Parents never call me

[RJP01]

Hi. Just wanted to ask a question to see if others experience the same. Do your parents call you? My parents are fit, healthy and able people yet for whatever the reason they never ever call me. Ever. They always expect me to call them. I've unfortunately have attended two funerals recently 1 week apart which they are fully aware of and yet they still haven't bothered to call me or message to see how I am. Wondering if anyone else has this?

Don’t want to intrude at an inconvenient time therefore letting you choose the times for conversations?

Mmm I still think a text wouldn't go a miss

No. Or very rarely. Mum v occasionally but will send texts.
Dad - pretty much never.
They are divorced many years for context.

Not just me then. Sorry you have the same

It's not just you, my inlaws never ring DH either. I would say someone would have to die first, but given past history they wouldn't ring then either as they don't seem very good at sharing information.

My husbands mum does this, never rings him, we have kids too. She lives a 10 min drive away and only sees them if we invite them round on kids bdays or Xmas time. Very strange. My mum is the complete opposite, always calling/popping over. I find that communicating your feelings is best way forward.

Mine don’t. They never understood that during the grim years of toddler raising, ringing between 6 and 7 on a weeknight (to speak to me, not to FaceTime the kids) was a bad time. They have a narrative, I imagine, that “there’s never a good time to ring”.

My dad sometimes randomly texts to ask if it’s a good time to talk. Maybe once a month or so. My mum hasn’t for over a decade. It makes me sad but, when I do ring and talk to them, there’s very little to talk about.

So odd isn't it. I find it bizarre

No, my parents never used to call me. My Dad is dead now and my Mum is elderly, so it doesn't really apply now, but over the previous 30 years they would never call me. We would only talk every 2 weeks or so when I rang them.
In my 20s, I moved to a capital city and a terrorist bomb went off 6 months later. It was so close, it shook the building I lived in. Terrifying! They didn't phone to see if I was alright or even still alive, we spoke 2 weeks later when I phoned them 🙄
I found it upsetting to be honest, and eventually I stopped phoning them, so after that we only communicated by email.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I totally understand the feeling of feeling upset. I have a son and I often say to my husband I really hope when he's all grown up I will still take the time to call him

My ddad never calls and only texts if she wants something. However she never aid she hints 'I'm going to have to go out in the gale force winds
tomorrow to hand in my prescription' you get the idea

Mine ring me every day. Often more than once. Be careful what you wish for....

Oh yes I know what you mean!

It depends on your relationship with your parents. Have you told them how you feel? And why they don't call? I speak to my parents, especially mother every other day. She calls, I call- we don't keep track.

My Mother In Law never calls my husband. She mite message him every couple of months. He’ll message back a paragraph and she’ll cut it off really quick with something like ‘ok see you soon’. It really frustrates him, especially as she messages his sister all day every day.

Hi. Yes I have said to them. I've done the thing before when not called them just to see what happens and then guilt comes in so I call and I get "we forgot what you sound like" or " we were so worried we haven't heard from you". I will.always say sorry etc and you are always welcome to call me never feels you can't. But nothing.

Mmm I can get why he feels that way

I'm very reluctant to phone my adult DCs because their lives are very much busier than mine and their schedules aren't fixed. I text in advance to ask if it's convenient but I don't always get a reply.

I speak to one of them weekly or more often when she needs specific support. The other calls when there's a disaster.

DM never rings me (although she expects 2-3 chats a week).
It's a little odd.

Mine haven’t called me in over 20 years. I thought it was because of the cost but since free calls have been available they haven’t changed. They don’t call my siblings either. They aren’t really interested in us as people, they just summon us as needed to give the impression to others that they have a happy family.

my parents don’t phone me. We would speak frequently when I was at uni but then I travelled a bit and probably wasn’t too good at staying in touch (pre FaceTime etc) but would still call fairly frequently but by the time I came back, settled, married children they just don’t really call. We have a fairly active family WhatsApp but it’s clear they are closer to my DS and DB. I try to contact them regularly but it just isn’t there. It’s a shame and I wish it was different and I don’t think I am blameless but I do feel quite sad that they just aren’t that interested in me or my DDs.

Oh yes!! I get this, exactly how I feel

When I was younger my dad used to call me, but now he never does, not even on my birthday. He just messages. He also messages to ask if he can come over at short notice but then sometimes I don’t see the message, whereas I’d hear a call.

I do very much understand the not wanting to disturb and I totally get that. Just a shame mine can't do the same as you and even just send a text.

I speak to my DD's daily.. if i don't speak to them, we will exhange texts! which is why i get frustrated with DH's children. They only ever get in touch with their dad when they want either childcare or money!

I used to try keep in touch with them, only by text/whats app! I didn't feel i had a good enough relationship with them to ring and chat, but any messages i sent were left read for days with no reply, so much so that I've given up now... his kids, his relationship!