Affairs, long-awaited Karma and Strictly Come Dancing!

[ForTheLoveOfGod82]

I’ve just been reading a news article on the split of Ben Cohen and Kristina Rihanoff due to massive financial difficulties (they met on Strictly Come Dancing years ago and he dumped his wife for her.)

At the time, his wife was devastated, went through a bleak period of divorce grief and a diagnosis of cancer but ultimately paved a new life for her and the children. A story much similar to my own.

Now I’m not one to like people to suffer and believe all break-ups are traumatic, so I’m embarrassed to say that this story resounded with me and I thought ‘karma is a bitch’.

Does karma really exist? I’m hoping I’m not a really bad person and just like to see aggrieved women get the last laugh!

Wouldn't blame his ex wife for having a grin on her face

Of course it doesn't. Just like the tooth fairy and Father Christmas it's a construct to make us believe everything will be alright in the end. Ditto religion in my opinion.

Apart from Trump, Putin, the Taliban and my ex next door neighbour I don't really wish anyone ill. And none of them have suffered from karma as far as I can see.

Karma always comes round with a cheat: she's saddled with a craven liar.

I was unbothered when my ex’s OW split from him after they’d been living together for about four years. If anything I was a bit apprehensive because I thought that a new woman mightn’t be as nice to my kids (the OW was warm to them and they also got on well with her son and her parents). I also worried that if a new woman was unwelcoming, the children would visit my ex less often and I’d have less free time.

As it happens ex was single for ages and my children were 18+ when he met someone else - but obviously I didn’t know that was going to be so.

So I wasn’t pleased when they separated but I did think about how it would impact the children and me rather than how he was feeling -because I didn’t care!

@VictorianChic - that's so mature and healthy that you put your DCs wellbeing before any petty feelings from the past.

My first instinct would be 'haha!' but then I hope I'd be mature too.

I hope his ex-wife is on cloud nine hearing that news. And I hope he's as fucking miserable as he deserves to be.

The problem with the concept of karma is that awful things also happen to nice people. Some of the loveliest people I know have had a devastating diagnosis of some sort (not just cancer, other equally devastating illnesses) or have died, or have had horrible career knockbacks (eg their employer going bust) or tragedies where they lost a loved one.

I wouldn't want my children's dad to be experiencing financial difficulties though. Whatever he's done to me he's still their dad, and it affects them too

As much as I’m not fond of my ex’s partner who was the OW I’d rather they stayed together now. At the end of the day it was him being unfaithful, she didn’t ‘steal’ him from me. She’s a nice person overall; if she leaves him he’ll be a miserable grumpy old git and that just means more hassle for me (we have a child together who’s an adult but who still needs his dad).

I tend to think people who believe in karma are a bit dim, and that they probably also believe in shared characteristics and fortunes of star signs.

Good things happen to awful people and awful things happen to good people - that's life. We're not living in a Dickens novel where virtue is ultimately rewarded, but I suppose people are just looking for sense and order in a world with little of either

No, karma, is absolute bollocks, just like horoscopes and all the other things very basic people believe in. The universe doesn't have a plan, it is chaotic and bad things happen to good people too. I instantly judge people who say "karma is a bitch". Apologies but it's true. It makes you sound stupid and petty. It is probably true that people who cheat are more likely to cheat again, just as people who steal are likely to steal again, and people who run half marathons are more likely to do that again. Most people's behaviours follow patterns but that's about all.

the ex wife also said her own children with him will have to move house again (for the time they spend with dad) so I think her natural feeling of karma will be mixed when her children are affected.

I don't believe in Karma like it just magically happens from the universe.

But I do believe it plays out in some situations - a prime one being if a woman gets into a relationship with a man who is cheating on their wife/gf then it follows that the man has no qualms about lying to their partner.

That makes him a risky choice of a partner and she may well suffer the same fate as his previous partner further down the line.

Abbey Cohen (the ex) gave an extremely dignified interview to the DM at the weekend. There was a thread about it on here.

I don't buy the karma thing either, I think any relationship built on the foundations of adultery is perhaps more likely to fall apart at some point, not to mention the pair of them seem like total narcissists with egos the size of Blackpool.

It'd be nice if this whole shambles made either of them think and feel some shame that they've upended the lives of the people involved, particularly the children for nothing. But I don't think either of them possess a moral compass unfortunately.

Is it karma though? They were together 10 years and have a kid. I read his wife’s interview and was surprised she did it as thought she would rather sit back smugly as she has moved on with a partner since.

What he did was awful but I think the best revenge is showing you are happy now and not bothered what he does (like other posters have said)

I dunno, I think I would only be happy with Karma if it happened quickly.

The concept of karma is nonsense. That something is going to bite them on the butt for previous transgressions? Nope, but....it is nice to see shit happen to people that have done you wrong. The shit happening would have happened to them even if you been pragmatic about their transgressions though.

There needs to be a word for the feeling of relief we get when we see something we view as karma. I bet the Germans have a word for it and it would make more sense to use that word than rabbit on about karma as if it's something that is visited upon people.

The chances are if your ex cheated on you, he will cheat on the OW too because that is his nature. It's nothing to do with some woo concept.

I don’t believe in karma but I don’t feel sorry for Ben and Kristina one bit.

I’m the one being left, traumatised children, controlling ex, cancer diagnosis and surgery the day after the financial settlement.

if karma exists, I must have done something really horrible to deserve this karma. Wish I knew what.

Totally this ☝️. Of course there is absolutely no such things as karma

No, that's not karma, just the effects of poor decision making.

I lost sympathy for his ex when she said “he left me for a fucking Russian dancer”. Absolute snob

Agreed, and that obviously goes hand in hand with being a cheater. They tend to be reckless (and lack empathy) so they make bad decisions in life in general.

I don’t believe in karma. I do think the personality traits that enable you to cheat, lie, sneak about and put your loved ones at risk of STDs and the risks associated with STDs rather than having an open and honest conversation are the same traits that may affect the cheats future relationships and life in general.

Poor Impulse control, need for smoke to be blown up their arse, inability to self soothe, okay with lying, people pleasing tendencies, addiction problems, poor communication skills, selfishness, low self esteem, etc.

I think these traits, unless worked on, may be what causes the cheat future issues.

I dont believe in Karma either. Its funny how feelings change. When my ex and I split up he moved in with the woman he tried to have an affair with - a mutual friend who i loved like a sister.

At first i wanted them to split up and prayed that it would all fall apart but nearly 3 years later i hope it works as otherwise he threw away our 20+ year relationship for nothing. And i really dont like the thought of him being alone and unhappy so i hope it does work out.

But i still wouldnt piss on either of them if they were on fire.