What are my rights when husband keeps packing my stuff and taking keys off me?

[Gina8]

Married for 3 years. No kids.

The house we live in is bought by husband and he pays for the mortgage. The deeds are under his name only.

After arguments, sometimes he will pack my things and tell me to leave his house. Or demand I pack EVERYTHING and leave.

I’ll always agree to leaving straight away but I say it’s impossible for me to pack everything immediately but will remove everything within a week. He doesn’t accept it. He makes it difficult for me and then he will start packing my things for me. Basically throws all my stuff in bags. Sometimes he’ll throw my things out. He takes the house keys off me too.

I’ll usually go stay at my mums and then eventually (sometimes weeks after) he’ll beg and plead for me back. Even when I don’t agree, he’ll be persistent and overwhelms me that I cave in.

he usually kicks me out the house at midnight or later. He’s done this too many times now and I’m filing for divorce. I’ve gone NC.

I have no interest in claiming anything from him. And he can keep his house.

What I want to know does he have the right to expect to leave his house and take all of my belongings straight away whenever he demands. And does he have the right to take keys off me? Even though the house is his and he pays for the mortgage.

The begging and pleading for hours and hours. I’d get overwhelmed and worn out after 6/7 hrs of him begging and promising changes.

hence why I’ve blocked him now

Rights are:
No he cant evict you from the marital home without an exclusion order. They have to go to court. However, it may be unwise to stay if you are unsafe. If he threatens you with violence you can call the police, have him removed and apply for an emergency order so you stay in the house not him even though its his name. This can be difficult to get and should not be undertaken lightly. https://www.denbighshire.gov.uk/en/housing-homelessness-and-landlords/homelessness/homelessness-prevention-guide/relationship-broken-down.aspx#:~:text=If%20your%20partner%20tries%20to,your%20partner%20to%20the%20police.

In terms of your stuff. He cannot just dispose of it as you could sue him in small claims court, he should give you the chance to collect. You may be able to get police support to access the home but its a bit of a postcode lottery. If possible, have a full list of whats there including any proof its yours and value and keep written trail of you reasonably trying to find a time to collect. https://www.cripps.co.uk/thinking/what-happens-if-following-divorce-your-ex-wont-collect-their-things/

You dont want anything in the divorce but while its a short marriage you may be entitled to something. You dont have to go for it but you could always suggest that if he doesnt play nice youll go for the house.

This is only relevant if you're in England or Wales but no he can't kick you out of the house even though it's in his sole ownership because you have matrimonial home rights by virtue of your marriage.

If you don't want a penny from him that is absolutely your prerogative and will at least make divorce proceedings swifter.

I think posters are getting muddled because the starting point for distributing matrimonial assets is 50/50. Lots of factors are then taken into account which may change the split I.e length of marriage, children, earning potential, needs of each party etc. So 50/50 is not an automatic entitlement, but it is the starting point.

In a case like this where the marriage is short, no kids, you haven't contributed to the mortgage etc he would obviously have a strong argument for moving away from the starting point of 50/50 to be majorly in his favour. It's entirely up to you if you wanted to pursue it but get some independent legal advice.

He's completely in the wrong. If he continues to harass you, you should speak to the police.

Is there anyone who can go and get the rest of your things? It's so terrible what he's doing. I hate to think of him getting away with this.

If you mean it about wanting a divorce it hardly matters what he has done and thinks he can do. He isn't going to be doing it again, is he? Is he?

There is information about your rights here
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/if-you-were-living-together/what-happens-to-your-home-when-you-separate/
and
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/if-you-were-living-together/your-ex-partner-is-trying-to-make-you-leave/
It sounds abusive to me. I'm sorry he is treating you this way

I'm pretty sure you can file for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour because he did that.

Morally, he's an absolute scumbag and an abuser. No idea what the legal position would be, but that doesn't matter any more and you're free of him.

In short, no he couldn’t just kick you out like this. Esp in the middle of the night.
This was full on abusive behaviour
The constant begging afterwards was part of the abusive pattern too.

Well done for blocking him. It was a really wise choice and probably took a lot of courage for you to do.

The next step is for you to decide if you’d like some of your be.ingings that are still in the house. And if someone eise could go and collect them for you.
And as you said, next step is to divorce him. I’d be extremely careful to only connect in writing rather than phone so you’re not subjected to his begging (or threats! I wouldn’t be surprised if he switches when he sees it’s not working)

Be careful with yourself.

@Gina8 please see a solicitor as soon as you can. Your situation sounds similar to mine with my exhusband.

My solicitor was able to get a home rights order put on the house so that he couldn’t sell it or transfer it to his family.

I would love to have been a fly on the wall when he received it as he was always packing my bags and telling me to get out of his house.

Well done for taking the next steps to stop this abuse and gaining your happiness xx

He throws you out at midnight or later? What a twat. Does he not know how potentially dangerous it is for a woman to be out on her own in the early hours of the morning? You're right to go NC. Also, you need to see a solicitor.

It looks like he had no right, without going to court and getting an exclusion order, op.

So he's misinformed, as well.as abusive.

He loves a power play, doesn't he.

I think you are making exactly the right decision.

I wish you'd go for whatever you can get out of him as compensation for the abuse though.

My solicitor was able to get a home rights order put on the house so that he couldn’t sell it or transfer it to his family

Definitely do this.

Believe police can support you to return and collect any remaining items.
Woman's aid and solicitors can advise you further.
He is abuse, that's why he's doing what he does. As it is the marital home, he shouldn't be doing it.
Glad you have left and cut contact.

Have you posted about this before?
Im certain there’s a thread giving the exact same circumstances which if it’s not yours you may find for further advice.

Well thank goodness there are no children.
See women's aid and a solicitor and put this nightmare behind you.

You may be entitled to a share of the equity in then home, maybe not half. What about savings, pension, cars, furniture. You will need a solicitor to negotiate a settlement and deal with the divorce.
Dont know why you have tolerated this. Someone would only get to kick me out once. Where is your dignity? Hope you have learned by now op

Take any valuable or sentimental stuff to your mums a bit at a time maybe, he’s sounds unreasonable and could turn violent , divorce is the only answer

He is a warped, warped, warped person.

Typical strategy of an abusiver to emotionally tire out their target. Great job getting away op, you should be proud of yourself.

I clearly have no dignity.

This. Thank you

This is the best advice op.

You wouldn't get half but you might get something like 10 - 20%.

Which i appreciate you've said you don't want but further down the line you may regret this?

But mostly, please don't ever go back! Hope you're ok.

Don't say you have no dignity op, many intelligent and great people are victims of abuse of all types. He's a terrible person but you have nothing to be ashamed of. Wishing you a bright future away from him.

You posted yesterday about him keep telling you that you have bad breath for the past two years.

You’re a decade younger than him and he is clearly a very insecure man who belittles you any way that he can.

Please don’t go back this time. Change your number if you have to so that he can’t come crawling back when he realises you aren’t playing this time.