Before I launch into this I just wanted to give a bit of background which relates to the situation. I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant and got admitted to hospital a few days ago until my c section date. I’m absolutely fine health wise but it was just deemed safer to be here in case I go into labour. We’re also in the middle of moving house and the deadline to be out is this coming Friday.
so as above I’ve been admitted into hospital which has left my partner on his own to pack up our house, finish fitting the new bathroom in said house and then get the new house ready for us to move into (that house was being renovated and we’ve been let down time and time again by contractors, hence the close deadline) so it’s safe to say he’s had a lot of pressure on him and he’s trying to do all this while working full time and looking after an 8 year old, plus making sure I have everything I need in hospital.
when my mum found out I’d been admitted she offered to help my partner pack up the house, which we gratefully accepted. She turned up yesterday and instantly started judging our situation. She started having a go at him basically saying he wasn’t good enough for me and all of this was so unorganised and last minute and all of it was his fault. She also kept referring to me as “my daughter” the conversation ended with her telling him he isn’t good enough for me and I deserve better. Now this is a man at breaking point. He’s exhausted and struggling with the weight of everything and it is by no means his fault that this has been so last minute. We were let down time and time again by contractors and he’s done his absolute best to get the house done to a liveable standard. The long and short of it is that my mum is a raging snob. Everything is about appearances with her and she’s extremely judgemental. My partner rang me sounding like he was going to cry when he told me what she’d said, so I rang her and she admitted it all. Told me he isn’t good enough for me and that he’s controlling. I asked her how he’s controlling and she said because she’d asked him when I’m going back to work and he said he’d told her I don’t have to go back to work if I don’t want to because he earns enough to support us, but equally if I do I want to go back then obviously I will. She then asked me if I’m truly happy with him to which I obviously replied yes and she just huffed at me down the phone. The conversation ended with her saying she would walk away from my life and leave me to it, wished me luck with everything and then went.
she’s made digs at me about him in the past and I honestly don’t understand why. He’s literally never done anything to her and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with him. She even moaned once because he offered to pay the bill when we went out for dinner for her birthday and she rang me and said he was showing off, but he was just being polite? So he’s never offered again.
I guess my reason for this post is advice on what to do when she inevitably gets in contact with me to try and see the baby. I’ve never had a close relationship with my mum and since being an adult I’ve kept her at arms length because she’s treated me badly in the past. I’ve maintained a relationship because I’ve felt bad that she lives on her own and if anything happened and we weren’t on speaking terms I don’t know if I would forgive myself, but equally being around her gives me crippling anxiety. I feel so angry at her for doing what she’s done and making my partner feel how she has, for no reason. I’m a level headed person and generally try and see both sides of a situation but with this I feel she is completely the one in the wrong. She will never accept this though and will never apologise.
If you’ve stayed with me this long, thank you! Any advise is much appreciated 😊