Wedding invite

[Greenwoodstems]

I am getting to the point where I am sick of my BF being regarded by his mates as the “single” friend. Yet another weekend, yet another invite…for him. Apparently we haven’t been together long enough for me to warrant an invite, but I really am getting sick of it all. We are in our 40s, trying to make a go of it, and another weekend is ruined with him attending a friends wedding where I don’t rank. Pissed off beyond measure.

How long have you been together?

How long have you been together?
Have you met the friends?
Have you seen the invitation that's just for him and doesn't include you? Or is that just what he's told you?

Do you know his friends? Have you seen the invite? It’s unusual not to put a +1 on a single person’s invite

Can I ask why the weekend is ruined if your boyfriend isn’t around?

Find some cool things to do while he’s away.

As for the friends, best way to fix that is to make friends with his friends and their partners. Host them for dinners/parties/bbqs or whatever, you’ll soon be part of the group.

It's pretty unusual to issue +1 invitations these days - prices have shot up and the wedding couple are having to carefully choose exactly which friends to select from their wider group to fit the number they can afford. Every random girlfriend they hardly know means a different actual friend they have to exclude. I'm afraid that until you and he are (a) at least engaged and (b) regularly spending time with his friends and their fiancees so they start thinking of you as one of the group, then they are being entirely reasonable.

I can find things to do. I am just pissed off that they still view and present him as single. My weekend is ruined because I work 5 days a week and now another one of the few days I have to spend with my partner is taken away.

There was no plus one on the invite, even though they actually know who I am

Has your boyfriend made an effort to bring you into their circle?

If they still consider him single and you’ve been together a while then the problem isn’t with the friends I’m afraid…

You still haven’t said how long you’ve been together or if you’ve even met these friends. I didn’t invite new boyfriends/girlfriends to my wedding, every guest I had cost me money & frankly if I didn’t know you then why would I invite you to my day and pay for the privilege? I wanted to look around on my wedding day and be surrounded by the people I love, not people I don’t even know

We’ve been together 18 months, but due to our age and that we both want kids we have been talking about trying. So I am bothered that his friends still view him as the single mate and he’s at the wedding on a
singles table (the bride told me, because I wouldn’t mind…)

Yeah, this. How well do they know you?

Have you both hosted a party, invited people round to your house as a couple? They might not know you well enough. Weddings are expensive so I can see why they might not want to give out plus ones to relatively new partners.

To be fair 18 months isn’t long, and if it’s not long enough for you to know his friends then it isn’t long enough to be even thinking about a child together.

Don’t let desperation for a child blind you into having one with the wrong person, there are countless threads on here about women who do exactly that and live to regret it when they become single mums.

TBF, op said she's in her 40s, so she's already in the last chance saloon. Not really any time left to ditch this one and find another

That really isn’t a reason to just have a child with whoever is available though.

It is if you really want a child 🤷‍♀️

And your individual wants is all that you think should go into that decision? Really? You don’t also factor in that the child you create is going to be half that person, and think about the kind of life that child will have? What kind of parent that person will be to that child, and the impact of that?

Wanting a baby and running out of time isn’t a good enough reason to have one with the first person that will get you pregnant no matter what they or your relationship is like.

Better to be on your own than to be this badly accompanied. You’re not a priority to him, more an option. It is not beyond the realms of possibility that your child bearing days are now at an end.

I don't know many men that enjoy going to weddings on their own.

If you don't know the couples or see them regularly it indicates that you are a side piece and he goes to these weddings with his partner.

Ok, to put speculation at an end. I have been in the wrong relationship, this isn’t that. I love him, he is great. I recognise the signs of a wrong relationship, and have walked away from them despite my ex (very kindly offering to get me pregnant to stay).

We want to start family, yes quickly, but we have both been with the wrong people in the past and know what that looks like. So can we put to bed the idea that I am willing to get up the duff by any willing cock…

If you have such a great, open, honest, and strong relationship then I’m not sure why you can’t simply speak to him about the wedding situation yourself?

As it matters so much to you , I wonder why he’s accepting all these invitations. If he’s as great as you say, why isn’t he refusing to go if you’re not invited ?

You are in yet another wrong relationship and your relationship bar is on the floor.

I have, but he says it’s up to bride and groom. Which it is. I am just getting pissed off with people in their 40s who know that others this age accelerate things a bit, putting him on the singles table and expecting me to laugh along with it.

But you’re not pissed off with your partner accepting invites to the weddings without you and not asking if he can bring you along?

You’re trying to make a go of it but he’s not seemingly all that bothered about his relationship with you at all. And you want to have a child by him?. Give yourself a shake here.