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Original poster

Social services after alleged DV

76 replies

Emrose88 · 25/03/2025 19:26

Hi,
I just wanted to get some advice. A couple of days ago me and my partner got into a row in which the police was called by a neighbour and had told them he had kicked in my head Infront of my children- this did not happen at all and other people in the house to witness this. However when the police came round they was question the adults in the house Infront of the children about the allegations. My youngest (4 year old) hears absolutely everything. My partner has been NFA'd but a DVPO has been set for a breather. Today social services came round and question my children and my 4 year old told her that I was kicked in the head but this is because she heard what the police was saying, my eldest daughter (8) told the social worker that did not happen and it was an argument but the social worker kept dismissing her and wouldn't let her talk as she just wanted to listen to my youngest. Can SW even be asking my 4 year old things like that. I would have thought that they would have been spoken to separately. Now I'm made to look like a liar as the SW didn't speak to me after and just left so I could say that's what the police were asking. Where do I go from here? Please just advice as I know the argument wasn't good for the police to have been called in the first place. They have also said that my child l witnessed this but there is no way they can see into my house with the angle its facing

OP posts:
workshy46 · 25/03/2025 19:30

I don't know where to start here. To have an argument so bad that the police are called and in the same house as your children. God I absolutely pity them.. they have no hope in life and are doomed to repeat the cycle you have laid out for them. Id say get out of the relationship, do the freedom program, stay single etc etc etc but I'm guessing none of that is going to happen based on your post.

gamerchick · 25/03/2025 19:30

You're focusing on the wrong things OP. You had a row with your husband so fierce with kids in the house that the police were called. Instead of being indignant about details, you need to think about getting a calm house going for your children.

Big rows don't say compatibility with someone.

rubyslippers · 25/03/2025 19:32

The row was that bad the police were called and attended?!
that’s the issue
Your poor kids
how are they doing? They must be very distressed

Maitri108 · 25/03/2025 19:35

OP what's going on? Perhaps you can get some advice.

Is your partner aggressive? Do you often have big rows?

For the neighbour to have heard the row, it must have been loud. Your children seem to have witnessed the row.

Would you like some advice on the situation?

BodenCardiganNot · 25/03/2025 19:41

My partner has been NFA'd but a DVPO has been set for a breather.

A Domestic Violence Protection Order is not just 'for a breather'.
https://liverpooldomesticabuseservice.org.uk/what-is-a-domestic-violence-protection-order-dvpo/

Original poster
Emrose88 · 25/03/2025 19:41

BodenCardiganNot · 25/03/2025 19:41

My partner has been NFA'd but a DVPO has been set for a breather.

A Domestic Violence Protection Order is not just 'for a breather'.
https://liverpooldomesticabuseservice.org.uk/what-is-a-domestic-violence-protection-order-dvpo/

Police words not mine

OP posts:
BodenCardiganNot · 25/03/2025 19:42

Fair enough.
How are your children? Is he their father?

Mrsttcno1 · 25/03/2025 19:42

Time to pack your bags and leave OP.

Original poster
Emrose88 · 25/03/2025 19:43

rubyslippers · 25/03/2025 19:32

The row was that bad the police were called and attended?!
that’s the issue
Your poor kids
how are they doing? They must be very distressed

Children are absolutely fine, I will follow every ss tell me to do. They was in bed at the time but then with the commotion of the police it then scared them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Emrose88 · 25/03/2025 19:43

BodenCardiganNot · 25/03/2025 19:42

Fair enough.
How are your children? Is he their father?

They are absolutely heartbroken that he's not here, yes he's their father

OP posts:
andweallsingalong · 25/03/2025 19:44

For a dvpo to be in place the courts decided it was more likely than not that violence towards you happened. You and your P had the opportunity to go to trial and deny it.

Please access support and think carefully about the lives you want for your children.

Original poster
Emrose88 · 25/03/2025 19:46

andweallsingalong · 25/03/2025 19:44

For a dvpo to be in place the courts decided it was more likely than not that violence towards you happened. You and your P had the opportunity to go to trial and deny it.

Please access support and think carefully about the lives you want for your children.

There was never a trial, partner arrived at the court today to give his evidence.

OP posts:
Uricon2 · 25/03/2025 19:51

Emrose88 · 25/03/2025 19:43

Children are absolutely fine, I will follow every ss tell me to do. They was in bed at the time but then with the commotion of the police it then scared them.

Show quote history

I'm telling you now that in bed or not they'd have heard it, a row so loud someone called the police. I was bought up in quite a big house but still heard every word of my parents (very frequent) arguments.

Please don't delude yourself that it was the police showing up that scared them

Smallmercies · 25/03/2025 19:52

OP did you grow up in a violent household?

fraughtcouture · 25/03/2025 19:54

Your children are not fine. You and your partner had an argument so volatile and violent the police were called. Can you really not see how damaging that is for them?!

But of course it’s the neighbours’ fault for calling them.

Jesus Christ, drag your standards for your home and yourself up.

andweallsingalong · 25/03/2025 19:55

Emrose88 · 25/03/2025 19:46

There was never a trial, partner arrived at the court today to give his evidence.

Show quote history

That's a trial. Police say their bit. Partner replies. You could speak too. Then the judiciary decide to a civil standard whether it happened or not and give a verdict.

For a contested (with a trial) DVPO to be granted that means court were very sure something happened to you.

Mrsttcno1 · 25/03/2025 19:56

If this isn’t the wake up call to get out for the sake of your kids OP I don’t know what is

andweallsingalong · 25/03/2025 19:57

Partner would also have had the opportunity to use a solicitor to be very clear what was going on and to support him making his most compelling argument.

Original poster
Emrose88 · 25/03/2025 20:00

fraughtcouture · 25/03/2025 19:54

Your children are not fine. You and your partner had an argument so volatile and violent the police were called. Can you really not see how damaging that is for them?!

But of course it’s the neighbours’ fault for calling them.

Jesus Christ, drag your standards for your home and yourself up.

Wooo hang on you don't know me and our home life I was simply coming on here for some advise about SW questioning my 4 year old that way she did. My kids are fine and I have made sure so after a lot of conversations. I'm not down playing the argument I know it was completely wrong

OP posts:
Original poster
Emrose88 · 25/03/2025 20:01

andweallsingalong · 25/03/2025 19:55

That's a trial. Police say their bit. Partner replies. You could speak too. Then the judiciary decide to a civil standard whether it happened or not and give a verdict.

For a contested (with a trial) DVPO to be granted that means court were very sure something happened to you.

Show quote history

The officer told me not to bother going otherwise I would have gone

OP posts:
Maitri108 · 25/03/2025 20:02

Emrose88 · 25/03/2025 19:43

Children are absolutely fine, I will follow every ss tell me to do. They was in bed at the time but then with the commotion of the police it then scared them.

Show quote history

If they were in bed, why were the police questioning them on whether you were attacked?

Arcticrival · 25/03/2025 20:05

Your children are not fine. They are living in a house with arguments so loud the neighbours call the police. Have you any idea how scary that must be for them. Or maybe they are so used to it it is normal for them and they are not scared. Which in itself is worse. As a pp asked did u grow up in a violent hh so u think this is normal. Be assured it's far from normal.

I dint think you realise the seriousness of your situation. Police were invoked. Ss are niw involved. Your partner has a dv record. Your children are at risk. Ss may well seek a care order and remove them from you. If you do not chuck him out. Will you get rid of him to keep your children?

Endofyear · 25/03/2025 20:05

SS are trying to assess whether your children are at risk. And rightly so if their parents are engaging in arguments so loudly that the neighbours have called the police. No-one can tell you what further action will be taken by SS but I would suggest that you are fully co-operative rather than criticising the way your children were spoken to. Has there been a history of DV in your relationship or previous relationships? Is this the first time your arguments with your partner have escalated to this level? Were you both drinking/under the influence of any other substances?

Original poster
Emrose88 · 25/03/2025 20:10

Arcticrival · 25/03/2025 20:05

Your children are not fine. They are living in a house with arguments so loud the neighbours call the police. Have you any idea how scary that must be for them. Or maybe they are so used to it it is normal for them and they are not scared. Which in itself is worse. As a pp asked did u grow up in a violent hh so u think this is normal. Be assured it's far from normal.

I dint think you realise the seriousness of your situation. Police were invoked. Ss are niw involved. Your partner has a dv record. Your children are at risk. Ss may well seek a care order and remove them from you. If you do not chuck him out. Will you get rid of him to keep your children?

Absolutely no questions asked

OP posts:
Original poster
Emrose88 · 25/03/2025 20:14

Endofyear · 25/03/2025 20:05

SS are trying to assess whether your children are at risk. And rightly so if their parents are engaging in arguments so loudly that the neighbours have called the police. No-one can tell you what further action will be taken by SS but I would suggest that you are fully co-operative rather than criticising the way your children were spoken to. Has there been a history of DV in your relationship or previous relationships? Is this the first time your arguments with your partner have escalated to this level? Were you both drinking/under the influence of any other substances?

No arguments have never got this level before. He was out and I was sat at home with his sister having a drink (I very rarely drink) it's was the most stupidest of arguments that just got too much. I will do everything they say. I wasn't criticising them however the depth they questioned my 4 year old I feel was too much she has no idea what they was asking but my 8 year old did and she was trying to tell her but SW just didn't listen to her

OP posts:
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