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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I contact him after 5 and a half years??

111 replies

Warmautumnbreeze · 14/03/2025 18:48

5ish years ago I met a man on a night out and we met up a few times for day dates and were in touch daily over WhatsApp and phone calls. He lived around an hours drive from me and we both had kids so we didn't see each other much, but when we did I got to know him a bit and found he was really genuine and kind.

It didn't really go anywhere because I'd only been divorced about a year, my kids were still young and I didn't feel I could give a relationship or him the time he would deserve. So I broke it off and he was really understanding and said he'd want to remain friends. We're friends on Facebook and would occasionally comment on each other's posts, wish happy birthday etc. One day I sent him a message and I could tell from his reply he was calling a day on us being in touch, and shortly after I saw on Facebook that he was in a relationship. Fine, I was happy for him, he's a lovely guy.

I haven't had any relationships since my divorce (I'm not counting what I had with this man as a relationship because it was so short lived). I have occasionally thought of this man and felt fondly of him and thought I hope he's happy and then thought nothing more of it.

Anyway, to the point. Today I decided to clear up my WhatsApp, I had groups and message threads in there back to 2018. I came across my chat with this man and re read it and was reminded of how lovely he was, and I felt like it was a shame I let a decent man go as there aren't that many around (I certainly haven't found any!). Out of curiosity I looked on his Facebook and can see he is now single. I feel like I want to reconnect with him and see how he is and how the last few years have been since we last spoke. Maybe even see if something could happen between us again.

I'm undecided what I should do and don't want to ask people irl about this so I'm asking the wise women of mumsnet, what do you think I should do? Contact him or not contact him?

OP posts:
Doitrightnow · 14/03/2025 20:47

Definitely! I had a similar dilemma, didn't go for it and really regretted it!

carly2803 · 14/03/2025 20:59

100% yes! as he is single, it is fine to do this!

VelvetUndergrounds · 14/03/2025 21:13

Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it! 💪

caramac04 · 14/03/2025 21:35

Have you messaged him?

Warmautumnbreeze · 14/03/2025 21:36

Thanks for all replies.

I've messaged him. 😁

Will update when there is any news

OP posts:
BlondiePortz · 14/03/2025 21:39

Will you be able to cope whatever the outcome? If you have a set scenario in your head even if you won't admit it i wouldn't

tracebooking · 14/03/2025 22:01
Bored Cabin Fever GIF

This is what I need this Friday night.

Never2many · 14/03/2025 22:02

Posting for the update ;)

Strangecat · 14/03/2025 22:05

I hope it works out!! and yes, decent guys are becoming rare.

LasVegass · 14/03/2025 22:15

Good luck!

StarDolphins · 14/03/2025 22:19

Do it op! What’s the harm, he can say no & you’re no worse off!

medianewbie · 14/03/2025 22:29

Good luck x

happy20218 · 14/03/2025 22:33

posted so I get updates ! Good luck xx

YesHonestly · 14/03/2025 22:44

Not me just placemarking for the update. Definitely not…

Diningtableornot · 14/03/2025 22:47

HomeBodyClub · 14/03/2025 19:06

Plus he’s already given you the brush off in the past. A man would be told to take the hint if he posted this.

He stopped contact with OP when he started a relationship, which was sensible and honourable of him. Now he's single again, it's different. One message in 5 years is hardly hassling him.

itsnotalwaysthateasy · 14/03/2025 22:50

There are a billion people in the world are you are going back to someone who didn't make the effort the first time.?
Always move on, never go back.

Seacatt · 14/03/2025 22:53

As long as I got a seat I would totally ignore her and pay no attention to her mutterings.

Florally · 14/03/2025 23:12

Oh wow - what a great story it would be if he needed back and he also thought of you ❤️

Florally · 14/03/2025 23:12

Messaged!

DurinsBane · 15/03/2025 08:52

Also posting for update!

NatureOverNightclubs · 15/03/2025 09:00

Here for a friend...

ThymeScent · 15/03/2025 09:02

Please update us all 😀😀

Warmautumnbreeze · 15/03/2025 09:07

Morning all, we're meeting up next week! Thanks for the encouragement. Will be good to catch up and find out if there is still a spark, and if not, well at least I'll know.

OP posts:
Blackcountrychik83 · 15/03/2025 09:08

I was in This exact same situation . Got with someone when I wasn’t in the right mind for a relationship . We split up and got with someone else . I had often thought about him over time and regretted it a little coz he made me laugh .

I then heard years later he was newly single so I messaged him and we got back together for 5 years and the rest was history .

I never regretted messaging him . Do it !

Channellingsophistication · 15/03/2025 09:12

This is brilliant well done. I hope all goes well.

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