I want him back - need your help!

[DesperatelyPathetic]

Am regular who has namechanged. Have young DC and our relationship has been challenging over the last 6 months.

We split up for a bit but it looks like we shall be giving things another go, we both want to. I want him to fall in love with me all over again and need your help.

What can I do? Your top seduction/get a man tips, if you please Pathetic, I know, but I want him back.

(Disclaimer: I know I can't MAKE him love me, shouldn't want him if he can't see it himself blah blah)

get yourself some outside interests and friends that boost your self esteem. have psychotherapy and look after yourself. men like confidence.

I am pretty confident, I work out regularly, my body is getting back in shape and have been maintaining a relatively good social life (as good as it can be when a parent!). I also work full time.

I don't know if I am missing a trick with how I should be with him - ignore him? Make him jealous? Stop playing games and tell him he is the love of my life and I can't bear to lose him?

We miss eachother terribly when we're apart but we're pretty crap communicators.

Second what Cosima said - Act as though you dont need him. Show him you are independent of him.

Definitely agree with Cosima that outside interests & friends are helpful.
Men don't like desperation so if you're always at home available and hanging on his shirt tails he will go off you. They like to feel that they need to 'win' you.
You don't need to go overboard on seduction, just take the time to wear clothes that make you feel good & put on a little make up then let him chase you.
Make sure that you have lots of fun whenever you're not with him, and come back glowing after a day/evening out.
Good luck!

x-posted
Definitely DON'T play games, they always backfire. Don't ignore him, or make him jealous or try to manipulate him. Just be happy in yourself, genuinely happy. And be kind to him. Listen to him & ask him questions - his day at work, his hopes and dreams, and tell him which parts of his hopes and dreams are things you dream of too. (Don't ever tell him his dreams are silly. But you knew that, right?)
Remind him of happy memories, revisit places where you were happy together and remind him of jokes you've shared etc.

I would be totally honest stop playing games and make time for each other He must still love you if he wants to come back so don't worry too much You are good enough as you are you just need to believe it and it will too Xx

Be attentive, everyone loves getting their ego stroked a bit. Don't expect anything, softly softly is the way forward.

Don't make him jealous or play games, he'll see through it and will walk.

Can you start writing a diary between the two of you? How you're feeling r put pictures of nice memories in it? An emotional scrap book. I made one for dp and he adores it!! This should help getting your comms on the right way.

Alexa - that is a brilliant idea, love it! I have just had loads of pictures of us developed from a festival and some gigs we went to last year.

Really like the idea of asking him questions about his hopes and dreams, funny how you forget that sort of thing after a couple of years.

Do you think asking him out on a date would be cheesy?

FLIRT with him..

go out with him and FLIRT with him.

little touches, seductive glances, a stroke of the inside leg here and there.

and let him chase you.

i agree with cosima

get therapy / counselling for yourself

look after yourself . i mean for yourself or if you cant do that, look after yourself for your kids sake. this is not the same as going to the gym to get back into shape so he will fancy you

if you want to get/keep fit - great. you will feel better about yourself and have more energy for life & feel more confident. But it wont make him fancy you if he doesnt IYSWIM. it cant be about him, needs to be about YOU. otherwise you are giving him too much power over your life

does thsi make sense?

I can't remember how to flirt! Am out with some of the lads from work tomorrow, they're gorgeous and always attract lots of female attention, will watch how it is done.

Makes sense Kristina just that's not where I am at, have been working on myself for a while now and am very happy. I don't need counselling - I just want to woo my man! Maybe I worded my OP badly, I know he loves me and finds me attractive but I want us to be smitten in love again. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen - I want him to remember ME not just see me as a Mother. We have forgotten who we were and need to get that back IMO.

I want to get that rush of excitement, the butterflies etc and want him to feel it too. I know it's a bit pathetic that I want to do all of this for us but I love him. I don't want us to get back together to slip back in to mediocrity, it's all or nothing but I believe with some effort it could be all.

That was good to write down - reading it back I think I'm probably being a bit naive and idealistic! This may not make much sense