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Original poster

Partner just confessed to seeing sex workers

93 replies

Issorryreallythehardestword · 02/03/2025 19:53

Just that, really. I went away for the weekend with friends and he just confessed he'd seen two sex workers while I was away. Plus one two years ago as well. I believe him that that's all. I have no idea what to think. He says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life together with me, and I believe that he he thinks that as well. He has a history of alcohol and drug abuse but is otherwise an excellent person. I don't know what to think and am in shock.

OP posts:
Namechangetheyarewatching · 02/03/2025 20:49

rubyslippers · 02/03/2025 19:55

He’s a drug addict
alcoholic
and uses prostitutes

he is not an excellent person - he’s a lying piece of shit
do you have kids / live together ?

either way you need to dump his arse, block his number and build yourself up

This, he would be out the door

JayniSummers · 02/03/2025 20:49

I make no apologies for posting this every time I see a post like this . Google UK punters . It's a site where men who buy women for sex " review" their experiences . Read a few of these, particularly the red " poor reviews" and tell me you are happy your husband is supporting this vile misogynistic behaviour

Namechangersanonymous · 02/03/2025 20:51

madamweb · 02/03/2025 19:59

Agree with this too, I highly doubt these are the only two occasions. These are just the ones that (for whatever reason) he's realised he needs to confess to

Show quote history

My guess is someone he knows ( a friend, relative?) knew about the sex worker two years ago and caught him doing the same this weekend. He has now been given an ultimatum to tell you before they do.

BountifulPantry · 02/03/2025 20:53

It would be over for me. No way I could look at him again.

Laralou999 · 02/03/2025 20:55

bertiebump · 02/03/2025 20:47

Man here, it's not all bad, at least you've still got the dog.
If i took drugs, abused alcohol OR paid for sex.... never mind all 3, I'd expect to be single. He doesn't sound like an upstanding member of the community. Does he go to church?

I don’t think he does 😅

caringcarer · 02/03/2025 20:56

Keep the dog and dump the dickhead.

Overhaul54 · 02/03/2025 20:56

IchiNiSanShiGo · 02/03/2025 19:57

He’s seen 2 different sex workers in ONE weekend? So a different one each night?

If he’s confessing to that, there’s a reason. Either, he wants you to end it because he’s too cowardly to end it himself, or that’s the least bad thing he’s done and he’s hoping you won’t find out about the rest.

I don’t know how you could even contemplate forgiving him. There’s no moving on from that. You’d never be able to trust him again.

This .

stay strong and bin him off. He's clearly got some sort of personality fault that likes risky behaviour. You'll always be the sensible one picking up after the fallout.
Let him experience the consequences of being a fuckwit.

2024onwardsandup · 02/03/2025 20:58

To be honest I'd be more r pulsed that he coerced some poor woman into sex she didn't want by buying her body

Cheating is awful and is one thing - but buying a woman's body is a whole other level of awfulness

ZekeZeke · 02/03/2025 20:59

Make sure he hasn't given you an STI, get tested ASAP and dump his disgusting ass.

bertiebump · 02/03/2025 20:59

Laralou999 · 02/03/2025 20:55

I don’t think he does 😅

Show quote history

Aye. Not religious, but think he may be a low life.

DorothyStorm · 02/03/2025 21:02

He confessed easily to this. So this will be the tip of the iceberg.

he'd seen two sex workers while I was away. Plus one two years ago as well. He has a history of alcohol and drug abuse but is otherwise an excellent person.
The bar is in hell for men. Op, you cannot be this desperate for a man?!? Come on.

femsrad · 02/03/2025 21:03

You've had a lucky break here, you found out. So many women have no clue and so many men pay for sex.

Dump him.

I'm so sorry. That's the only way.

Either do it now or suffer longer.

X

Overhaul54 · 02/03/2025 21:04

JayniSummers · 02/03/2025 20:49

I make no apologies for posting this every time I see a post like this . Google UK punters . It's a site where men who buy women for sex " review" their experiences . Read a few of these, particularly the red " poor reviews" and tell me you are happy your husband is supporting this vile misogynistic behaviour

Oh wow. That site is utterly revolting. Men are an utter embarrassment aren't they.

FluffyDashhound · 02/03/2025 21:23

Tell him your of to.meet x2 men for a quick shag and then you are equal see what he says. Then do it. If you want it to work then your equal aside from this get rid of him

flippinnorrra · 02/03/2025 21:51

This sounds like self destructive/ self sabotaging behaviour. Did he say why he did it? Was he sober? Did he literally go out looking for it, or is it someone he knows / they approached him?

Sounds like addictive behaviour. It's up to you whether you think you could work past this, and whether you'd want to put the effort in. It'd be a hard know from any people but you may feel there's something more to work with.

Channellingsophistication · 02/03/2025 21:54

If that is what he’s told you he has done, there is probably much more…

MeganM3 · 02/03/2025 22:11

He will be telling you a lesser version of events. He would not admit to anymore than he thinks he might get away with.
You'll never know the truth but I'll bet he's got a lot more that he's keeping secret. Someone who sees two sex workers on one weekend is no novice.

Sell house. Get him out your life. Your future is better without him.

YourWildAmberSloth · 02/03/2025 22:13

You mean ex-partner surely? He's just told you that he's cheated, with prostitutes and you're mulling things over?!? Please get an STD test.

2chocolateoranges · 02/03/2025 22:14

If he was my partner he would have been out the house before he’d finished his confession. Done and dusted.

I hope you are ok.

Sassybooklover · 02/03/2025 22:17

You have a partner who has an addictive personality - drugs, alcohol and now sex workers. I doubt very much that the time 2 years ago, and this weekend are the only times he's used sex workers. I don't know much about addiction, but perhaps using sex workers gives him some kind of high (sexual or otherwise), similar to drugs or alcohol. Not only has he cheated, lied but he's opened you up to being at risk of STI. You need to sell the house, keep the dog and run for the hills. He's not a good man at all, using sex workers is about as low as a man can get in my opinion.

womenarehuman · 02/03/2025 22:27

... he'd seen two sex workers means he had sex with two (plus one prior makes three) other people who aren't you, right? Presumably strangers, and bought and paid for by him (you) or someone else?

It's up to you if you stay, go, or take your time to think about it (which may be necessary - if this is the first time you've found out he does this you may still be in shock). But don't make excuses for him.

He has a history of alcohol and drug abuse but is otherwise an excellent person. He has a history of alcohol and drug abuse and of cheating on his partner and endangering her health and well being and of buying sex, at the very least. That's the part you now know. To paraphrase MSP Ash Regan, an excellent person would not be ordering up a woman like she's a pizza.

andthat · 02/03/2025 22:29

Issorryreallythehardestword · 02/03/2025 19:53

Just that, really. I went away for the weekend with friends and he just confessed he'd seen two sex workers while I was away. Plus one two years ago as well. I believe him that that's all. I have no idea what to think. He says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life together with me, and I believe that he he thinks that as well. He has a history of alcohol and drug abuse but is otherwise an excellent person. I don't know what to think and am in shock.

You don’t know what to think @Issorryreallythehardestword about your alcohol and drug abusing partner that uses sex workers behind your back?

Really?

Whats gone wrong with your self worth that you’d be confused about this situation?

This is not an ‘excellent person’. Come on, you know that!!

StMarie4me · 02/03/2025 22:29

"Partner just ended relationship"

Imbusytodaysorry · 02/03/2025 22:29

Issorryreallythehardestword · 02/03/2025 19:55

Just to add, we've been together for four years, and own a house and dog together.

Sell the house abs share the dog or take the dog . Ffs leave him

redpepperr · 02/03/2025 22:35

Do not let him in any way try to justify what he did- especially if it contains blaming you/ your attention towards him.

Be thankful you are not married with kids.

Be thankful you have found this out now- 4 years in is better than 7 or 10+ years in.
It will be worth getting out in the end.

He won't change- alcohol abuse AND drug abuse show a specific type of personality that unfortunately fits with sex workers. He will not 'get better' or 'stop' and one addiction will be swapped for another.

Take care of yourself.