Sorry - very long!
TL:DR - recent widower - how to proceed.
I am recently divorced, had a two year relationship after the divorce. I was quite naive as wasn’t expecting it and hadn’t ‘dated’ for 30 years so missed all the signals that people on here are more au-fait with in terms of the dating landscape now.
He had serious issues tho’ and we split a year ago, but still part of wider friendship group.
Recently at an event with a hobby group of friends I got chatting to a guy who has recently been more active in the group and who I didn’t know before. Amazing evening -really good conversation about lots of things we have in common. I don’t keep up with gossip etc so hadn’t realised that was widowed a year ago. We gravitated towards each other and talking together most of the evening and with other people in a very natural way -I suspect because he had a healthy relationship with his wife and is used to socialising as a couple and I was in a way fulfilling a similar role.
At the end of the evening I said I was going soon. He said he would leave when I did. We left and walked towards my home. I said -okay -this is where I cross the road. He said goodbye, and (surprising to me) kissed me. All good, both waved. I walked 2mins home.
Texted him to say -lovely conversation! He texted back yes -happy to talk any time.
I have been away on holiday since. We have exchanged a few messages about the hobby and as I am back late today I suggested we meet up got a quick drink to chat about an event I am planning relating up the hobby group. He was very keen and said he is meeting his MiL for lunch and would love to meet up in the evening.
I think it is lovely he is with his MiL and must be very poignant as is Mother’s Day, and her first without her DD/his wife. I did say if he felt later that he preferred not to meet then it was no prob and we could meet another time. But he was adamant he wanted to meet.
I suspect there may be also a wariness about me because my ex bf is on the fringe of the friendship group, still single and has been jealous in the past of other men interested in me.
I don’t to be predatory - would like to see how a natural friendship evolves. I don’t want to take advantage of his grief /of course he will be feeling a massive loss after a long and happy marriage.
Would welcome any views or experiences…
(Am a 20+year mumsnetter / name changed for this 😀 )