Affairs, long-awaited Karma and Strictly Come Dancing!

[ForTheLoveOfGod82]

I’ve just been reading a news article on the split of Ben Cohen and Kristina Rihanoff due to massive financial difficulties (they met on Strictly Come Dancing years ago and he dumped his wife for her.)

At the time, his wife was devastated, went through a bleak period of divorce grief and a diagnosis of cancer but ultimately paved a new life for her and the children. A story much similar to my own.

Now I’m not one to like people to suffer and believe all break-ups are traumatic, so I’m embarrassed to say that this story resounded with me and I thought ‘karma is a bitch’.

Does karma really exist? I’m hoping I’m not a really bad person and just like to see aggrieved women get the last laugh!

I did find it shocking that Ben offered her no help or support when she was unwell with cancer. I'm not sure if she was with her partner then or not but even so just for the sake of the children they share you'd think he'd have asked if he could do anything.

Karma isn’t the ‘bite you in the bum’ thing that it has been popularised to be, its seeds which are planted by every action that we take and those seeds ‘grow’ consequences.

So yes, karma exists, but not necessarily in the way some people want it to.

I agree with you but I think people need to have something to hold onto and believe in, particularly when they are hurt and have been wronged. Much like the idea of heaven and the afterlife in times of bereavement. It may not exist (and probably doesn't) but to some its something to hold onto and gain comfort from.

Nah, no such thing as karma, I believe!

When i was younger i believed in karma has ive got older i dont.
I believe that some people become unimportant to us because wishing and hoping and hating is still a feeling for them.
But when they become unimportant there is nothing left to feel.
My ex left me for someone younger went on to have kids and fly around the world i was angry but as i spent time on my own i come to know me more and hating him was still a feeling wishing they would split i was still thinking of them.
After some time about 3 months he didnt cross my mind he become unimportant.
Bumped into him in town he tried to talk all nice i said i wish them both the best your but neither of you are important to me i walked off.
The look on his face was priceless as he stood with baby a toddler having a tantrum and a preganant partner.
I moved out the area and moved on i couldnt care less what they do.
He tried to add me on SM so i closed all accounts.
Simple he`s not important enough no feelings left we dont forget who they are we forget the feelings we had for them and they become unimportant.

How can Karma exist? Look at Putin and Trump.

Bad things can happen to good people. There is a hefty element of chance and uncertainty in our lives which has very little to do with how we behave. In my extended family, there is a young adult who has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. They are kind, helpful, they have worked hard, been diligent, had a great Uni offer (which they are now not going to be able to take up).

To use your terms - they are virtuous. But sadly their virtue has nothing to do with their prognosis and the fact that their life is going to be unfairly cut short through an illness that's likely to cause them pain and suffering. It's completely shit, there's nothing they can do about it. No amount of hard work, kindness and virtue is going to change that.

The concept of karma says that this is their fate - that they have somehow put themselves into the position where they deserve to die in their early 20s. I don't share that belief.

I was subject to a misogynist campaign by a local estate agent for twenty years. I couldn't buy or rent a house in the town and my husband and I were accused of criminal activities. Me a madam, my husband a drug dealer. The reason for his behaviour towards me was I complained about a very expensive advert that showcased them and not the house we were trying to sell. He even got a friend to stalk me (I had him arrested).
He ruined so much of my children's childhoods and I didn't really know him. The anger towards me was off the scale.
He's now retired on health grounds and I have too. He's a shit and hopefully I get better. I actually don't give a flying fuck about him.

No, hon, pay attention - in your example the virtue of hard working paid off in relation to your young relative - he got a uni offer he wanted. He was kind - he must have kind friends around him, a reward in itself. As for illnesses, etc. - this is a totally different story, nobody is immune and nobody is guaranteed a reprieve from awful things happening to them, ex.Job.

In the OP premise, arsehole behaviour had its negative reward - the cheater's new life with the mistress fell apart. Karma, or actions have consequences, or sins are punished in the long run.

@Hwi What an awful, cold, condescending post. And after you preaching about virtue. Wow.

I don't have strong feelings about people I've never met and I don't see the point in revelling over someone's hard times. It's interesting you're taking it so personally.

If your the sort of woman to steal another women’s husband, you are the sort of woman to run at the first sign of financial hardship.

It cannot be assumed that his ex feels smug about this. I have remained on good terms with my exH, despite him leaving for OW (who I have grown to like). I would be sad if they split up and that he might feel lonely.

I think it's far healthier to just focus on your own recovery when something like this happens rather than hoping for Karma. Everyone has ups and downs in life, it's inevitable. I don't think it is Karma, it's just life.

I think the ex seemed a bit too bothered imho
I honesty can’t understand why she gave that interview tbh

I think most people are actually in agreement on this thread but the disagreement arises from different understandings of what Karma actually is.

Obviously there is the official religious definition that states that our previous actions (even in past lives) determine our fate but I think most people nowadays understand it to mean that if you choose to do a bad thing then you will ultimately pay the price for this one way or another.

I don't think many people (other than those who are religious) believe the former definition and I can see how it can be offensive to those that are the victims of bad fortune and yet are somehow blamed. However I think most people broadly agree with the latter definition. In my experience people rarely get away with doing terrible things.

She lost me at the bit where the said the Strictly theme tune gives her PTSD and her apparent in-depth knowledge of what Kristina does or doesn't do in the family home even though they haven't met in over a decade. I felt she came over as a bit obsessed - although I can see others have a different take on it.

I really don't know what you're talking about.

All I know is that the Karma bus doesn't run to my timetable (or anyone else's)

🤔

I agree and think most people saying they believe in karma on this thread don't mean it in a religious sense. Only in the sense that if you're a person who regularly behaves badly in the end that isn't going to help you with relationships, jobs etc & some "bad luck" will likely come your way as a result of your actions or behaviour.

I was absolutely fucking furious when this happened with my exhusband.

For the 2/3yrs his xe was in our life from two weeks after we broke up, my ex and I did no co-parenting together whatsoever, in fact we didn't speak to each other for two years. He was incredibly petty with our daughter, for example brought her home in new winter boots and made her take them off at the doorstep and other shite things.

He left with no debt what so ever, and ended up with a 30k IVA and paid the minimum amount of child support giving absolutely no other help over the next 5yrs.

I mean yes I suppose it was karma him breaking down in tears and apologising for all the shit he put us through but the aftermath and the damage was felt for a long time after that I can't really connect it to karma, it was painful more than anything.

So the cheater is rewarded for his previous behaviours, however virtuous they might have been by the fact he had a lovely new relationship, more children, a lovely life.

Lots of relationships break down, that doesn’t mean it’s karma in the same way that the person with the university offer was diagnosed with a terminal illness.

Thank you. I was quite taken aback by that poster's response. Self awareness clearly sailed straight past them.

I don't believe in karma, but I do find it extremely funny that he has been dumped for not having enough money

Yes I believe in karma!