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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband has said he wants me to die, I have been diagnosed with cancer

115 replies

Paperbear · 16/02/2025 20:09

My husband has a very very vicious tongue. He has it in all aspects of life and other family members on his side have it too.
I accepted this side of his years ago and made a joke of it to family and friends over the years because he has no filter but I've now been diagnosed with cancer and he has said alot of horrible things over the last few weeks. I do think our marriage is over as I think it has crossed a line.

The trouble is I've been a stay at home mum to our youngest for the last 4 years before school as we decided I should do that instead of work.

This has left me very vulnerable as I don't have an income and my circle of friends closed up especially around covid and shortly after and I was relying on my husband to help me with chemotherapy appointment and sorting th children out together. I have 6 months of treatment ahead and I'm just crying constantly because I don't feel any door is open for me right now. Any advice would be appreciated.

OP posts:
Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/02/2025 01:48

I keep coming back to this post. I'm so worried for you @Paperbear Can you take steps to get out?

Paperbear · 17/02/2025 02:19

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/02/2025 01:48

I keep coming back to this post. I'm so worried for you @Paperbear Can you take steps to get out?

I am terrified of opening up to someone about this as I'm in such a vulnerable position right now. I'll try and do that over the next few days. Thanks for reaching out everyone.

OP posts:
Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/02/2025 02:54

Paperbear · 17/02/2025 02:19

I am terrified of opening up to someone about this as I'm in such a vulnerable position right now. I'll try and do that over the next few days. Thanks for reaching out everyone.

Edited

Please stay in touch here. A lot of people have offered some good advice. Please reach out to macmillans/maggies/womens aid.
I will keep checking back. Some others here will, too. 💐

everythingthelighttouches · 17/02/2025 04:27

Paperbear · 17/02/2025 02:19

I am terrified of opening up to someone about this as I'm in such a vulnerable position right now. I'll try and do that over the next few days. Thanks for reaching out everyone.

Edited

You may find it easier to tell someone you don’t know, such as a doctor or a nurse, rather than someone you know.
It is very important they know.

You’ve already taken a big step by getting this written down in this forum. Take comfort from the fact you’ve managed that already, it’s very brave.

i know a lot of complicated emotions will be tied up with the thought of sharing this. But there’s no reason to think you won’t get the same reaction of love and support in real life. It’s just such an abhorrent thing that he’s done.

I hope he doesn’t have access to your phone @Paperbear , if so, make sure you’re logged off between uses.

changednameagain1234 · 17/02/2025 04:40

Sending a hug op xx

Twiglets1 · 17/02/2025 05:30

You must do what is right for you @Paperbear

What I would do is use him for the practical help he is giving right now regarding driving you to appointments/looking after the children etc. Concentrate on your health and getting well again.

But I would be quietly planning on how to leave him in future when the time is right for me. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Oblomov25 · 17/02/2025 06:03

That is just really fucking nasty. Sad

ForeverLoveCeltic · 17/02/2025 06:03

So very sorry to read this. I do hope you have others who will support you . 💚

ComplainAboutRain · 17/02/2025 07:57

Your "D"H is the real cancer. No justification for telling your wife you wish her dead - even more so when she's struggling with a serious illness.

SixtySomething · 17/02/2025 09:13

Paperbear · 17/02/2025 02:19

I am terrified of opening up to someone about this as I'm in such a vulnerable position right now. I'll try and do that over the next few days. Thanks for reaching out everyone.

Edited

I've met some pretty awful people in my life, but your DH is definitely up there amongst the worst.
I was so sorry to hear about this and really upset for you.
Please do get some professional support as so many are saying.♥

MrsMoastyToasty · 17/02/2025 09:22

That's despicable!

In your shoes I would change my will and update the benefiary details with my pension provider so that someone else will benefit and he gets nothing.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 17/02/2025 09:33

@Paperbear what area are you in OP?

DemelzaandRoss · 17/02/2025 11:20

Just wanted to add my support for you. 💐
I think you need to focus on your own health.
Look up Grey Rock & don’t engage in conversation with your not DH.
Your anxiety levels will be uncontrolled atm.
All things must pass. When you’ve had your treatment & hopefully a good prognosis you will feel better equipped physically & mentally to be rid of this nasty, unkind, useless individual.
Sending you positive thoughts.

EarthSight · 17/02/2025 11:25

Fuckinghell OP. I'm sorry :(

You're vulnerable, but you might be better off without him. You really need someone you can trust and who is actually on your side right now.

valentinka31 · 17/02/2025 19:34

@Paperbear I am so unbelievably sorry that you have to face this, but I am sure you can do it. Only I think having the chemo is enough - I think adding more stress to it by going through separation/divorce as well is too much.

Make no mistake, your DH is not nice, not good, and yes, eventually, you will be better off free of him. And I know that right now he is also going to bring you down with his comments and meanness. But he is also going to be of practical assistance while you go through the chemo, even if he's only sitting with the kids.

I would be worried about where you go if you split up. You have enough to focus on in fighting the illness. If you split up, you will also have to find a home and move, or get him to move out, you will have to sort out so much, with money etc too, you will have way less money right when you need nothing to worry about and won't be able to work. You will need a bedroom, somewhere to lie down and rest and get better. You will need more than ever your home.

I had a friend who went through many years of cancer treatment, and she also had a bad time with her DH, and I remember saying well why don't you just leave him then. And she said because I need him right now. I need him. To do things that I can't be doing because of focusing on myself. And when she was better, she then got divorced and is now very happy and has a new DH who is lovely to her.

Unfortunately cancer needs to be dealt with quickly, and you don't have time to get divorced first, or get a better DH to support you.

Right now I feel he's the least important thing. I don't know if you have family close to support you too, but with him, I would just try to ignore him (I know, easier said that done). Only because I worry about the alternative and how you will fix things up.

I hope you have someone to talk to. There is lots of support and you could even call Refuge or the National Domestic Abuse helpline to talk about how he's being and they may have some way of helping. xxx

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