Oh my god I've done it now.....

[nobodytoldme]

I have just made a complete bo**ks of everything. I sent a sweary text message about my annoying mil to my DH, and sent it to her by mistake. Holy Shit, the world has collapsed and I am in serious trouble. It wasn't even a nasty text, but out of context looked well bad.
Oh god, she doesn't want to ever see me again and has taken to her bed with valium and her loving family surrounding her in her hour of need.
shit again, had to share

Oh dear!

(sorry)

oh no, looks bad ATM but it is sure to die down but you may have to be very very nice to her now, get a pressie or something and apologise profusely.

There but for the grace of god go I

So sorry this has happened to you, (probably not as sorry as your mil)

I know its except that it is probably serious as she has overreacted big time. I have grovelled and begged but she is too hurt to speak to me
Might be a funny story we all tell some day [hmmm]

aw shit - sounds like something I would do! What did it say??

[holds ntm's hand]

what did your DH say?

NEVER use the recently used names function on your phone. EVER

she'll get over it. just apologise nicely and properly (not via text message). if she doesn't accept that then you will have moral high ground.

what did you say??

He was furious, then thought I could rescue it, now furious again. But jesus, the things he says about my mum....

don't grovel and beg! you have been rude and made a mistake but that is all. no need for crucifix.

what did it say?

oh yes, did we ask yet, what did you say?

Deny all knowledge and claim it was poltergiest?

dish the detail

say it was your dh about your mum but he made a msitake

Can't you persuade her it was about your mum?

okaaaay. Large glass of wine. Writing paper. Write her a carefully worded letter, tell her you are really sorry you upset her, that you were being flippant, that you were letting off steam about another matter. Point out that we all at some point say things about people we care about that we do not mean, or would not want them to hear. Unless she is a saint I bet she has said things about you at some point that she wouldnt want you to hear - may be saying them right now in fact... Basically grovel on nice paper, maybe send small sorry gift, then apologise in person. There but for a slip of the finger go the rest of us..

And I quote "she's f**king coming down again tomorrow" - context, I am staying in my mum's (she is recovering from an op) with ds (7 mo)and she is as usual trying to muscle in.
I hate in laws since having ds, is that normal? I can't bear the thought of sharing him with a bunch of people I don't really know/like that much

Is 'fucking' a textonym for anything (that's when the keystrokes for the predictive text are the same for two or more words, like IF and HE, so you get weird typos that aren't really typos). Something innocuous would be good, obviously!

Textonym is dialing isn't it?

Innocuous, but meaningless

Is it best to leave her to cool off for a bit? Maybe then send a letter or another text. And delete her number from your phone!

if you didnt mention it was his mom in the text cant you say its a really annoying friend of your moms who is driving you scatty and you wanted her advice on trying to tell her to go away nicely but some of the text is missing

hi nobodytoldme
sorry about your quandary
I too find idea of sharing kids with in-laws strange (mine are 2, 4 and 6 years old) - though it feels better than it did in the beginning - when they started to have a proper talking relationship with their grandma I realised how important it is for them to have her - anyway, she loves them and is sweet with them. I find it harder to "accept" in the case of one or two of dh's brothers and sisters who are kind of difficult mouthy people. When you see how much extended family resemblance there is that is strange as well though I really wouldn't want them to be my clones. Anyway, going off course. I hope you work things out satisfactorily. I suppose you could just say that you are sorry you were rude but just be honest about how you feel that she wants to take over etc... She might understand.

NTM, I feel your pain - same thing happened to a friend of ours who was sharing a house with his mate and mate's gf. Didn't get on with gf, had row with her, sent text slagging her off... to her. While she was in the house.

They're speaking again now. Only took a few years...

Seriously, grovelly letter blaming bad day and your unreadiness for any company, not just lovely hers, will help a bit. Maybe you could hint that you just couldn't face having to get the place as nice as you would like it to be for her? Or am I clutching at straws?

On other note - I've gone right off seeing MIL since having DS (9mths). Think partly because I've drawn so much closer to my own family through having him. It is weird, though, and glad to know I'm one of many.