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Original poster

Expectations of a new date on Valentine's Day

80 replies

Annteeta · 14/02/2025 18:24

I've been seeing this guy but just for a couple of weeks. I've not even heard from him today - Valentine's Day. Is that acceptable? I would have expected at least a message.

OP posts:
PinkPonyClub25 · 14/02/2025 18:27

Well, have you messaged/called him?

Trainr · 14/02/2025 18:27

Did you meet him a couple of weeks ago, or have you been seeing him for a month or two and only just decided to be exclusive two weeks ago. How many face to face dates have you had?

IdaGlossop · 14/02/2025 18:29

Steady on! I'd feel pressurised if I received a Valentine's Day message after just two weeks, unless things had got very intense very quickly and we were both acting like out-of-control teenagers.

CaptainFuture · 14/02/2025 18:31

What have you done for him?

Original poster
Annteeta · 14/02/2025 18:32

We've not had the 'exclusive' conversation. I met him in December and then again in January and we've had a couple of dates since. It's all face to face as it was a social group. I feel like if he was interested he could have at least reached out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Annteeta · 14/02/2025 18:33

I've not messaged him. I think he should take the lead on this. I've taken the lead on enough stuff.

OP posts:
Pamspeople · 14/02/2025 18:35

If he was interested he'd seize the excuse of V day to get in touch. He's perhaps just not that into you.

Original poster
Annteeta · 14/02/2025 18:38

He's very affectionate, communicative, attentive. Maybe he's not that into me, but his actions say otherwise in many ways. I suspect fear of intimacy or attachment problems.

OP posts:
Leafy74 · 14/02/2025 18:38

Annteeta · 14/02/2025 18:24

I've been seeing this guy but just for a couple of weeks. I've not even heard from him today - Valentine's Day. Is that acceptable? I would have expected at least a message.

The phrase 'is the acceptable' makes you sound hard work and princessy.

He should run.

Hardlyworking · 14/02/2025 18:40

Are you 13?

Trainr · 14/02/2025 18:41

It sounds a bit early for all that then, if it’s just been a complete of meet ups and being in a group setting. It also sounds like neither of you are that bothered, I’m not getting bodice-ripping vibes from what you’ve said!

Coconutter24 · 14/02/2025 18:41

We've not had the 'exclusive' conversation

You might not be his valentine (well you’re not if he hasn’t made contact)… but could someone else be if you’re not exclusive?

Original poster
Annteeta · 14/02/2025 18:42

He only needs to say something like "you're sweet" or "thinking of you on v day" ffs it's not a massive commitment, just a human to human acknowledgement.

OP posts:
CleanShirt · 14/02/2025 18:42

Annteeta · 14/02/2025 18:38

He's very affectionate, communicative, attentive. Maybe he's not that into me, but his actions say otherwise in many ways. I suspect fear of intimacy or attachment problems.

You're getting all that from the absence of a text from someone you barely know? Cripes.

Original poster
Annteeta · 14/02/2025 18:43

Haha. I'm the opposite of that.

OP posts:
TwentyTwentyFive · 14/02/2025 18:44

Annteeta · 14/02/2025 18:33

I've not messaged him. I think he should take the lead on this. I've taken the lead on enough stuff.

Presumably you're a grown up? This logic is the type tweens go by. It's just immature and unnecessary. If you like him send him a message if you don't care one way or another then find someone else.

Pamspeople · 14/02/2025 18:44

Annteeta · 14/02/2025 18:38

He's very affectionate, communicative, attentive. Maybe he's not that into me, but his actions say otherwise in many ways. I suspect fear of intimacy or attachment problems.

You're giving this way more head space than it deserves! Don't spend a minute longer trying to work him out, you barely know each other. Relax! Go out and see your friends!

RisingSunn · 14/02/2025 18:45

OP you are right - if he was interested in being more - today would have been the perfect opportunity to show that.

So at least you know where you stand now.

Trainr · 14/02/2025 18:45

If someone texted me ‘you’re sweet’, I’d get the ick! It’s only been a couple of weeks, and neither of you can be bothered to text each other, so it doesn’t sound great. I personally wouldn’t be doing or saying anything regarding Valentine’s Day to someone I’ve only had a couple of dates with, maybe he feels the same?

ChipshopPickledEgg · 14/02/2025 18:46

I'm sure he is very affectionate.... Sounds like it's more physical for him than anything else ... But also, welcome to 2025 message him.

HermioneWeasley · 14/02/2025 18:52

Isn’t Valentine’s Day about love? Surely it’s far too early to be in love with each other?

Original poster
Annteeta · 14/02/2025 18:56

We've texted lots and had a video call.

OP posts:
smallsilvercloud · 14/02/2025 18:58

If it's that's important to you then he's not your guy, either he isn't bothered about it or not interested enough, for me personally I would be disappointed if I didn't at least get a message, it's the thought that counts, it shows he doesn't really care.,
It's been casual since December, I think that tells you how he feels.

Onthemaintrunkline · 14/02/2025 19:01

By not saying anything he has ‘taken the lead’.

Munnygirl · 14/02/2025 19:02

Leafy74 · 14/02/2025 18:38

The phrase 'is the acceptable' makes you sound hard work and princessy.

He should run.

Show quote history

It’s the OP who should run. There is nothing wrong in having standardsand if men don’t meet them they should be thrown back