Kids adjusting to new partner’s kids

[YourRealSwan]

How can you help your kids adjust to a new partner’s dc? My dc are 12 &15 and partners are 6, 11 &13. For the most part they do ok with the older two but are struggling with the youngest. She is very loud full on, and unfortunately lacks a lot of self restraint, never had any rules or discipline. My partner’s ex is trying to demand we have the kids 50/50, I have mine 12 nights a fortnight. Mine are not liking that idea. I have said it would get better and that I am entitled to happiness too… but how do you manage and adjust or is it just all in the too hard basket?

People who say it works for their family usually haven’t asked their children. My Mum would have said it worked for us too but the reality was we hated it and felt like we couldn’t say anything because nothing would change and if it did it would have hurt our Mum. Kids put up with a lot when they don’t know any different.

Sadly that is a very, very common theme. I'm sorry you were so powerless in that situation. There is growing awareness of how bad 'blended' families usually are for children, as you can see from this thread... but still a lot of people unwilling to put their children first, too.