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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I contact him after 5 and a half years??

111 replies

Warmautumnbreeze · 14/03/2025 18:48

5ish years ago I met a man on a night out and we met up a few times for day dates and were in touch daily over WhatsApp and phone calls. He lived around an hours drive from me and we both had kids so we didn't see each other much, but when we did I got to know him a bit and found he was really genuine and kind.

It didn't really go anywhere because I'd only been divorced about a year, my kids were still young and I didn't feel I could give a relationship or him the time he would deserve. So I broke it off and he was really understanding and said he'd want to remain friends. We're friends on Facebook and would occasionally comment on each other's posts, wish happy birthday etc. One day I sent him a message and I could tell from his reply he was calling a day on us being in touch, and shortly after I saw on Facebook that he was in a relationship. Fine, I was happy for him, he's a lovely guy.

I haven't had any relationships since my divorce (I'm not counting what I had with this man as a relationship because it was so short lived). I have occasionally thought of this man and felt fondly of him and thought I hope he's happy and then thought nothing more of it.

Anyway, to the point. Today I decided to clear up my WhatsApp, I had groups and message threads in there back to 2018. I came across my chat with this man and re read it and was reminded of how lovely he was, and I felt like it was a shame I let a decent man go as there aren't that many around (I certainly haven't found any!). Out of curiosity I looked on his Facebook and can see he is now single. I feel like I want to reconnect with him and see how he is and how the last few years have been since we last spoke. Maybe even see if something could happen between us again.

I'm undecided what I should do and don't want to ask people irl about this so I'm asking the wise women of mumsnet, what do you think I should do? Contact him or not contact him?

OP posts:
Mycatisanevilgenius · 02/04/2025 01:05

Yes contact him

Crankyaboutfood · 02/04/2025 12:12

really wonderful update! hope things continue to go well

1dayatatime · 03/04/2025 11:29

What a lovely outcome to this thread.

Moral of the story is to go with the advice of the first few posters such as @Justme2023123 "Go for it, the worst that can happen is that he just says no".

"Our biggest regrets are not for the things we have done but for the things we haven't done"
Chad Michael Murray

Marie8611 · 03/04/2025 18:09

Aww this is lovely news! X

larkstar · 01/08/2025 19:20

@Warmautumnbreeze
...and?

Savoretti · 01/08/2025 21:42

Any further updates OP? Hope you are stili going strong xx

Warmautumnbreeze · 07/08/2025 15:28

Just popping on with an update. It feels so long ago since I made this post but in reality only a few months! Still going strong. Met each others families, kids get on, feeling the love! ❤️

OP posts:
CountessWindyBottom · 07/08/2025 21:04

Warmautumnbreeze · 07/08/2025 15:28

Just popping on with an update. It feels so long ago since I made this post but in reality only a few months! Still going strong. Met each others families, kids get on, feeling the love! ❤️

So delighted to hear this. What a lovely story to tell your kids 🩷

washinwashoutrepeat · 07/08/2025 21:16

This is wonderful!

PinkPoppies2025 · 07/08/2025 23:04

Love this. Great story.

DurinsBane · 08/08/2025 09:31

You are now going to get slated from some users here for including your kids to him before you have been together at least 5 years 😁

Warmautumnbreeze · 17/03/2026 16:01

Checking in with a one year update 👋.
We're very happy, have our first holiday abroad planned with all our kids this summer. I'm so glad I contacted him, can't imagine life without him now 💕.

OP posts:
paradisecircus · 17/03/2026 16:03

Give it a go, as long as you're emotionally OK with the possibility of him not replying or giving you a polite brush-off

paradisecircus · 17/03/2026 16:04

Oops sorry, lol. Lovely update OP.

AnnaQuayRules · 17/03/2026 16:07

What a great outcome! Congratulations on your anniversary

BuiltToDrift · 17/03/2026 16:15

This is the nicest thing I've read all day! Enjoy your holiday😃

Lennonjingles · 17/03/2026 16:19

Great update.

moderate · 17/03/2026 16:29

Why would you not?

Edit: lovely update!

shivermetimbers77 · 17/03/2026 18:30

That’s great OP, enjoy!

CornishTiger · 17/03/2026 18:33

Warmautumnbreeze · 17/03/2026 16:01

Checking in with a one year update 👋.
We're very happy, have our first holiday abroad planned with all our kids this summer. I'm so glad I contacted him, can't imagine life without him now 💕.

What a fantastic update. Sometimes you need to take a chance on a little romance.

Janey90 · 17/03/2026 18:36

I’m so pleased for you, OP!

oviraptor21 · 17/03/2026 18:39

Awww - that's lovely 😍

GinGenie · 17/03/2026 18:54

Ah this is lovely 🥰

BlackSheepThisYear · 17/03/2026 18:56

What a lovely update! Wishing you a lovely holiday and a happy future!

IndigoBabble · 17/03/2026 19:05

Aww! I’ve had a bit of a rubbish day and feeling sorry for myself but this has really made me smile! Such a lovey post and even though I don’t know you you sound lovely and I am really happy for you 😍