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Original poster

Partner didn’t get me a Mother’s Day gift. AIBU

77 replies

bananahammok · 29/03/2025 19:37

Last Mother’s Day, my partner didn’t get me a present. We talked about it today and I was explaining to him that this upset me. He didn’t get it. To give more context, we both have kids from previous relationships. He got his ex a card (from him, not the kids) but only sent me a WhatsApp message. He knows I wouldn’t get anything from my ex as we have no contact due to dv. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Doidontimmm · 29/03/2025 19:39

Yes, you are not his mum?

RedToothBrush · 29/03/2025 19:40

Yes. It's commercial shite to flog you stuff.

A WhatsApp is fine.

WinterBones · 29/03/2025 19:40

i hate to say it, but yes. You are not the mother of his kids.

At a push it'd be nice to help your kids get your something ,but that depends on his relationship with them and how old they are...

But no, i don't believe he should be getting you a present from him on mothers day.

BlondeFool · 29/03/2025 19:40

Yes. You are not his mum or mother of his kids. Buy yourself a present from your own kids.

TomatoSandwiches · 29/03/2025 19:40

Sorry but you're not his mum and neither are you the mother of his child/ren..... YABU.

SoScarletItWas · 29/03/2025 19:41

Needs more context.

What ages are the kids? What did your kids get you? Or are you seeing them tomorrow?

If his kids are 4 then I’d expect him to sort present for their mum. If yours are 15 they could manage themselves.

Either way, I think a present from a partner on Mother’s Day is weird. From the kids, having given them practical help, yes.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 29/03/2025 19:42

But you’re not his mum or the mother of his children.

Why would he get you a card?

Have I got my wires crossed?

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 29/03/2025 19:42

How old are your kids?

You're neither his mum, nor the mum of his kids, so it would be a bit odd for him to acknowledge you as a mum tbh.

It's actually nice that he appreciates the parenting his ex does and gets her a card.

The day for you and him would be valentines day, if you're into that.

loropianalover · 29/03/2025 19:44

It’s nice that he gets his kids’ mum something, and I’m sorry that your ex doesn’t do the same for you, but you are being unreasonable.

What age are your kids?

Changeeman · 29/03/2025 19:48

I disagree with everyone on this thread.

No you're not his Mom, but presumably you're in a loving relationship and you're children are too young to get a card/gift by themselves.

Most men in loving relationships would want to make sure their partner is thought of on Mother's day regardless of if the children are biologically theirs.

CornishTiger · 29/03/2025 19:50

Changeeman · 29/03/2025 19:48

I disagree with everyone on this thread.

No you're not his Mom, but presumably you're in a loving relationship and you're children are too young to get a card/gift by themselves.

Most men in loving relationships would want to make sure their partner is thought of on Mother's day regardless of if the children are biologically theirs.

100% this.

WinterBones · 29/03/2025 19:53

Changeeman · 29/03/2025 19:48

I disagree with everyone on this thread.

No you're not his Mom, but presumably you're in a loving relationship and you're children are too young to get a card/gift by themselves.

Most men in loving relationships would want to make sure their partner is thought of on Mother's day regardless of if the children are biologically theirs.

i disagree. If they were married or cohabiting maybe, but if you're living together, why would you need to send your partner a Whatsapp to wish them happy mothers day?

I could be wrong, but i take it to mean they don't live together.. how is it his responsibility to buy her anything just because they're a couple?

excelledyourself · 29/03/2025 19:54

You say last year. What happened in previous years? Or was last year your first Mothers Day since being in a relationship with him?

I wouldn’t expect anything from him any year, but certainly not if you had been with such a short length of time.

AnonAnonmystery · 29/03/2025 19:57

I don’t actually think you are being unreasonable. My partner always gets me presents from his and a card and he gets me flowers. He respects me as a mother to my children and I take care of his kids too Lily my own so it’s how he shows his appreciation. I get how you are feeling.

Onlyvisiting · 29/03/2025 20:01

Very unreasonable to expect anything FROM him, you aren't his mother or the mother of his children.
If you live together and co parent your kids then it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask him to help or suggest to your DC that they should do something (if they are young) but not a card from him to you.

YellowHatt · 29/03/2025 20:01

He could be helping your kids get you something. But if they’re not his kids then it depends on the set up as he might not feel comfortable doing that.

In which case, if they’re still young, you could be helping them (take them to a shop, give them the money, drop hints, etc).

Also, it’s not Mother’s Day yet! They might be bringing you breakfast in bed as your gift.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 29/03/2025 20:02

Depends on the age of your kids and whether he has the relationship to take them shopping to get you stuff?

What did you do for mother's day with your kids before you met him? I wouldn't expect him to get you anything as you don't have any kids together

Cucy · 29/03/2025 20:03

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 29/03/2025 19:42

But you’re not his mum or the mother of his children.

Why would he get you a card?

Have I got my wires crossed?

I was about to ask the same thing.

Unless I’ve got it wrong then OP isn’t his mum nor does she have kids with this man.

dorisday56 · 29/03/2025 20:04

I'm waiting for the drip feed...

Gundogday · 29/03/2025 20:05

Do you live together? Does he act as their dad?

If he has a parental role, then he should organise a card. If not, then maybe not.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 29/03/2025 20:05

YABU. You are neither his mother, nor the mother of his children.

RosesAndHellebores · 29/03/2025 20:08

I like to think of mpthers' day as "refreshment Sunday". The break in lent for some good food and wine. It means everyone can treat themselves.

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/03/2025 20:09

How old are your kids @bananahammok

dd just 8 wanted to get me something and knew her dad wouldn’t as didn’t last year (first year of split) so we went to the shop the other day and I stood at end of aisle with back turned and she choose gifts and card and took to till with my card and tapped it on machine

she was so proud she had done this and got me something by herself

if younger then he could take them. If older to get something their selves

or even make a card at home

Cynic17 · 29/03/2025 20:09
  1. You're not his mother
  2. It's not Mother's Day until tomorrow, so how do you know what he will or won't do?
  3. How crass is it to actually ask someone to give you a present?

Every year the same.... the whining from people who expect their partner to fuss over them for some commercially-invented day (yes, I know it's Mothering Sunday, and a return to the "mother church", but that's not what the OP is about).

babasaclover · 29/03/2025 20:10

RosesAndHellebores · 29/03/2025 20:08

I like to think of mpthers' day as "refreshment Sunday". The break in lent for some good food and wine. It means everyone can treat themselves.

I really like this and wish it was marketed this way!!!

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