Affairs, long-awaited Karma and Strictly Come Dancing!

[ForTheLoveOfGod82]

I’ve just been reading a news article on the split of Ben Cohen and Kristina Rihanoff due to massive financial difficulties (they met on Strictly Come Dancing years ago and he dumped his wife for her.)

At the time, his wife was devastated, went through a bleak period of divorce grief and a diagnosis of cancer but ultimately paved a new life for her and the children. A story much similar to my own.

Now I’m not one to like people to suffer and believe all break-ups are traumatic, so I’m embarrassed to say that this story resounded with me and I thought ‘karma is a bitch’.

Does karma really exist? I’m hoping I’m not a really bad person and just like to see aggrieved women get the last laugh!

I think life and people are much much more complicated than good and bad. If karma were true there would be a constant redress which is obviously not the case.

Cheating on your partner is a terrible thing to do. But going round hoping that something awful happens to someone else is no good for anyone's mental health.

I don't believe in 'karma' but sometimes people do get their just deserts and it that didn't stop me laughing when my ex who shacked up with my sister (who spent ages crowing that she'd somehow 'won' this great example of a man) treated her like shit and cheated on her.

I do longer speak to her. Her life is still crap. Eh. Don't care.

I definitely don't believe in karma! Db was the nicest person you could meet, never hurt a fly and he had the most traumatic death last year aged 57. My exdh is a pathological liar, has caused untold hurt to everyone including his own parents and our dc yet at the age of 65 is still living the life of Riley albeit on benefits!

I think karma exists in the sense that dishonesty, meanness, self-absorption etc tend to end up biting people on the ass.

My ex is a narcissist and he has a long and growing trail of people behind him who won’t have anything to do with him anymore. And he’s a spendthrift and it’s slowly catching up with him as a renter with a lot of nice clothes but not much in the way of retirement savings.

What goes around comes around if you wait long enough.

She may have been a little upset at the time.

If you believe in karma, then you are subscribing to the belief that the bad things that happen to nice people is their pre-determined fate for something they did in a previous existence.

Which means that you'd be quite accepting of a young child being diagnosed with terminal cancer, or an adult being hit by a car and left disabled.

I find that a pretty chilling way to look at life. I prefer to think that people are subject to their own free will - they make their own decisions and set their own principles and morals. Whether they choose to uphold or break them is entirely their choice.

Not ‘karma’ as such but I do believe that you get out of live what you put in and generally nice people will come off better, within the things that they can control. This of course excludes illness and accidents etc.
My ex treated me badly. Has affairs with multiple people that we worked with (large corp office) and visited a prostitute when we were together.
I left him. Got my head down at work and progressed. He went off the rails and was made redundant. Settled for a lesser paid job whilst I was promoted.
I met my now DH 6 weeks after we split. He’s absolutely wonderful. Everything my ex wasn’t. We now have a wonderful life. Are comfortable and have our dream home which we’re renovating together.
Last I heard, my ex was single and having financial difficulties which his DPs had bailed him out of (almost 50).
12 years later he still tries to contact me. He’s blocked on everything and goes to weird lengths. My DH and I laugh and my DH often says he’s grateful that ex was a prat because we found each other!

Well I must be the dimmest of the dim because i have seen what is called "Karma" bite a lot of people on the bum.

IMO it works like this. Actions create energy,.either positive or negative. So if someone goes around pulling dirty rotten tricks on other people, then eventually it will come back on them.
"What goes around comes around" is another way of putting it.

I can honestly say that anyone who's done me a bad turn has ended up at some kind of a disadvantage.

Top of the pile is my exH who left me for a girl at work. They have had a whole pile of problems that you wouldn't believe. I'm not going to list them as it might be outing....

Karma is bollocks frequently trotted out by those wanting to make themselves or someone else feel better.
That said, I am pleased on behalf of the wife.
I had something similar happen to me with my now ex-husband and best friend at the time of a cancer diagnosis and would be chuffed to bits at any negative events in either of their lives.

Not sure that’s a let off

You must be perfect then if you’ve never said or done anything regrettable while upset.

So virtue is ultimately not rewarded? Seriously? As in hard-working trait being a virtue is not rewarded by good exam results, entry to uni and if virtuous again by virtue (sorry) of studying hard at uni, entering a chosen profession and being happy in it - not a reward for you? Or decency as a virtue brining lots of decent friends around you not being a rewarded virtue? Or training hard (diligence is a virtue) and wining medals or just training hard and conquering an illness as a result not a reward for you? if virtue is not being rewarded, according to you, what is the point of being good and striving?

I didn't read that as snobbery. I don't think she was looking down in her for being a Russian or a dancer. I think it was more like "He left me for a fucking 25 year old" or similar i.e something so far removed from what she is, something almost outlandish compared to her ordinariness.

Really?

They have a kid together and this was a long term relationship so I am not sure that rejoicing that they are now separated is the right thing to do...

She did not 'steal' him either, he was a grown man and she was the single one.
He decided to cheat on his wife.

Frankly life is not black and white and many relationship just come to an end for a variety of reasons.

It is just sad for everyone involved.

She said it in the heat of the moment at a time when her life had been completed upended and was a big enough person to later say she regretted it.

During a chat with New magazine, Abby explained: "At the time of the break-up, when hugely stressed, I once angrily referred to Ben's partner as a '[explicit] Russian dancer' to a journalist hassling me. I regret that now."

She might have been upset then but I don't think she came over at all well in the interview she gave over the weekend.

Genuine question, but why not?

So what did you do to have karma visit you in the shape of your ex hurting you?

Because you can’t have it both ways. If something happening to someone who has wronged you in some way is karma, then that bad thing happening to you is obviously karma for some wrong you’ve committed. You can’t pick and choose when it’s karma and when it isn’t.

Not karma so much, but if you go through life betraying people and being untrustworthy, then people tend to treat you as such, and that’s not good for business.

It seems odd that two people whose careers depended on physical prowess didn’t plan better for the future, but perhaps bad publicity surrounding their relationship put paid to their business plans? And I suppose that would fall under the category of natural consequences?

Wishing Abby the very best. That poor woman has obviously suffered immensely. She has a lovely man and beautiful girls and her animals.

It’s not politically correct to say it but nobody knows what goes on in someone else’s marriage.

It goes without saying that some people cheat purely because they can, they lie and sneak around and hurt people who have no idea.

But I equally know of marriages which have been so toxic that when the partner cheats I can only think that they were married to the wrong people.

And when I see parents weaponise their children due to having to have been cheated on I wonder what that partner was like to be married to.

Yes the act of the affair is wrong. But it’s naive to think that it’s always a one-sided thing where the cheated on partner could do no wrong.

I mean who knows, if your partner leaving you after you’ve got together through cheating is karma, then maybe the person you cheated on is getting karma for being a bitch/bastard.

It’s not black and white.

Only snobby if you think being Russian, or a dancer, is something to look down on. (The fucking bit was just fact, given she was fucking Ben Cohen).

Hells, I'm really sorry to hear this @Aussiebean Seen you for years on here.

Sincerely hope the surgery went well.

But bad things happen to good people. You could do everything right and end up with a severe mental health diagnosis or cancer, and never be able to work in your chosen profession. I don't think 'virtue' necessarily means hard-work though, to me it's more about being a good person.

What is the point of being good and striving? - Well, exactly. There isn't really any point. Life is random.

That’s not Karma . That’s terrible unfairness and bad luck . Karma is when someone treats or hurts someone badly and the same thing happens to them so they then go through the pain and upset they caused others .