Expectations of a new date on Valentine's Day

[Annteeta]

I've been seeing this guy but just for a couple of weeks. I've not even heard from him today - Valentine's Day. Is that acceptable? I would have expected at least a message.

You don’t need a man who’s not chasing you. If he’s not, he’s only being nice to you when he sees you so he can keep getting some action from you whilst keeping his options open. If I was seeing a guy I’d expect a happy Valentine’s Day text, or even something a bit cheeky/flirty. If he’s not taken that opportunity, he’s not invested.

It's only been a couple of dates. You haven't messaged either. If it's only been a few weeks, he probably doesn't want to sound over the top.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable in the slightest. How difficult would it ha e been to get a card or to text you

I'd have the massive ick if someone new said that to me. Maybe he doesn't care about valentines. It's for people you love, and you don't love each other yet! He might not want to scare you off.

Why are you wanting anything with him if you fear that? Probably because you don't really and you want to put him down or get sympathy.

It all sounds rather casual, in which case it's probably not surprising you've not heard anything from him. You've not had the 'exclusive' conversation, only had a few dates and met in a group setting. It's casual. If I were him, that's how I'd interpret the situation. He likes you, but it may be not enough to start sending Valentine's messages? On the other hand, he may feel as the relationship is casual, then sending Valentine's messages wouldn't be appropriate? I think perhaps you are overthinking the situation. Go with the flow, arrange another date, if you like him. If you're not bothered, then there's not much point in tying yourself up in knots over Valentine's messages.

And how difficult would have it been for OP to do the same?

If they wanted to, they would...in this case scenario also...

How many actual physical dates have you been out on?

He is out with his wife

I wound cut a little slack on this one. To be a sincere Valentines (which is just a commercial exercise before Easter) I would say be together for more than 5/6 weeks.

I met my DP in January (12 years ago not this January) and we were kind in inseparable immediately and so I think did something on v's day - but your relationship sounds very causal at the moment and I'm not sure I'd expect anything in the circumstances.

One Valentine's Day I was with someone I'd been dating since the previous October and I had sent him a light-hearted card which seemed appropriate for the early stages of a relationship. We were definitely exclusive by this point. No card, no gift, but late afternoon he sent a text. It said, "Happy Valentine's Day." Literally just that. Not a word about how he'd enjoyed getting to know me, or that he was looking forward to seeing me soon. I could almost imagine him ticking it off a to-do list.

We'd broken up by the end of the month.

It doesn't sound like you are actually in a relationship with him at this point so no acknowledgement of valentine's isn't really surprising. Did you have something prepared for him if he had made the first move?

Men who disappear on Valentine's day are usually attached.

That wouldn't stop him sending a Valentine's message.

2 weeks in and she's performance managing him.

That's not standards, that's a red flag.

Personally, I wouldn’t give a shit if a man I’d only been on a couple of dates with didn’t acknowledge Valentine’s Day. And if I did care, I’d send him a V Day message myself instead of passively waiting for him to make a bid for my attention.

However, if it matters to you not to get a Valentine’s message from someone you’ve only been seeing for a couple of weeks, and that is the kind of thing you prioritise, you can stop dating him.

You obviously don’t agree with anyone who says it doesn’t matter, so just make your own decision without seeking validation. It’s up to you.

So have you been on any 1-1 dates with this guy as you only mention being in social groups, messaging and face time.

Do you normally hear from him every day?

I would find it weird if you spoke every day and then suddenly on Valentines it was radio silence. If you don’t usually speak daily and it normally doesn’t bother you on the days you don’t speak, I wouldn’t see this as any different.

But I worry if you’re already feeling a need to play games a couple of weeks in… does this relationship have legs?

Are you actually dating? You post gives me friend vibes but I think you would know if he was really interested and you wouldn’t be confused.

Some men doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day though a text would have been nice.

If you last saw each other in Jan, seems like its already been a few weeks of actual dates. Honestly, I have no qualms or ego about messaging someone, even if its Happy Valentine's. If you want to hear something from him, then this might help you both to decide what you want.

If he wanted to he would.

I'm all for taking things slow and not expecting anything early on but if it were me, well, I know the person want to pursue would have at least sent a message (at the very least!)

It sounds very casual, he's not even your boyfriend and you've barely spent any time together in 3 months! He's just not that into you.

A lot of women don’t acknowledge it either.