Expectations of a new date on Valentine's Day

[Annteeta]

I've been seeing this guy but just for a couple of weeks. I've not even heard from him today - Valentine's Day. Is that acceptable? I would have expected at least a message.

He doesn’t need to say any of those especially if he’s not thinking that

Yeah but he said more than that to me in person so why not a nice message?

Maybe he isn’t into Valentine’s Day? Not everyone celebrates it

Because he was telling you what you wanted to hear to butter you up so he could get a shag in person. That’s why. He’s a dick. Bin him.

They've been seeing each other two whole weeks. Of course he's not invested. No one should be at TWO WEEKS in.

It is very bizarre to expect men to act as though they're head over heels with you when they've only just met you. And even if he was doing all the correct pursuing, an act is all it would be, because no one has real feelings for someone they've been seeing for a fortnight.

If a man had sent me a Valentine's Day message after knowing me for two weeks it would have been a "whoa, coming on strong" red flag and I'd have run a mile.

So if you feel that way you say it

Some people dont 'do' Valentines and it might just not have occurred to him. Doesn't mean he's not interested. Been married 14 years and we've never done Valentines, neither of us actually mentioned it today. If I was back in the dating world I wouldn't be thinking about messaging someone because it's Valentines

So in order to prove he’s into you, he should have sent a cringey cliched message? So why not say that to him if that’s how you feel?

Honestly it’s overthinking about someone you’ve known a few weeks and by what you’ve posted you’re not actually dating properly anyway

OP I think people are being harsh. Valentine's Day is an opportunity to show a little romance to someone you have varying degrees of romantic feelings towards. It doesn't have to be outright love and you're not being needy or immature. If I had to guess I'd say he's not sure how to approach it, most valentines things involve 'love' and hearts etc and it can be an awkward thing to navigate when you're seeing someone new. Your feelings are valid but don't overthink his lack of contact.

It’s the fact that he hasn’t spoken at all and OP said she’s already taken the lead enough.

How much effort does he actually make without you chasing him?

They’ve actually known each other for months through mutual friends. And I didn’t say he should act like he’s head over heels either so don’t put words in my mouth. What I said was, he could’ve sent a flirty text. I think you’re being rather dramatic. It’s a perfect opportunity for a man who’s interested to reach out with a fun, jokey text. It costs nothing and takes 2 seconds. If he’s not doing that then he’s obviously not massively interested, which is fine but I wouldn’t waste my time on a man who wasn’t actively interested. You can fine that weird all you like. We are allowed to have different opinions.

These are the usual excuses when a guy isn't that into you and from personal experience they are never true. There's nothing wrong with him and he doesn't have " issues". He just doesn't want a serious relationship with you. He fancies you enough for an occasional shag but that's it. I couldn't be bothered sweating over whether someone was going to send me a message or not.

And if you do suspect fear of intimacy and attachment problems, why on earth do you want to be with him?

If it gives some context, I’m in the talking stage with two guys, both of which sent me a message on Valentine’s Day morning. Nothing crazy or weird, just a little token.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

NEVER chase after a man and am glad to see the OP doing this

rubbish. She has standards and is sticking to them

Exactly

What do gay men do? Both never chase ?

Gay men would NEVER not send a valentine day card

That's actually quite an offensive comment.
Gay men.and not all the same and don't all behave in the same way.
That's a bit like saying all lesbians wear dungarees.

I thought we moved on from these 1970s outdated stereotypes.

Oh don’t be so ridiculous. The gay men I know are house never not send one because they unlike
a lot of men are in tune with their sensitivity and if they like you they like you

Would never not send

Well if the ones you know do it then that's all the proof I need that all gay men do it.

As we all know, there is no higher standard of proof than a Mumsnetter saying 'Well all the ones I know.. "

"

Calm down Margaret. No need to lose the plot.

Why not just call.me Karen?
Or tell me to stop.being hysterical?