Dating an older man with a young child

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Hi everyone !
so I met someone 3 weeks ago he’s 58 and I am 51, we swapped numbers and started speaking on WhatsApp. His profile picture is of a young girl who I assumed was his granddaughter anyway it turned out to be his 5 year old daughter 😳
a week into the relationship he had his daughter for the weekend and asked for me to join them on a day out to a kids inflatable park, I said I wasn’t able to go but in the end I did. My own children are 31, 25 who do not live at home anymore and my youngest girls are 17, 13 and 12 so I have had quite a few years of having a taste of my own freedom back from dependant children.
the following week he says he has booked time off work to have his daughter through the school holidays and that his ex partner wanted to go away for a week so he will be having his daughter then too he also has her every fortnight Friday til the Sunday
i just didn’t feel like I wanted to go back down that route with young children again especially when he has asked me to go to his as he had his daughter there again I declined and he said his daughter needs to get used to me ! We have only been dating 4 weeks !
what would you do if it was your situation would you choose to end the relationship all advice would be gratefully accepted thankyou in advance !

Would not touch with a barge pole personally

I would run!

He shouldn’t involve his daughter with his dates. I’d run a mile.

I’m also in my 50s and would not be interested in any sort of man with a 5yr old

if you like him I’d overlook it

He is a really nice man but it’s only early days so I can’t say if it will go anywhere I don’t mean to come across as being selfish but the thought of not having much time together as he works nights also without having his daughter along side is not what I envisaged in dating at my own age let alone his

Feels too soon. Try to see him only when she isn’t there and remind him u want to take it slowly as it is not fair on the child if she gets to know u and then u split up.

Trying to get you to meet his daughter so soon is a red flag, sounds like rather than looking to romance you he’s looking for a woman to palm off childcare to.

That is exactly what I thought myself ! He even said when he goes to the gym he leaves “the baby” with his 80 odd year old mum and now she’s struggling herself as she now has to use. Walking stick to get around I seen the red flags flying everywhere my response was “oh I don’t know what you’re going to do there you’ll have to ask your son” his son is 34 married with 2 young children of the same age as his own daughter I just couldn’t believe any of it I genuinely thought she was his granddaughter at first

Run. Fast.

He isn’t that nice though, is he. How many “step mothers” has this girl already had.
He really isn’t thinking of her at all, and his wheedling you into a parenting role is frankly grim

I’d run a mile.

Anyone who introduces someone they met 3/4 weeks ago to their child is one to run away from.

You don't even have to get onto the age issues.

He's a selfish, irresponsible man introducing his young child to people so soon. He doesn't know you.

I wouldn't trust his judgement. It's one thing to have a baby in your fifties, but introducing her to someone you're dating after knowing them for barely any time at all makes me think he isn't the full shilling. I would throw this one back!

Hes looking for a nanny with a fanny. And he leaves the kid with his 80 year old mum. Whos not going to be able to chase after the kid if the kid decides to run into the road. Hes irresponsible

He even said when he goes to the gym he leaves “the baby” with his 80 odd year old mum and now she’s struggling herself as she now has to use. Walking stick to get around

🚩

RUN AWAY FAST!

End it ..it's already irritating you after 4 weeks so long term that will turn into resentment. You already know it's not the relationship you want ? start looking for a relationship that meets where you are in life.
P.s. don't make assumptions re: pictures. in the future ask questions

He's looking for a bangsitter to do his childcare for him. Run like the wind.

4 weeks. He doesn't even know you and he's rushing you meeting his 5 year old.

🚫⛔🚮

He shouldn’t be introducing his daughter to random women. That is enough of a red flag.

I wouldn’t want to restart with a child that age in my household either.

He's not nice is he though, not really.

He has poor boundaries about who he let's in his daughters life because it suits HIM.
He leaves his 80yr old mother who has mobility problems to babysit a 5yr old instead of someone more suitable or paid childcare because it suits HIM.

This man only thinks of himself, he's trying to rope you in as childcare.

Just block and delete the CFs number.

Run run as fast as you can

His dd does NOT need to get used to you, you've only been dating a couple of weeks. He's lining you up to be a free babysitter.

I'd decline politely and make it clear that you will NOT being playing stepmum, or just look for someone else to date.

I agree with the other comments,

He is looking for a nanny,

what a twat

Nanny with a fanny. That sounds about right.
He is an absolute CF leaving ‘the baby’ with his mum as well.

I’m in my 50’d and I wouldn’t touch a man who has school age kids with a barge pole. It’s an absolute deal breaker for me.

My own DS is an adult now and I’ve done my time revolving life around child care and school holidays.

It’s my time now and I couldn’t go back to dealing with kids again - unless I’m a gran one day.

I also think he’s very wrong to introduce you so soon.

Run, run and run some more!