Partner just confessed to seeing sex workers

[Issorryreallythehardestword]

Just that, really. I went away for the weekend with friends and he just confessed he'd seen two sex workers while I was away. Plus one two years ago as well. I believe him that that's all. I have no idea what to think. He says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life together with me, and I believe that he he thinks that as well. He has a history of alcohol and drug abuse but is otherwise an excellent person. I don't know what to think and am in shock.

Bloody hell OP. You can’t be serious describing a man who cheats, uses prostitutes, and has multiple addictions as ‘excellent’.

He will have used prostitutes many more times than three.

My guess, someone you know (neighbour/friend) saw him with one of the prostitutes this weekend and he knows it’s a matter of time before they tell you, or he did something that risks STDs. An ex of mine once confessed to sleeping with someone - it seemed odd as I wouldn’t have known. Turned out he caught an STD and was buying time for the tests to come back.

Anyway, get rid. Every woman deserves a better man than this one. Speak to a mortgage advisor to see if you can buy him out. If you can surprise him with an offer ASAP. If you can’t, speak with estate agents for valuations. Keep the dog.

I’m sorry he turned out to be an arsehole. Sounds like there were some red flags waving though. 💐

"... but is otherwise an excellent person"

Oh FGS. Don't be so bloody stupid.

Very well put, he is definitely not an excellent person. He sounds like an absolute nightmare

...or rent temporarily.

Maybe much like a chef at a restaurant or cab driver?

Just more expensive...

So he's excellent ... apart from the fact he's a drug and alcohol addict that uses prostitutes.

So he associates with drug dealers, I'm sure they're really friendly and would leave you completely unscathed were he to piss them off and they catch up with him while you're out and about. And I'm sure any STIs anyone he's cheated on you with has will have looked at his dick and gone nah he's a good man I'll not infect him.

He puts you at risk. Bin him. There's no way there can be a future.

Get yourself screened for STDs, you have no idea what conditions that vile man has exposed you to.

Personally I'd be removing his knackers and feeding them to the dog, but at the very least get the house on the market ASAP and kick the sleazy bloke out.

If he doesn’t use sex workers normally, how did he know how to get hold of two in one weekend? They’re probably both his regulars.

tell him to pack his bags, do whatever it takes to protect your assets, and go get tested for every sti in existence.

He isn't 'seeing sex workers'.

This cheating drug and alcohol abuser is emptying his bollocks into the bought bodies of prostituted women.

Does that help you get your thinking straight?

Keep the dog. Get rid of him. Either buy him out of the house or sell it. Don’t waste your life on someone who does things like this. You deserve so much better.

All of what others have said. In spades, and absolutely.

But (and here is the let's not be hasty bit) make sure you know where you going with the here and now, and your house and so on that you own 50:50, that you have owned when you knew what was going on. Take legal advice. x

Why is this even a dilemma for you? Surely you just dump him? There’s no other solution to this at all I’m afraid OP. There’s no coming back from something like this.

I wouldn't even let the poor dog stay with this arsehole. Save the dog. And yourself.

He has a history of alcohol and drug abuse but is otherwise an excellent person.

He is also a cheat who has used sex workers multiple times. He is NOT an excellent person, come on OP. Raise your bar! Throw this one back, dust yourself off and give yourself a good talking to and a lot of compassion. But DON'T let him weasel his way back in. He has multiple non-negotiable negatives. Bleurgh.

I just want to say thanks to everyone, I wrote the original post when I had literally just found out, and I wasn't thinking straight. He's still trying to negotiate but I'm about to go home and tell him it's over.

It must have been an awful shock for you.
You are doing the right thing ending things with him.
Best wishes to you going forward.

how on earth is someone who uses sex workers and has alcohol and drugs problems an excellent person?? what does he have to do to be a bad person? murder maybe? smh

Let's look at the positives here.

You've found out before you have kids that this man is a waste of your time.

You have a dog. Which are always better company than most men Anyway.

Keep the dog, kick out the loser. Be happy trust me, I've been there.