuriosity · 12/04/2025 08:07

Sorry but this is such a red flag. People on those sites lurk looking for vulnerable women to traffic when they get to the country. A close up of your face would be all a ‘taxi driver’ needed at the airport to look out for you. Make sure you haven’t shared any of your details/holiday dates/locations with him or anyone on that group.