Walking with another Woman

[AmeeLou]

Last year, I went hiking for the 1st time with my Husband and 2 friends. We decided to climb this massive hill, which seemed like a good idea at the time but ended up not being very fun.

It ended up being my Husband and 1 of my friends walking up together the whole way, and Me and my other friend together. They seemed to be chatting away the whole time, laughing and having quite deep conversations by the look of things.

I asked him what they were talking about when we got home and he was very vague. He also said he’d only walked up with her cuz she was at his level ( fitness wise ).

I didn’t really like him ignoring me for about an hour, not even asking if I was ok at any point. I suffer from asthma so I’m not the fastest at walking.

Anyway, 1 of my friends has suggested we do the same thing again, this time including 1 of her friends instead of the friend he walked up with last time as she is busy. I don’t know this woman so I looked her up and she’s very attractive, my husbands type if I had to say.

I’m just thinking it’s going to be the same again, but this time with a different Woman.

Does anyone else think it’s really disrespectful not to walk with me? I’m not saying to be joined at the hip and hold hands, but at some points they were so far ahead we couldn’t even see them.

Oh no, she only invited my Husband, no other boyfriends / Husbands.

Are you naturally quite a jealous person as it wouldn’t bother me this. I’m sure there are many women out there who my OH would be attracted to but I don’t worry about that.

YABU & insecure.

Would it bother you if he told your that he was attracted to your best friend and that she would be easy to pull?

Surely you can say, "if Mike is coming, let's get Bob and Jim and Lou to come too, otherwise he'll be so outnumbered, hahah" (or something) - it's odd to only invite your bloke.

You could even take it into your own hands and just add everyone else's partners to the chat to invite them along?

Unless there’s loads of context we’re not getting, you’re being a bit mad, OP. This is next level jealousy.

I wouldn’t be worried but I’d find it very disrespectful.

that wasn’t aimed at you but at a prev poster who said shed be unbothered if he H found other women attractive. Point I am trying to make is your husbands comments are targeted and direct and I don’t blame you for feeling how you do x

He was walking up a hill next to someone of the opposite sex, not getting a lap dance off her.

I wonder if he's also the type of man who'd book a Thai massage...

I'm the fitter one in my relationship and it would really really piss me off if I couldn't walk to the limit of my fitness or talk to whoever I wish to while I do it. Take your foot off his neck.

'Easy to pull' comment would give me major ick.

And if you think he might cheat or you just don't generally trust him, stop trying to control him via your social life and deal with the real issues between you.

Well if I only read your first post I would think you were unreasonable but having read all your others I don't think you are unreasonable.

Seems like he enjoys keeping you on your toes.

I suppose if you're married to someone who tells you how attractive your friends are and who talks about them as being "easy to pull" then I guess you've got a pretty low bar, so it wouldn't bother you. Fair play to you I guess. But most women wouldn't be thrilled to hear their husband's speaking like that.

It's degrading af, mine would be out on his ear if he called any of my friends desperate.

Aside from everything else, I find it weird that you've agreed to go and walk up a hill again when you didn't enjoy it the first time.

I haven’t agreed. I said something along the lines of all meeting to discuss. Husbands already said he wonders what the other woman is like.

With the update of how he speaks about your friends to you then I would tell him straight this is a girls only walk this time.

I dont think other women are the issue, but more how you feel you partner is treating you to make you feel so low about yourself.

Putting your partner away, adding bubblewrap and whatnot in order to steer his attention away from potential treat of head turning will drive you mad.

What you need to do is let go of this feeling you need to prevent him "going off the rails with another woman. Because its evident in your post that is what you fear. That his head will turn. So try to remember your values as a woman, and if this is what he does, has done or is likely going to do, then surely he is not worth the value of you?

Focus on how he treats you overall, because no matter what you do to prevent him being around "attractive women, if he is likely to jump ship, then there is so little you can do other than know your own true value.

He says I’m just being paranoid and he chats to women just like he would if they were a guy.

OP this is called gaslighting

Yeah I’m thinking I’ll do that. I won’t invite him when I meet the rest to talk about it. The thing is, he’s so ‘friendly’ and gets on with the girls sometimes it’s like he is 1, which is why I think some invite him to things, forgetting no one’s boyfriend or husbands get invited to anything.

Hmm after reading this and your post about him telling you which friends he finds attractive and who would be easy to pull no wonder you're struggling.

he doesn't sound like a very nice man honestly. There's no reason whatsoever to tell your wife which friends you think are attractive surely you keep those thoughts to yourself and the only reason to share them would be to make your wife feel insecure (a nice man wouldn't want to make their wife feel insecure) and as for the comment who is easy to pull disrespectful to you and your friends.

id tell him it's not ok in your marriage to speak like that you don't want to hear it and if he crosses that boundary again id question whether you want to stay married.

having said all that the problems not him walking with and chatting to another woman or how attractive the other woman invited to the next hike is it's how your husband behaves within your marriage.

its unhealthy to ask him not to walk or chat to a other woman but its healthy to ask him not to tell you which friends he finds attractive or easy to pull you find it disrespectful and you want mutual respect in your marriage