So this is my first time posting here and I’m not sure if anyone can see any of my private details so please if you can can someone let me know!
I’ve been with my partner for almost 9 years, we have a son together (just for background). We’ve always bickered it’s just us but the past id say year or 2 things have gone past bickering. We argue all the time about everything and nothing. We had an argument last summer I was sat on the floor cleaning up the toys and I told him I didn’t appreciate how he’d shouted at our son earlier that day he grabbed a vimto bottle off of the table charged at me and rammed it in my eye (cut the side of my eye and gave me a horrendous black eye) I just sat in shock, the next day he swore it would never happen again. A few months later I can’t even remember what had happened but I said something and he emptied his coke can all over me.
A few months passed nothing happened but then early last year I was curling my hair getting ready to go out and my son was acting up a little for him, he got frustrated because I didn’t immediately go and help so he game into the bedroom and as I stood up to get my clothes he threw me down the side of the bed and repeatedly jumped on my legs and stomach and then hit me with I don’t even know what then emptied a big bottle of Evian over me. Again a few months pass not much happens the usual verbal abuse “shh” when I’m speaking, I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m a bad mum etc etc but then yesterday I was in a bit of a quiet mood it had been a long day I was relaxing on my bed he said he wanted to go to sleep so I got up and went to go have a bath as I left the room he put his arms around my next and like tried lifting me up via my neck essentially trying to choke me? I don’t know what was the goal and then proceeded to grab me by my face again from my behind (cutting my nose and just under my eye).
Then today I told him I’d had enough I didn’t want to live like this anymore and I needed him to leave, he proceeded to run at me and fly kick me again the kitchen sides 6 maybe 7 times, started pelting things at me (cocoa butter, a hair brush, the remote my only saving grace was the thick prick tried to throw a wax burner at me and instead got wax all over his hands so he stopped) I went and cleaned myself up and repeated I didn’t want him here to which he made mocking sounds started shhhsing me everytime I spoke, came over smacked me round the side of my head and ripped up my colouring book (which sounds stupid but it was girl moments and I really loved some of the pictures I’d done in there) and started to say some vile things about my mum which I don’t want to repeat let alone type out.
I’d also like to stress NONE of this my son has ever seen but here lies my issue, I’ve been a stay at home mum we rely on him essentially for everything, when I ask him to leave he uses it against me tells me that he call social services on me and tell them that I can’t provide for my son that I’ll have no food or clothes for my son, as it stands I’ve been asking him for a couple quid to go and get some pads, some deodorant like just the basics just for myself but I get shhhsd. I know he’s never gonna change I know it I’m laying in my sons bed with a lump on my eye and purple marks on the side of my face and I’m scared one day I’m going to snap back at him and end up doing something wild but I’m stuck here I don’t know what I do I know what I need to do but if it turns out how he says then I don’t know what I do.
Im sorry this is so long but I’m lost and I don’t have a soul I can tell any of this too and I don’t want to end up battered and bruised every week I’m tired I’m so f’in tired