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Original poster

Partner didn’t get me a Mother’s Day gift. AIBU

77 replies

bananahammok · 29/03/2025 19:37

Last Mother’s Day, my partner didn’t get me a present. We talked about it today and I was explaining to him that this upset me. He didn’t get it. To give more context, we both have kids from previous relationships. He got his ex a card (from him, not the kids) but only sent me a WhatsApp message. He knows I wouldn’t get anything from my ex as we have no contact due to dv. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 29/03/2025 20:13

Of course you’re being unreasonable to expect someone who isn’t your offspring or the father of your kids to get you something for Mother’s Day.

HappyToSmile · 29/03/2025 20:13

Weird that he got his ex something (are you sure it wasn't for his kids to give her?), but no, not really down to him to get you something.
Take yourself and your kids out for a lovely day tomorrow, that's what it's all about.
(Next year, take them to a bargain shop and get them to choose you something. Pretend to look the other way when you pay for it.)

Ph3 · 29/03/2025 20:17

I also disagree with the majority of people on this thread. No you’re not his mother but it would be thoughtful and considerate to get some flowers /chocolate and a card to commemorate as it obviously means something to you

Purplecatshopaholic · 29/03/2025 20:18

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 29/03/2025 19:42

But you’re not his mum or the mother of his children.

Why would he get you a card?

Have I got my wires crossed?

This. I don’t get why he would get you anything?

RosesAndHellebores · 29/03/2025 20:20

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/03/2025 20:09

How old are your kids @bananahammok

dd just 8 wanted to get me something and knew her dad wouldn’t as didn’t last year (first year of split) so we went to the shop the other day and I stood at end of aisle with back turned and she choose gifts and card and took to till with my card and tapped it on machine

she was so proud she had done this and got me something by herself

if younger then he could take them. If older to get something their selves

or even make a card at home

@blondeshavemorefun so sorry to read that but how lovely is yiur dd.

Happy Mothers Day. I know it must be very special indeed.

JustAMum31 · 29/03/2025 20:22

@bananahammok Do you live together? How long have you been together?

What do you do for him for Father’s Day?

Tooearlytothink · 29/03/2025 20:23

Changeeman · 29/03/2025 19:48

I disagree with everyone on this thread.

No you're not his Mom, but presumably you're in a loving relationship and you're children are too young to get a card/gift by themselves.

Most men in loving relationships would want to make sure their partner is thought of on Mother's day regardless of if the children are biologically theirs.

Glad to finally see a comment like this. Completely agree.

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/03/2025 20:24

RosesAndHellebores · 29/03/2025 20:20

@blondeshavemorefun so sorry to read that but how lovely is yiur dd.

Happy Mothers Day. I know it must be very special indeed.

Show quote history

aww thank you. (do I know you)

sure it happens to many other mums so it is what it is

Yes bless her

she’s very excited to give it to me tomorrow

Kindling1970 · 29/03/2025 20:26

Cynic17 · 29/03/2025 20:09

  1. You're not his mother
  2. It's not Mother's Day until tomorrow, so how do you know what he will or won't do?
  3. How crass is it to actually ask someone to give you a present?

Every year the same.... the whining from people who expect their partner to fuss over them for some commercially-invented day (yes, I know it's Mothering Sunday, and a return to the "mother church", but that's not what the OP is about).

Totally agree. These stupid fucking days are invented to make money and make people feel bad. And I’m a mum.

rosemarble · 29/03/2025 20:34

My response depends entirely on how old the children are.

If they are tiny and need help to get you something then he absolutely should be doing so, especially if they are old enough to be aware of Mother's Day.

If they are old enough to make a card, get to a shop or ask your partner to help them, then it's on them.

Stripeyanddotty · 29/03/2025 20:37

How long have you been in a relationship with him?

RosesAndHellebores · 29/03/2025 20:38

@Blondeshavemorefun - we met once at a meet-up in Pimlico. Can't remember what my user name was back then. May be 10 years ago. Zombie and Fru (RIP) BBB, marriednotdead and a dozen others were there.

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/03/2025 20:41

RosesAndHellebores · 29/03/2025 20:38

@Blondeshavemorefun - we met once at a meet-up in Pimlico. Can't remember what my user name was back then. May be 10 years ago. Zombie and Fru (RIP) BBB, marriednotdead and a dozen others were there.

I have a vague drunken memories of London meets via mn 😂

prob more like 13yrs ago as was when I was with my 1st dh /unless the year when he died but wasn’t when I was with my now ex 2nd dh

Daisy12Maisie · 29/03/2025 20:42

Its meant to be the kids do something for you. Not your boyfriend do something. If you live together and he is step dad to your kids then yes it would be nice if he helped them get a card and maybe some chocolates but if he isn’t in a step dad role then it would be strange for him to get you a present. Can’t you just make a nice tradition with the kids? That would be more meaningful anyway.
A walk somewhere nice? Make cupcakes or whatever you and they would enjoy.

crystalmamma · 29/03/2025 20:44

I think if a couple of quid on a card would make your partner happy why not get them one?

User5274959 · 29/03/2025 20:44

Did you do something for him for Father's Day? If so, don't do that again.

On paper it does seem a bit silly and why should he mark it with you. But I do get where you're coming from. It would be nice for him to acknowledge that facet of you and you as a mother.

RosesAndHellebores · 29/03/2025 20:47

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/03/2025 20:41

I have a vague drunken memories of London meets via mn 😂

prob more like 13yrs ago as was when I was with my 1st dh /unless the year when he died but wasn’t when I was with my now ex 2nd dh

Show quote history

Those were the days! So sorry to hear things have been rough x

Growlybear83 · 29/03/2025 20:54

Of course you’re being unreasonable. As others have said, you’re not his mother. It’s one thing to expect your children to make you a card or pick you a bunch of flowers from the garden, but it’s ridiculous to expect your partner to buy you a mothers’ day present.

CraneBeak · 29/03/2025 20:56

YABU. You're not his mum.

Original poster
bananahammok · 29/03/2025 20:57

@PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt@SoScarletItWasmy daughter is 4, his kids are 12 and 16

OP posts:
Stripeyanddotty · 29/03/2025 20:58

What about your 5 year old twins?

BananaSpanner · 29/03/2025 20:59

If he lives with you and your daughter, it would have been nice if he took her to buy a card for you but if he doesn’t then he hasn’t done anything wrong.

CarpetKnees · 29/03/2025 21:01

Yes, YABU.

TwistedWonder · 29/03/2025 21:02

Stripeyanddotty · 29/03/2025 20:58

What about your 5 year old twins?

And the baby she had after lockdown

Stripeyanddotty · 29/03/2025 21:04

Not to mention the fact she’s only been with him 6 months ..