Found out a newish friend smokes crack - wwyd?

[Dooberryraspberry]

So I made friends with an older woman last year and in particular started to ride her horses as she'd broken her leg. I adore the horses and see her and them three times a week.

Now, no judgement, this woman is late 50s and a traveller, can't read or write. She'd told me in chats she used to be a heroine addict and I'd noted an alcohol problem but frankly it's none of my business if she wants to drink special brew at 9am. I grew up with alcoholics and know not to get involved/try to help/change or enable.

We get on well and I adore the horses, it gives me a much needed break from real life problems!

However she recently admitted she likes smoking a crack pipe. I realised that when she says she's "going for a wee" at the stables, she is in fact having a quick smoke.

Now I feel really uneasy. The horses are well cared for and I like going there etc. But should I cut ties/withdraw from the relationship?

I have said to my DH I won't take my daughter up there and will be careful, but is there any other precaustion I should be taking?

'IF' things go bad!?

She's an addict OP so bearing that in mind don't trust her, don't rely on her and be prepared for her lying and stealing from you.

Also don't give her your address or show any indication of wealth, no matter how small.

This advice is because she's an addict, not because she's a traveller before anyone gets on their high horse

I don't understand how her taking drugs affects you unless you let it.
What she does is her business. Just don't make it your business!

This is exactly what I was going to post.

Horsey people gossip, you'll get a reputation just by being with her.

She may seem nice and caring but she could turn and you don't want your family involved in that drama. Honestly OP walk away now.

No slow fades.

There are so many completely naive responses on this thread.

It’s CRACK….its not weed,powder cocaine or mdma!!!

Cut ties! This new pal sounds like she'll become a big headache sooner rather than later. Mates with a crackhead?!? No, thanks.

I am also prepared to bet that she's underplayed her habit to you. Crack isn't like coke - you can't dabble in it.

An alcoholic who smokes crack.

You need to get rid of this friend.

The phrase damning with faint praise springs to mind- she’s not violent!! That’s quite a low bar.

I found out one of my close friends uses crack. Yes, it was a shock, you would never expect it from her.

I chose to do nothing, she never does it around me and we were friends for 3 years before i found out.

She clearly is a functioning addict, but has always been lovely to me. No diffrent to when i didn't know. None of the horror potential things mentioned in this thread has ever happened.

Why do you have to confront her? That’s getting into saving territory.

It all made sense when you said you were the child of alcoholics. OP, you see some things as normal - such as drinking in the early morning - that would have most people running for the hills. But crack? Surely you can see you need to distance yourself from her.

I wonder whether you have a saviour complex from your childhood. You realise you can't save her but your focus is on the horses. The fact is that she's got access to them 24/7 and you haven't. If you suspect she's abusing or neglecting them in any way you need to report it to the NSPCA.

Take care of yourself. I'm worried your boundaries are skewed because of your childhood.

@chaiformeplease crack and coke is a very different ball game. Crack is more along the lines of heroin and not like a party bag of coke you snort.

It's a hard one.
Some addicts can be perfectly nice functioning people. I echo what others have said nothing worth stealing on you. Even be careful about jewellery on show. How on earth did this situation come about?

I can't find the post about confronting the lady but don't do this.

Either accept her as she is with strong boundaries and continue your arrangement to see her horses or don't. You can review that as you go.

Her drug use/ addition isn't your issue to solve. I just wouldn't get that involved in her life outside the horses and a bit of polite chat.

I think some people on here have no experience of addicts. Not saying any drug is great to be around, I'm anti- them all, but personally, I'd have more time for a functioning crack or heroin user than a regular coke head as an acquaintance.

People will definitely know. It absolutely stinks.

I grew up with alcoholics too. Which is why I don’t spend time with people who make alcohol or drugs a major part of their lives.

if she is doing drugs while you are there, she is a heavy user, not just a rare recreational user. You are setting yourself up for problems.

I don't think it's worth all the potential problems that could arise.

For example, at the tame end, what if she asks you to lend her a tenner? how would you handle that?

She’s a crack addict. I would be walking away now.

You proved my point, it doesnt exist no matter how people dress it up

Perhaps she gets it from Who Gives A Crack.

Yeah - if you don't have to get involved in this, why would you? I had a work colleague I was getting on with really well a couple of years ago, who turned out to have a really serious drink problem - once the scale of it became clear to me, I ran a mile. I just don't need that drama, and there's absolutely nothing I could do to help.

Absolutely, It would be a no from me too...

Saviour complex with the "therapy" horses. OP likes this drama.

Smoking crack cocaine is very different from snorting a line.

I have a few friends who smoke crack. I don't think it would it would change my relationship with a friend loads to hear this (other than to be sorry that they have been caught by this monster). It would change my relationship if the addiction started to have any kind of impact on me/our relationship though, and I might (and do) adjust things to make sure that it didn't as and where relevant. If you like her and get a lot out of being with the horses I don;t see any immediate reason to end the relationship.