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Original poster

Fwb confusion

89 replies

joanna123457 · 08/04/2025 14:53

Hi guys, so I need some advice here. Please no judgement. I’m 43 and have been in a fwb situation with a 40 year old guy since January. Long post so please bear with me!

Before we met he said that he thought he liked me more than fwb, (unsure how he could have known this) but if we did end up being more he wanted an open relationship (sleeping with other people)- and he wanted a 3 way 🫣

We met up for you know what the first time got on well, he said he now wanted a 3 way with a friend of his and didn’t need to see me on our own again to have it. (Back story he has been in 2 relationships one long term with whole he had a son she treated him badly and another one before Christmas).

So we had this 3 way I tried to meet up with him again over course of a month but he said he was busy at several times. One night I had a hotel booked and he said he was keen but perhaps wanted to bring a woman friend. Then he said he was working and was too tired to drive to me wanted me to get him. It turns out he wasn’t at work was at home drinking. When I was there he said I should go out and sleep with another guy as I did his 3 way with him. The next thing I know he’s telling me he doesn’t want me to as he’s jealous ( then he says it’s because he wants to sleep with me again and if I meet someone I might not - I mean really!)

Then we got into the whole more than friends conversation. He said he’d been and slept with another girl apologised to me but said he wouldn’t see her again as she wanted more and he doesn’t want a relationship or to date. The next thing I know he’s saying he would like to see me to hang out and see if there’s anything there but he doesn’t want to date or have a relationship.

Fast forward a few weeks and I tell him that we should finish the fwb thing (I started thinking about him after we were together as he was cuddling me in bed the morning after so I’m guessing catching feelings). The minute I say that he ends up ringing me asking me if I want to come and stay for a night.

So that’s the long and short of it, to say I’m confused is an understatement.

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 22/04/2025 17:56

Maybe you should stop asking for advice if you're going to play the askhole.

supercali77 · 22/04/2025 18:31

joanna123457 · 21/04/2025 22:46

Edit - we’ve met up again, once of which I was trying to get another girl to see him. At first he was like I don’t believe you then, said I was making it up, when I said she couldn’t make it he was like I don’t know what to do now. It took a while to convince him for me to come over. But I did. The sex as usual was great, this time he was saying things like I just want you I’ll do anything for you (whilst we were having sex) which completely threw me but then came out with it would be better as a threesome. He replied twice when I texted him after and now it’s back to reading but not replying.

Edited

But what did you expect? obviously he's the same tw*at bag he was before. Why did you go back for more?

RealEagle · 22/04/2025 19:00

This thread has got to be a joke surely

TwistedWonder · 22/04/2025 19:14

RealEagle · 22/04/2025 19:00

This thread has got to be a joke surely

Agree. No middle aged mum could be that desperate for a shag or have such low standards.

NimbleTiger · 22/04/2025 19:28

Get away from this one....gaslightjng and triangulation going on here ...breadcrumbing at its finest . You filled the need with the threesome you're on the backburner and doing the pick me dance he'll pick you when nobody else is available...put this down to experience and block him. You're worth so much more.

Ihavepandassurvivalinstinct · 22/04/2025 21:04

outerspacepotato · 22/04/2025 17:56

Maybe you should stop asking for advice if you're going to play the askhole.

It has been a loong time since I saw askhole!
Pretty sure I have screenshot of definition still somewhere in dusty archive😂

rockstarshoes · 22/04/2025 22:43

My god! You’re as bad as he is! Where are finding these other women to pull in to this shit show?

so you read all these responses, nodded along & then he clicked his fingers & you scuttled off to find the next victim for him!

Dweetfidilove · 23/04/2025 11:56

@joanna123457 Fret not! He'll pop back when he's ready to wet his stick with you and co again 👌🏾.

dandelionfbdb · 05/05/2026 02:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Ladybyrd · 05/05/2026 03:04

He doesn’t exactly sound like a catch. You’re allowing him to reel you in and out to suit him. Why are you doing this to yourself?

Delphiniumandlupins · 05/05/2026 03:22

FWB? How can you be friends with someone like this? There have to be plenty other people you can get the same benefits from. Are you actually enjoying these threesomes or just going along with his fantasies? Bin him.

Bristolandlazy · 05/05/2026 03:27

Is this what you want? I wouldn't want to catch feelings for someone who behaves that way. He's not showing you respect.
He's using you for sex. You say it's great, so what, you can have great sex with someone who treats you nicely. How about treating yourself with respect and care, doing better and walking away from him. I hope you're using condoms, is he worth an STI? It makes me sad reading this post. Why are you settling for this rubbish?
If you want a FWB find someone nice, who treats you better.

If you want a relationship you aren't going to get one from him, he might say he wants that, he's a walking disaster who will say anything, whatever suits the moment. You can do better than this, block him, move on, get tested!!!! Blimey

shimasu · 05/05/2026 08:23

In the nicest possible way. You're his cock slut not a FWB or even the beginnings of a relationship. He breadcrumbs you to keep you interested.

Stop any confusion and finish it. Learn the life lesson and move on.

darksideofthetoon · 05/05/2026 16:03

A FWB can work and be an amazing thing but not with this guy.

Way too many red flags and he sounds mentally unstable.

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