Page 4 | Cheating need opinions

mumoftwoboys321 · 2025-03-28T10:55:51+00:00

just curious if you found out your partner was a scum bag and cheating would you tell the other persons partner??

OchreRaven · 17/04/2025 13:05

@mumoftwoboys321 how are you doing? Did things go to plan last weekend?

Original poster

mumoftwoboys321 · 17/04/2025 16:02

Not great but I’ll get there thank you, not quite to plan my family went away for the weekend but I’ve got my hours changed at work starting next week and I’m going to my mums this weekend he’s going to his mums he’ll find out Saturday that he’s not coming back here as can do that without the boys seeing it as they are at their Nan’s from later today, just wish my heart could feel the same way my head does

OP posts:

notatinydancer · 17/04/2025 17:43

Yep. With proof though so they couldn’t wriggle out of it and bear in mind they might shoot the messenger.

SonofDeva · 08/06/2025 12:45

mumoftwoboys321
A bit late to this thread, I just hope you managed, or on the way to, sorting things out for your children and you!

Don't let the bastards grind you down!!

OchreRaven · 08/06/2025 12:59

@mumoftwoboys321 how are you doing?

Original poster

mumoftwoboys321 · 12/06/2025 21:49

OchreRaven · 08/06/2025 12:59

@mumoftwoboys321 how are you doing?

Have good and bad days seems to be a bad week at the moment so much going on in my head trying to figure out how I got everything so wrong doesn’t help had so many things planned for this year that keep coming up and not happening now just find this so heartbreaking. Just want it to stop.

OP posts:

0hs0tired · 12/06/2025 22:07

I've just caught up with your thread. I'm sorry you feel so down. How did he take everything? You've been so strong, it may not feel like it, but you have and are. The future plans may sting, but can they be arranged for you and your DCs?

Original poster

mumoftwoboys321 · 13/06/2025 07:10

0hs0tired · 12/06/2025 22:07

I've just caught up with your thread. I'm sorry you feel so down. How did he take everything? You've been so strong, it may not feel like it, but you have and are. The future plans may sting, but can they be arranged for you and your DCs?

Buried his head in the sand gave a few explanations and then hoped I’d shut up about it all. Most of the things we had planned and booked he had paid majority for so that’s them out the window.
just going one day at a time and hoping the pain of all this will ease just feel so stupid for giving him 18 years for him to throw it all away might be easier to understand if there had been real problems or crap times but there wasn’t which just hurts even more

OP posts:

AnonAnonmystery · 13/06/2025 07:39

It’s a shame that although he booked and paid for trips ect that he just didn’t let you just go with the kids. It’s the least he could do really.

OchreRaven · 13/06/2025 07:54

What’s the situation? Is he still living in the home with you? Are you separated or
are you together but unhappy?

Sorry it wasn’t clear from your update.

Im so sorry you are going through this. Remember this is not because of you. It’s a weakness in him. Do you have much support in real life?

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 13/06/2025 08:03

I'm so sorry this has happened to you OP. I'm in a similar boat, but I was told of previous cheating by my ex's AP's partner and I did really appreciate being told.

Original poster

mumoftwoboys321 · 13/06/2025 08:58

AnonAnonmystery · 13/06/2025 07:39

It’s a shame that although he booked and paid for trips ect that he just didn’t let you just go with the kids. It’s the least he could do really.

he was going to do that with the main trip we booked but now says if I want it I have to buy him out or he’ll buy me out he knows I haven’t got that sort of money laying around

OP posts:

Original poster

mumoftwoboys321 · 13/06/2025 09:03

OchreRaven · 13/06/2025 07:54

What’s the situation? Is he still living in the home with you? Are you separated or
are you together but unhappy?

Sorry it wasn’t clear from your update.

Im so sorry you are going through this. Remember this is not because of you. It’s a weakness in him. Do you have much support in real life?

He’s at his mums as far as I know still sees the boys a few times a week. I have some support but haven’t told them the whole story as it just makes me feel so worthless and stupid.
not the first this has happened to and won’t be the last but whilst the life I cherished has crumbled just feel so alone and sad
I’ve got my boys and for them we are finding our new normal and they only get to see the strong happy me save the mess for when I’m alone

OP posts:

OchreRaven · 13/06/2025 09:50

You are doing amazingly. It’s still
early days and your whole world and future has changed. But how he is acting about the trips is who he is. He is the one in the wrong, he ruined your family for a shag, and he doesn’t even have the decency to give you the trip he’s already paid for, which would benefit your kids more than you, because he wants to hurt you for not putting up with his behaviour.

When you really look at it, there is no way your relationship would have been a happy one long term. He’s an awful, selfish person. One day you will be so proud of yourself for letting him go. You get to build your new life on a solid foundation without worrying he could destroy everything with one selfish action.

He won’t change. He will move on, and cheat again. He’s the type.

Gonk123 · 13/06/2025 09:52

Right, get yourself some plans made girl! Don’t be getting yourself upset over what you were supposed to be doing, get excited for what you are doing. Trips out with the kids don’t have to be expensive. There have been some lovely days to go to a special park and take a picnic and run around like loonies together. Walks in the woods are healing and pleasant. Kids love it. Get some music blasting and cook your favourite meal. Arrange a night out with friends. Have a movie night and all fall sleep on the sofa. If you can manage a weekend break with the kids, get yourselves off or at least a day trip to the beach if you can.
you didn’t do anything wrong. You were a faithful and doting wife. You’re not a failure. So don’t think like that. You haven’t wasted 18 years on anything, you’ve had a marriage that just didn’t stand the test of time. Don’t look at it the way you are - change your perception and you will feel so much better. You’ve got this x

Original poster

mumoftwoboys321 · 13/06/2025 10:36

OchreRaven · 13/06/2025 09:50

You are doing amazingly. It’s still
early days and your whole world and future has changed. But how he is acting about the trips is who he is. He is the one in the wrong, he ruined your family for a shag, and he doesn’t even have the decency to give you the trip he’s already paid for, which would benefit your kids more than you, because he wants to hurt you for not putting up with his behaviour.

When you really look at it, there is no way your relationship would have been a happy one long term. He’s an awful, selfish person. One day you will be so proud of yourself for letting him go. You get to build your new life on a solid foundation without worrying he could destroy everything with one selfish action.

He won’t change. He will move on, and cheat again. He’s the type.

Thank you I’ll get there eventually and as much as I know this is all on him can’t help but wonder why I wasn’t enough but as I keep telling myself it’s him that loses and one day I will feel whole again

OP posts:

Original poster

mumoftwoboys321 · 13/06/2025 10:37

Gonk123 · 13/06/2025 09:52

Right, get yourself some plans made girl! Don’t be getting yourself upset over what you were supposed to be doing, get excited for what you are doing. Trips out with the kids don’t have to be expensive. There have been some lovely days to go to a special park and take a picnic and run around like loonies together. Walks in the woods are healing and pleasant. Kids love it. Get some music blasting and cook your favourite meal. Arrange a night out with friends. Have a movie night and all fall sleep on the sofa. If you can manage a weekend break with the kids, get yourselves off or at least a day trip to the beach if you can.
you didn’t do anything wrong. You were a faithful and doting wife. You’re not a failure. So don’t think like that. You haven’t wasted 18 years on anything, you’ve had a marriage that just didn’t stand the test of time. Don’t look at it the way you are - change your perception and you will feel so much better. You’ve got this x

Edited

Thank you me and the boys are going to make some plans this weekend for some things we would like to do and start creating new happy memories together

OP posts:

AnonAnonmystery · 13/06/2025 11:28

@mumoftwoboys321 you are enough! Plenty infact! Most men just cheat because they can, it’s no way a reflection on you ❤️

0hs0tired · 13/06/2025 13:06

I'm so sorry that he is being this way. I came on to say the exact ssme things @OchreRaven and @Gonk123 said. You are the one that is going to make your family life great. I think you were probably always the one who did anyway. He no longer gets that, you are full and he is hollow, even if it doesn't feel like that right now.

Original poster

mumoftwoboys321 · 13/06/2025 13:20

AnonAnonmystery · 13/06/2025 11:28

@mumoftwoboys321 you are enough! Plenty infact! Most men just cheat because they can, it’s no way a reflection on you ❤️

Thank you

OP posts:

Original poster

mumoftwoboys321 · 13/06/2025 13:21

0hs0tired · 13/06/2025 13:06

I'm so sorry that he is being this way. I came on to say the exact ssme things @OchreRaven and @Gonk123 said. You are the one that is going to make your family life great. I think you were probably always the one who did anyway. He no longer gets that, you are full and he is hollow, even if it doesn't feel like that right now.

Thank you I will get there eventually never thought I’d be going through this but Iam and will find a new happy place and eventually bury all the ugliness he has put in my head

OP posts:

SonofDeva · 13/06/2025 13:37

@mumoftwoboys321 I wish you the very best of luck! Take care ❤️