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Original poster

Ghosted…rejected…whatever it’s called, it hurts!!

67 replies

SingleRoo123 · 22/03/2025 01:17

Hi 👋 I left a very long term relationship a couple of years ago. My ex partner was mentally abusive, he would play mind games and put me down, saying I wasn’t worthy and no one else would want me (nice guy eh?!). My confidence was shattered. I didn’t bother with anyone as I was focusing on navigating a new life as a single parent of two kids, two dogs and a fish 🤣 Anyway, I gave myself some time and as the dust settled, I met a guy at work. We got on really well, spoke every day. I didn’t get too attached as he was a casual and I knew he was leaving plus we worked together so nothing could happen. When he left we exchanged numbers. We texted, chatted about anything and everything. There was an obvious attraction on both sides and texts became a bit flirty. We agreed to meet up, it was so good to see him as I hadn’t seen him for a couple of months and one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. When we parted he said he would text me but guess what…nothing. I am beyond devastated. I’ve texted a couple of times, just mundane stuff, nothing clingy or desperate and still nothing. I’m upset at the fact we have built up this friendship/relationship for about eight months, we sleep together and then I am rejected. Has he played me for months and months just to get me into bed?! I don’t understand it at all. That’s a hefty long game to play for half an hour of fun. I’ve obviously developed an attachment as this is hurting me, it is physically hurting. I am struggling to eat and I am on the verge of tears constantly. I just don’t understand how someone can just toss another person to one side and not even have the decency to contact them. All I wanted was a hi how are you message but I haven’t even had that. I feel like such a fool, a pathetic fool. The rejection is awful. Please don’t judge me for sleeping with him, I feel bad enough 😭 Thanks for reading my tale of woe 🥲 x

OP posts:
mummypigoink · 22/03/2025 01:21

It’s the most pathetic, shitty behaviour but it really does sting. I absolutely promise you, you will quickly realise this is the human version of the rubbish taking itself out.

BlueBurys · 22/03/2025 01:26

Did you sleep with him the first night you met up? Can’t really be surprised if so? Cue all the women claiming they slept with their husbands the first night and have been married 20 years! Yeah that was a long time ago and it’s the exception most guys you won’t hear from again.

Original poster
SingleRoo123 · 22/03/2025 01:31

mummypigoink · 22/03/2025 01:21

It’s the most pathetic, shitty behaviour but it really does sting. I absolutely promise you, you will quickly realise this is the human version of the rubbish taking itself out.

Edited

I’ve very clearly had a lucky escape. You’re so right, it stings so much 😔

OP posts:
Original poster
SingleRoo123 · 22/03/2025 01:36

BlueBurys · 22/03/2025 01:26

Did you sleep with him the first night you met up? Can’t really be surprised if so? Cue all the women claiming they slept with their husbands the first night and have been married 20 years! Yeah that was a long time ago and it’s the exception most guys you won’t hear from again.

Yeah first night we met up after not seeing him for a couple of months. Judge away, I am judging myself at this point. In my defence though, we knew each other for months prior, I spent every day with him. I’m a complete and utter fool.

OP posts:
NatureOverNightclubs · 22/03/2025 02:11

You're not a fool OP as long as you DON'T message him again and don't judge yourself. You slept with someone you knew at work and had more communication with for months after, there's literally nothing to be judged for. I'd be very hurt too. He's not worth it but ghosting is really, really cruel x

Original poster
SingleRoo123 · 22/03/2025 02:17

NatureOverNightclubs · 22/03/2025 02:11

You're not a fool OP as long as you DON'T message him again and don't judge yourself. You slept with someone you knew at work and had more communication with for months after, there's literally nothing to be judged for. I'd be very hurt too. He's not worth it but ghosting is really, really cruel x

Thank you for not judging 🩵 It has honestly gutted me. I did send one more message saying I was disappointed in him but said I wished him well for the future but he won’t be hearing from me again. I felt better for sending the message because I felt like I had scraped a bit of control back but I’m now sitting here crying over it again x

OP posts:
MarkingBad · 22/03/2025 02:29

Yes some men do string you along for months on end, have sex with you once or twice and then ghost. The excitement of the chase is over they got what they wanted, then move on to someone else.

You couldn't possibly know beforehand that they might do this, some are very good at it. It's not your fault, just chalk it up to experience and be glad he didn't stick around because he's just shown you he wasn't worthy of you.

NoWayNoandNever · 22/03/2025 02:30

Don’t cry, rejection is such a horrible feeling but this will pass and in time you will wonder why you cared so much. He will probably pop back up at some point with his tail between his legs to try it on again and you can look forward to telling him where to go. Be kind to yourself in the meantime and try to distract from the situation. Maybe put your phone away somewhere and watch or read something else so you aren’t checking for messages and think of something nice you can do for yourself tomorrow.

Original poster
SingleRoo123 · 22/03/2025 02:39

MarkingBad · 22/03/2025 02:29

Yes some men do string you along for months on end, have sex with you once or twice and then ghost. The excitement of the chase is over they got what they wanted, then move on to someone else.

You couldn't possibly know beforehand that they might do this, some are very good at it. It's not your fault, just chalk it up to experience and be glad he didn't stick around because he's just shown you he wasn't worthy of you.

Edited

I am shocked that some men can do this. I was with my ex for over 20 years so I’m not just out of the game, I’ve never really been in it. I settled with my ex very young. Unfortunately this is my first experience since embarking on my new single life 😖 Thank you for your reply x

OP posts:
Original poster
SingleRoo123 · 22/03/2025 02:45

NoWayNoandNever · 22/03/2025 02:30

Don’t cry, rejection is such a horrible feeling but this will pass and in time you will wonder why you cared so much. He will probably pop back up at some point with his tail between his legs to try it on again and you can look forward to telling him where to go. Be kind to yourself in the meantime and try to distract from the situation. Maybe put your phone away somewhere and watch or read something else so you aren’t checking for messages and think of something nice you can do for yourself tomorrow.

It’s an awful feeling. I have put my phone away most nights, I’m sick of checking. I keep going over the messages we sent back and forth trying to find anything that he said that would indicate he was only after one thing and I honestly can’t see anything. He may pop up again but he’s probably moved onto his next unsuspecting victim.

OP posts:
Middlechild3 · 22/03/2025 02:52

SingleRoo123 · 22/03/2025 01:17

Hi 👋 I left a very long term relationship a couple of years ago. My ex partner was mentally abusive, he would play mind games and put me down, saying I wasn’t worthy and no one else would want me (nice guy eh?!). My confidence was shattered. I didn’t bother with anyone as I was focusing on navigating a new life as a single parent of two kids, two dogs and a fish 🤣 Anyway, I gave myself some time and as the dust settled, I met a guy at work. We got on really well, spoke every day. I didn’t get too attached as he was a casual and I knew he was leaving plus we worked together so nothing could happen. When he left we exchanged numbers. We texted, chatted about anything and everything. There was an obvious attraction on both sides and texts became a bit flirty. We agreed to meet up, it was so good to see him as I hadn’t seen him for a couple of months and one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. When we parted he said he would text me but guess what…nothing. I am beyond devastated. I’ve texted a couple of times, just mundane stuff, nothing clingy or desperate and still nothing. I’m upset at the fact we have built up this friendship/relationship for about eight months, we sleep together and then I am rejected. Has he played me for months and months just to get me into bed?! I don’t understand it at all. That’s a hefty long game to play for half an hour of fun. I’ve obviously developed an attachment as this is hurting me, it is physically hurting. I am struggling to eat and I am on the verge of tears constantly. I just don’t understand how someone can just toss another person to one side and not even have the decency to contact them. All I wanted was a hi how are you message but I haven’t even had that. I feel like such a fool, a pathetic fool. The rejection is awful. Please don’t judge me for sleeping with him, I feel bad enough 😭 Thanks for reading my tale of woe 🥲 x

Aw he's a shit and you deserve better. Delete/block his number.

MarkingBad · 22/03/2025 02:56

SingleRoo123 · 22/03/2025 02:39

I am shocked that some men can do this. I was with my ex for over 20 years so I’m not just out of the game, I’ve never really been in it. I settled with my ex very young. Unfortunately this is my first experience since embarking on my new single life 😖 Thank you for your reply x

Show quote history

I wish I didn't know because I held out for 18 months thinking I didn't want to get involved with anyone at the time then one day I was feeling vulnerable. When I bumped into him a couple of days later and asked if he wanted to do something together he said no I'd given him a long hard chase which he appreciated because that's all he wanted.

Original poster
SingleRoo123 · 22/03/2025 03:01

MarkingBad · 22/03/2025 02:56

I wish I didn't know because I held out for 18 months thinking I didn't want to get involved with anyone at the time then one day I was feeling vulnerable. When I bumped into him a couple of days later and asked if he wanted to do something together he said no I'd given him a long hard chase which he appreciated because that's all he wanted.

Show quote history

I’m sorry that happened, It’s the absolute pits isn’t it?! It’s the disregard for someone’s feelings that astounds me. I know not all men are shits but so far I’ve not had the best experiences.

OP posts:
Gremlins101 · 22/03/2025 03:07

I'm so sorry, that absolutely stinks!!
Sounds like you've been through the shit.
Go treat yourself. I wish I'd treated myself more when dealing with heartbreak in the past xx

Mammyloveswine · 22/03/2025 03:41

They are just dicks… date 1,2,3,4 it doesn’t matter when you sleep with them! Just all arseholes!

Lanifers · 22/03/2025 03:48

how long has it been since you heard fro. Him? If it’s a couple of days maybe some kind of explanation? Totally not your fault though he could have done this at any point in your relationship irrespective of when you slept together. I’ve know this to happen a few months in. It’s cold comfort but better to find out that he’s like this now before investing any more time on him.

Firenzeflower · 22/03/2025 03:52

You’ve done nothing wrong. He’s shown himself to be deeply unpleasant.

Under no circumstances contact him. Delete his number.

Original poster
SingleRoo123 · 22/03/2025 03:57

Lanifers · 22/03/2025 03:48

how long has it been since you heard fro. Him? If it’s a couple of days maybe some kind of explanation? Totally not your fault though he could have done this at any point in your relationship irrespective of when you slept together. I’ve know this to happen a few months in. It’s cold comfort but better to find out that he’s like this now before investing any more time on him.

It’s been a week. Last time I spoke with him was when I left his house the night we slept together. I’ve sent a couple of mundane messages but no reply to them. Seems like it’s been a lucky escape, for all it hurts, like you say best to find out now.

OP posts:
Shatandfattered · 22/03/2025 03:59

I mean this kindly but is it perhaps something to do with sexual compatibility or about the sex in general? I know ive personally had a horribls sinking feeling after the deed and ive realised the person really wasnt for me, but to completely ghost you is cruel.

Original poster
SingleRoo123 · 22/03/2025 04:19

Shatandfattered · 22/03/2025 03:59

I mean this kindly but is it perhaps something to do with sexual compatibility or about the sex in general? I know ive personally had a horribls sinking feeling after the deed and ive realised the person really wasnt for me, but to completely ghost you is cruel.

The sex wasn’t great if I’m honest. He seemed to get a lot more out of it than I did. Obviously without going into it too much he had himself a jolly time…me not so much but I was happy to move past it and try again but I think he was just after sex, he got it and ghosted and it is absolutely shit. Like you say so cruel.

OP posts:
CheekyHobson · 22/03/2025 04:34

he said no I'd given him a long hard chase which he appreciated because that's all he wanted.

Christ almighty. Some men people really do just see others as a means to an end and not actual people themselves, don’t they.

Crankyaboutfood · 22/03/2025 04:40

mummypigoink · 22/03/2025 01:21

It’s the most pathetic, shitty behaviour but it really does sting. I absolutely promise you, you will quickly realise this is the human version of the rubbish taking itself out.

Edited

you have to know it is him, not you. a normal person reacts as you do so don’t beat yourself for reacting normally to really shitty behavior. i am so sorry, but good to find out now and. it waste any more time.

NatureOverNightclubs · 22/03/2025 05:46

As for judging OP if it makes you feel better. I know someone a little bit, not super well but enough to chat to a bit. I (secretly) absolutely fancy the arse off him. If he was a work colleague who left and then kept in touch via friendly texts for eight months and we got together for a meet up? I would drink a massive glass of wine for courage and then be up those stairs two at a time like a rat up a drainpipe. I'd be ripping his fucking clothes off before we even got to the bedroom... and this is coming from someone guarded who hasn't had sex for over three years and is VERY fussy. There. I hope that made you giggle; and it sounds like he was shit in bed anyway! X

NatureOverNightclubs · 22/03/2025 05:53

Oh and also. Even though I'm nowhere near being in love with him if he ghosted me I would be feeling physically sick with upset. It's a terrible thing to do to anyone especially someone you've been intimate with. He really is a first class cunt x

MinnieCoops · 22/03/2025 05:57

Be aware of him replying when he wants sex again. I would block him

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